Danger: Diabolik!

What's the matter with you people? Doesn't anyone enjoy a good, fun, cheesy Italian spy flick anymore? These are the same people who don't like Godzilla films because they can't get over the low-budget special effect and the "silliness", and who can't tolerate anything different than mega-budget hollywood blockbusters, and that just breaks my heart. I kind of enjoyed seeing it on MST3K, but I was dissappointed that they included it in the same league as the truly awful (but no les enjoyable) Hobgoblins and Space Mutiny. This is one of the great 60s films as far as i'm concerned. What really sets the films apart is stylish cinematography and direction by the great, sadly underappreciated Mario Bava, also responsible for great films like Black Sabbath, Planet of the Vampires, Bay of Blood, Lisa and the Devil, and the gritty, cynical Rabid Dogs, which was a real surprise after Diabolik. (Even if you hated Diabolik, you owe it to yourself to track down a copy of Rabid Dogs). Also noteworthy is the psychedelica-tinged score by the great Ennio Morricone, my favorite film composer.

Unbelievable! The majority of comment-authors here on this site haven't got the slightest clue how far the brilliance of this film reaches...Here you have one of the coolest, most ingenious productions ever, and they're calling it "awful" and an ideal climax for the Mystery Science Theater?!? Aren't there any people left who appreciate sweet pop art? Or a healthy dose of delightful kitsch? Danger: Diabolik is a cult masterpiece and part of the greatest achievements of the brilliant director Mario Bava (or God, like I tend to call him). Bava easily is one of the most diverse directors who ever lived and delivered horror classics, solid thrillers, old-fashioned westerns and ... Danger Diabolik! A film that can't possibly be categorized entirely. Pivot figures are a young, vital couple of criminal masterminds. They steal from innocent people as well as from dangerous maffiosi, while killing innocent bystanders. Our funky couple single-handedly takes away billions that belong to the government, and then cheerfully retire in their underground lair in order to make love on top of a pile of money! It comes this far that the police cooperates with the entire gangster-network in order to finally arrest them...but our hero always is multiple steps ahead of them. Danger Diabolik introduces more kinky gadgets than 20 James Bond films ever could and the amount of creativity in just endless. The used scenery and experimental cinemathograpy mark this film with an undeniable cult-status that even impressed Mike Myers! Just compare this film with the Austin Powers trilogy!! Add to this a dazzling soundtrack and a ravishing siren (Marisa Mell) and you've got yourself an intolerably misunderstood cinema milestone. If you're a tiny bit open-minded and/or a bit less prejudiced on non-American films, you just HAVE TO see Danger: Diabolik.

I think there may be some misunderstandings going on here, re: the MST3K coverage of "Diabolik". Any fan of the MST series who followed the creators' commentary and blogs on the Sci-Fi channel website and via their newsletters, etc, knows that the Best Brains crew really ENJOYED "Diabolik" and saved it for their last episode as sort of a going away present for themselves. And anyone who paid attention to the way Mike and the 'Bots riffed through the movie would know that most of their comments were pretty good-natured, and mostly about the sheer silliness of the proceedings.

Certainly, "Diabolik" is head and shoulders over typical MST3K fare. Only "Marooned/"Space Travelers","Squirm", "Hercules", and the Russian Finnish trilogy come close to it in terms of actors, budget, energy, set design and general competence and ingenuity. Oh, and the black-and-white German TV staging of "Hamlet". (Even "starchy, pork-filled German Hamlet" is still "Hamlet", and it does have Maximillian Schell).

While the movie is (purposefully) lighter than cotton candy, and not meant to be taken at all seriously, it does do a great job of adapting the essence of the Italian comics anti-hero to the big screen. At a couple points, the Bava even has pencil graphics from the series integrated in stop motion into a couple scenes as a tribute to the feel and atmosphere of the "Diabolik" comics. They got the costume right, they got the hot blonde babe right, and they even had the audacity to try to pull off some of the gimmicks and plot devices typical of the series (much easier to do for an artist with a pencil and a drawing board than a stage and special effects crew!) And the whole thing is kept cooking and perking along with an incredibly insistent soundtrack that is built around catchy motifs that sink their hooks into the brain.

People don't really "act" in a film like this. Instead they invest energy inhabiting the cardboard characters who populate the film and trying to bring them to life. But Law and his hot blonde paramour do a splendid job of being magnetic and compelling (in a very clichéd, two-dimensional way, of course) and are fun to watch and they run around pulling heists, duping the law, making love atop piles of money, casually murdering everyone who gets in their way, etc. Even the supporting characters (the Inspector and the chief mob guy, recognizable as "Blofeld" from the early 007 movies) are fine and perform their thankless roles as Diabolik's dupes admirably.

It's not like anyone who ever heard of "Diabolik" didn't know what to expect. And it's not like anyone who spent more than 30 seconds watching it with an open mind wouldn't find plenty to enjoy as a harmless piece of escapist fluff. So I can't quite see the harsh reception and bad comments on the movie.

I rate it 7 out of 10, since I refuse to penalize it for dated pop culture references or the questionable morality of the source material. If I even find the 'straight' version on DVD somewhere for under $7, I might pick it up for my collection, especially if there are some background extras.

Watching the featurette that accompanies this DVD did help me to appreciate this movie more. Namely, that Diabolik (pronounced Dee-abolik in the Italian) is an anti-hero thief rather than a government sponsored spy and is all about 'sticking it to The Man' as befits the 1960s counterculture. Being Italian, it also contrasts with the American idea of a superhero. The Italians lost the last war, they had Mussolini and no faith in the government. This anti-hero is on the same page, whereas Superman is all in favour of the President. I suppose this is the superhero's answer to Burlesconi.

Point no 2: unlike Fleming's James Bond, Diabolik is based on a comic strip hero and many of the shots mirror that panel shape in the way they're framed: the shot of the couple talking, reflected in the rear view mirror of a car, for instance. For all that, the style is more dynamic than other comic-based films like Barbarella.

Otherwise, it's astonishing how many scenes anticipate similar ones in Bond films, from the opening helicopter car chase along the winding mountaintop road which predates that of The Spy Who Loved Me by nine years, along with other scenes that pop up in Moonraker, For Your Eyes Only, A View to A Kill and GoldenEye.

Sadly Diabolik (played by John Philip Law, who was the angel in Barberella) is a humourless blank, a charisma-free zone who scarcely utters a witticism in the entire film. I think the only reason such lusty or promiscuous attitudes prevailed in the 1960s is because the likes of Sean Connery and Michael Caine put a positive spin on it.

This is a guy in superhero guise who has no alter ego - and therefore no social life. Batman has Bruce Wayne, Superman has Clark Kent. He is just Diabolik and when he retreats to his lair to bang his bird, fine, but he doesn't actually have any mates at all so it's hard to connect with him. It's like if Superman decided to not bother to save lives but just went on Viking-like pillages once in a while, holing up in the Fortress of Solitude every so often to shag his mistress and count the cash.

The anti-hero and his girl are so unlikeable and ruthless that you do feel excluded from their activities. They remind me of the charmless pair from Topaki, though the film has more to offer than that and is superior to many Bond knock-offs of the day.

Austin Powers simply couldn't have existed without this film, an Italian production (produced by the estimable Dino De Laurentiis, who also brought us Barbarella, Amityville II: The Possession, Orca, the 1976 King Kong, and numerous other cheesy gems). With it's swingin' 60s sets, outfits and attitude, this movie (and Barbarella) is essential viewing for those curious about the origins of Austin Powers. In fact, this movie can be seen as a sort of companion piece to Barbarella, as it shares a very similar tone and look, as well as one of the stars, John Phillip Law. Yes, ladies and gentleman, it's Pygar, here without his wings and in tight black leather.

Unlike Barbarella, which comes off as far more cheesy than its makers intended, this one has its tongue firmly in cheek from the start, and never seems to lose control. Diabolik steals whatever the biggest loot around is, seemingly for the thrill of it, and the way it seems to enhance sex with his fabulous girlfriend Eva. They enjoy having sex on a spinning round bed with 10 million dollars in cash splayed all over it. I suppose I would, too, if anyone were ever to ask. They never do. Anyway, they perpetrate a number of crimes, making Scotland Yard look like fools in the process, and that's pretty much the movie.

The sets and costumes are--there's no other word--fabulous. And what really makes this movie fun is how freely the director will just stop everything to show how cool a set is, how outrageous an outfit is, whatever. He really shows how fun it would be to be Diabolik, and Diabolik himself seems to really enjoy what he does, which makes the film enjoyable for everyone.

The DVD for this film includes a Beastie Boys video that cleverly interweaves shots from the film with the boys playing Diabolik and various others, which is all based on a sequence from the film. There's also a documentary, which I didn't watch. Amazingly, the trailer gives away the very end of the movie! It's inexplicable.

Not much more to say about it. The plot is so simple you can very clearly follow it even with the movie on silent fast-forward, but the point is not so much the story as the look, clothes, and attitude. And it's got all of those in spades.

--- Check out my website on bad and cheesy movies, Cinema de Merde. Find the URL in my email address above.