5 pour l'enfer

If there were a subgenre of WWII movies that nonsensically blend pure spaghetti western action with circus athletes enlisted for special missions, this film would undoubtedly be a masterpiece. But alas, I fear such a subgenre doesn't exist, and this isn't just a poorly conceived and executed B-movie. The plot is as thick as two short planks, the dialogues seem written by someone who's never seen a decent movie in his life. Everything is pure caricature, except for the production team who took it very seriously. This isn't to say that good movies can't be made by remixing some of the ingredients used here, but of course, to do so, one must be a good chef, and they do exist...

While Germany worked furiously on secret weapons like the V-2 rocket and jet engines, America matched them with the invention of a portable trampoline and lead filled baseball. See machine gun nests knocked out by a gymnast that flies higher than the Luftwaffe! Exclaim as a GI takes out Nazis with sniper-like precision with a baseball! Gasp as Klaus Kinski acts like he always does in most any film... sleazy! This Italian made Dirty Dozen clone has its up and downs. For the most part it flows through as any low budget Italian WWII film. Expect inadvertent humor at times that are supposed to be serious and many flubs. Note that the movie is based around a collapsible trampoline and weighted baseball and the commandos that use them. Dancing commandos at that! Watch for the Fred Astaire like moves of the trampoline wielding commando that dances to the movies theme on the radio. Note that few woman can escape the fate that awaits theme in a scene with Klaus Kinski in any film. Almost as an apology to the general awfulness of this film the climax is actually well filmed and runs well as good WWII actions scenes. One of the more amusing Italian b-grade war films.

To watch this film is to follow five misfit American soldiers directly into hell, where they beat you up, take your wallet and abandon you.

In my WWII film and literature class, I show Five for Hell's opening credit sequence, which lasts about 15 minutes (pacing, people, pacing), as an example of war movie making at its worst. While the film is about a commando raid, the soundtrack is about a young woman who goes to Los Angeles to become a go-go dancer. Commander Baseball has clearly never thrown a ball in his life, but I guess that doesn't matter when you are going into combat against an army of Bond movie henchmen. Quite possibly a war crime, Five for Hell is a visual root canal.

I found 'Five For Hell' immensely enjoyable. I purchased it for .79 cents on amazon marketplace and anxiously awaited it's arrival. When I saw this film I was consuming large amounts of bourbon and I must say, this greatly increased the enjoyment of what is unfairly called 'The Worst film ever made" by the previous reviewer. If you are a fan of fun, guys on a mission type War films, which avoid dramatic elements, and are loaded with excellent action sequences; then 'Five For Hell' is just the ticket. This film is not high art by any means. And for the record it is done in the vein of most Italian Exploitation/Action/War flicks. Pick this baby up and stop off at your local liquor, gun store. I suggest bourbon and shotgun and at least 3,000 rounds of ammunition. I would also suggest Castellari's 'Ingolorious Bastards' if you find this film appealing.

HG

This Italian action/adventure set during the Second World War is essentially a riff on the then recent American smash hit The Dirty Dozen (1967). Its story is broadly similar where we have a specially selected group of five American soldiers being chosen to go behind enemy lines to steal some heavily guarded battle plans from a well-protected German stronghold. But the question you need to ask yourself is could that earlier Hollywood blockbuster have been improved with the inclusion of scenes involving its crack commandos jumping off mini trampolines, using baseballs as weaponry and indulging in extended tap dancing routines? Well, this is the film that essentially answers that particular question. I'm not going to give you the answer though as I think it's best a person decides for themselves on such matters.

This one features the go-to bad guy actor of the day, Klaus Kinski, in a role of a ruthless Nazi and the delectable Margaret Lee as a German double-agent. The five-man army, on the other hand, were decidedly less distinctive than this pair. The film itself is reasonably entertaining in a lots-of shooting kind of way but it is also very by-the-numbers too. The final assault on the German base drags somewhat until it becomes a machine gun fest. So I reckon it could have been a bit more interesting really but in fairness, like its title characters, it still gets the job done.