Hollywood Boulevard

The flick doesn't so much satirize or parody drive-in cheapos as it mocks them. And what movie series is easier to mock than the rubber monsters, cheezy sets, and sloppy directing from the 50's. In fact those earlier flicks pretty much made fun of themselves, and I can imagine what went on behind those set-ups. Here, those behind-the-scenes come to imagined life and add up to the flick's goofy core. But no teen of that era cared what critics thought, including myself. Then too, I really liked the drive-in crowd scene here, where anything goes including make-out teens on car fenders and wholesome 50's type families who actually watch the screen.

Anyhow, the action never stops after the first part. It's all explosions, gunfire, and production crew misfires, and shouldn't overlook the many topless actresses who are anything but misfires. Speaking of actresses, Rialson and Woronov's characters Candy and Mary are not mocked, being more abused by the quickie industry than lampooned. In fact the opening scenes of the stage-struck Candy getting taken-in by fast-talking operators like Walter (Miller) strike a more somber and realistic note than the movie's goofy remainder. In fact, despite the overlying lunacy, there's a somber subtext: namely, that Hollywood exploits the heck out of young women, making them readily dispensable like Jill and Mary. Perhaps that's not a surprising reality to most of us, but a worthwhile under-current to the tom-foolery, nevertheless.

On a lighter note, good to see real veterans of Roger Corman's drive-in empire getting lead roles here - I'll bet they had fun mocking their past. Anyway, brace yourself for an hour-plus of nonstop action and lots of laughs from a nutzoid look at good-times past at the beloved drive-in.

To be entirely honest, I came close to abandoning "Hollywood Boulevard" after a few minutes already, due to the exaggeratedly goofy sequence of a stunt woman crashing from a plane and leaving a person-shaped crater in the ground upon impact. That sort of stuff belongs in a "Tom and Jerry" or "Roadrunner" cartoon, but not here. But because Roger Corman and Joe Dante are involved, and mainly because the gorgeous Tara Strohmeier was standing around topless for no reason, there was a little voice inside my head encouraging me to continue. It might get better...

Overall, I'm glad I persevered. There are many more silly and downright idiotic moments like these in "Hollywood Boulevard", but also the showcasing of brilliant tongue-in-cheek satire and in-house parody. Roger Corman gave two of his canniest acolytes (Joe "Piranha" Dante and Allan "Rock & Roll High School" Arkush) 10 days, $60.000, and free access to the outtakes of his previous film-hits (notably "Death Race 2000). What they delivered in return is a bonkers but imaginative - and, yes, occasionally dreary - cocktail of comedy, sleaze, horror, and parody.

"Hollywood Boulevard" begins as a tale about a naïve young actress struggling to make it in the movie industry, continues as a portrait on how difficult it is to remain successful in that same industry, and ends (quite fantastically) as a slasher in which the sexy B-movie actresses are the targets of a maniacal killer. What makes "Hollywood Boulevard" so enjoyable is the marvelous cast of Corman-regulars and the shameless exploitation of beautiful female nudity. Paul Bartel is splendid as the unworldly director who loves himself and Dick Miller is genius as the sly talent agent. Actresses Tara Strohmeier, Candice Rialson, and Rita George also give more than admirable performances, but - who are we kidding - are most memorable for their topless appearances. The long and 200% gratuitous sequence where the three of them are sunbathing half-naked on a beach in The Philippines probably still is the highlight of Joe Dante's and Alan Arkush's careers!

Oh, and you simple have to love the fictional "Miracle Films" production company's slogan: If it's a good picture, it's a Miracle.

Joe Dante got his start as a director in collaboration with director Allan Arkush on this zany send-up of low-budget film-making, lampooning their own mentor/boss Roger Corman with "Miracle Pictures - if it's a good movie, it's a Miracle!" It's also an homage to an obscure Bela Lugosi flick, The Death Kiss, about a death on a horror movie set. This story takes that premise a little further by making it about a series of deaths, seemingly (at first) unrelated, but soon enough showing a pattern of the female stars being targeted. Who is the culprit isn't really as important, or as entertaining until the last few minutes anyway, as seeing the whole fun/rotten atmosphere of down-and-dirty B-movie-making.

It's not that every joke (intended or not) always works, and some of the acting, even if intentionally, is quite pitiful. But Dante and Arkush are putting so much there on the screen via Patrick Hobby's screenplay that enough of it really does stick. Some of it attributable to the plucky can-do attitude of the character Candy Hope (and equally fun to watch, Candice Rialson) and how she observes and becomes apart of the insanity and snobish-ness of the film crew. Lines also stick out as being the kind you want to quote for weeks ("Your motivation is to kill hundreds of Philippine soldiers!"), and acting from the likes of Dick Miller as the well-meaning agent and Paul Bartel as the pretentious director Erich von Leppe.

The jokes and gags keep coming, and often at a quick enough pace - there's a big shootout between the girls and (stock footage of) Philippene soldiers that is a lot of fun, and a car that's brakes are cut off which allows for a tremendously goofy car chase scene (the car itself possibly on loan from Death Race 2000). And there's a hysterical sequence at a drive-in movie theater for the premiere of Candy's big-screen debut that turns out horribly. It's a sometimes sloppy comedy but that's part of the charm, and a lot of ingenuity goes a long way (one sequence at the movie set after hours where a killer lurks after one of the girls is actually very well directed and moody, a sign of things to come from Dante especially).

Ultra-cheap even by New World Pictures standards, naive go-getter with stars in her eyes Candice Rialson ("my friends call me Candy") finds herself the reluctant débutante in a z-grade Phillipino actioner when her shonky agent (Miller) signs her up for stunt work in the latest film of the "Miracle Pictures" assembly line. The last stunt girl died as a result of the paltry set conditions but Candy is willing to give almost anything a go if it means an opportunity to make it big. Initially duped into robbing a bank that she thinks is a hidden camera role, "Hollywood Boulevard" chronicles Candy's coming of age as she matures in the sordid, tempestuous industry of exploitation film.

Really just a self parody, directors Dante and Arkush have spared much expense cobbling together this endless parade of in-jokes and raunch, with dialogue to die for ("now get it up, or I'll cut if off") and enough skin to make a porn star blush. Bartel is amusing as the ultra efficient director, desperate to placate his high maintenance leading lady (Woronov) and come in under budget, while Jeffrey Kramer (fresh from "Jaws") trundles out the banal scripts like confetti at a wedding, while wooing Candy on the side.

Lots of bare flesh, flying limbs, simulated sex and corny double entendres to offend almost everybody, and, a bizarre blue grass musical number of zero relevance thrown in for good measure. If you're not a devotee of the New World Pictures experience, then doubtful "Hollywood Boulevard" will be your cup of tea; for everyone else, it's a trademark romp down to the usual standards.

Hollywood Boulevard (1976)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

Fun homage to the trash pictures of the 70s from directors Joe Dante and Allan Arkush. Candy (Candice Rialson) arrives in Hollywood and before long she realizes that becoming a star isn't going to be so easy. After several doors are slammed in her face, she eventually picks up an agent (Dick Miller) who gets her working at Miracle Pictures but soon a maniac is knocking off their stars. Hollywood BOULEVARD's history is actually much more entertaining than the film itself so those interested in the movie should certainly hear how this picture came to be and what type of budget the directors were working with. Overall I think fans of 70's drive-in pictures should get a kick out of this but at the same time there's no question that the majority of the film is just the same note over and over. I say this because when you're spoofing the entire drive-in genre, after a while it's clear that you're just spoofing the same type of stuff only with a different setting. We get a spoof of Philapeano movies, action movies, slashers and just about every other popular thing at the drive-in. These spoofs are actually somewhat clever but I think the film works best early on when the woman first arrives in Hollywood. The scene dealing with a bank robbery is just priceless. Also priceless is the work from Dick Miller who hands down steals the picture in his role as the agent. Rialson is also extremely charming (and beautiful) in her role and she really makes you believe that she's just some young girl who gets in over her head. The supporting players all do justice to their parts. At just 82-minutes the film flies by rather quick and even with its flaws the thing is still worth watching.