- [theme song]
- Dick Dastardly: Muttley, you sniggering cowardly hound / When courage is needed, you're never around! / Those medals you wear on your moth-eaten chest / should be for bungling, in which you are best! / / So, Stop the pigeon, stop the pigeon, / Stop the pigeon, stop the pigeon, / Stop the pigeon, stop the pigeon / Stop the pigeon, how? / Nab him, jab him / tab him, grab him / stop that pigeon NOW!
- Dick Dastardly: So, Stop the pigeon, stop the pigeon, / Stop the pigeon, stop the pigeon, / Stop the pigeon, stop the pigeon / Stop the pigeon, how? / Nab him, jab him / tab him, grab him / stop that pigeon NOW!
- Dick Dastardly: You, Zilly, stop sneaking, you don't have a chance / For you return by the seat of your pants! / And you, Klunk, build me a thingumabob / That catches that pigeon, or I'll lose my job!
- Dick Dastardly: So, Stop the pigeon, stop the pigeon, / Stop the pigeon, stop the pigeon, / Stop the pigeon, stop the pigeon / Stop the pigeon, how? / Nab him, jab him / tab him, grab him / stop that pigeon NOW!
- Dick Dastardly: Wake up, Muttley! You're dreaming again! / You're not Robin Hood, and you're not Gunga Din! / You're not a brave knight, or a king that's been crowned / You're just plain old Muttley, the snickering hound!