La Reine des Vikings

The Viking Queen is not an epic about the history of Romans in England. It is not a movie about romance (although there's a half-hearted attempt at it). This isn't, as the cover claims, a movie of action. Sit back, relax, and let your mind switch off. That's how to enjoy this film. In the inimitable style that brought us other pseudo-historical films, Hammer has ensured that our time and money is not wasted. It's certainly worth the wait to see the bladed chariot of death. Please don't try to praise this film, or even attempt to call it a classic. It's a joyful romp through the English countryside with an attractive blond, a wicked high priest, and a Machavellian second-in-command. Enjoy!

Ah, yes, let us now all take a moment and consider our debt to the fine British gentlemen of Hammer Films, who kept the 60s and 70s full of luridly colored historo-horror epics. Arguably, the essence of the Hammer style is 1,001 ways to nearly show naked breasts, and "The Viking Queen" is a high example of such. The queen of the title seems to be based on Bodicea, bloodthirsty queen of the Britons. Still, she is a Viking, even though she is supposedly British, and queen of the Druids, even though they all worship the Greek god Zeus. Whatever. Said queen is played by "International Beauty" Carita in a style so rigid that "wooden" doesn't even cover it. This was her only film--I believe she was actually a hairstylist and did Jane Fonda's astonishing do's in the Euro-Poe flick "Spirits of the Dead." Starring opposite her as her hot-panted, eyeliner-ed Roman love interest is Don Murray, a long way from Marilyn Monroe and the "Bus Stop."

Still, my favorite scene is where the British-Viking-Greek-Druids are sacrificing Romans to the fiery pit and there's this great awkward moment where some kind of assistant priest has to climb down from the big rock and stoke the fire for the next human sacrifice while all the other British-Viking-Greek-Druids stand waiting impatiently. I hate it when that happens.

Salina is the lovely daughter chosen by her dying Celtic father to succeed her as the royal ruler in Roman-occupied Britain, just after the time of Christ, because she would be the moderate one among his daughters--not too militant or to soft--she would have the best judgment in dealing with the Romans. This is immediately compromised because the Roman ruler Justinian (played by Don Murray) and she quickly fall in love. Her affections for him are partially stirred because issues involving Roman rule include religion, rites, and taxes, and Justinian is fairer than other less virtuous Romans in his orbit in being accommodating. The Celts also acknowledge the protection the Romans provide against bandits etc. However, the Celtic Druids will not allow the marriage of Salina and Justinian.

Trouble is instigated by the bad elements of the Romans and Celts--led by Roman honcho Octavian and Celtic merchants whose taxes have been raised while farmers with bad harvests have been given relief. This has been done to draw off Roman forces (including Justinian) from the seat of government and split them up to quell the scattered Celtic attacks, while the intrigues of Octavian and his schemers are orchestrated, and they turn the queen and her coterie against the Romans. (Note a principal Roman administrator is named Tiberian--do up the aura with those imperial nomenclatures.)

"The Viking Queen" has good visuals, and offers the viewer its attempt to portray the customs, dress, and Druid religious rites of the Celts. However, the title is a mystery--actually, maybe not--it is more dynamic than "Celtic Queen." Anyway, the women were sometimes dressed (or pictured) in ways just short of "revealing." The chief disappointment is the ending. Viewers want a certain type of ending in this type of movie, but it wasn't to be, and is a letdown as entertainment. However, recommended otherwise.

Hammer Studios are, of course, most famous for their Gothic horror films but like any independent studio worth its salt, it chipped in with movies of many other genres that were popular at the time. Sword and sandal flicks were one such sub-genre that was favoured in the 60's and that led Hammer to make The Viking Queen. Set in 1st century Britain, it involves machinations between three sets of inhabitants of those islands – the indigenous Iceni people, the ruling Romans and the Druids. The drama revolves around the queen of the Iceni and the Roman governor, who fall in love but whose relationship has dark consequences.

This movie is historically about as accurate as Hammer's earlier One Million Years B.C. in which dinosaurs co-existed with well-groomed cave people. In this one we have a Viking queen - a few hundred years out and in the wrong country - lead the Iceni people – who were from a completely different part of the country - while the druids seem to worship Roman gods! But the film is hilariously unconcerned with such matters so neither should you be. And to be fair, if you roll with it this is a pretty successfully entertaining bit of hokum. The Viking Queen herself is played by a Finnish actress called Carita, her heavy accent makes her somewhat strange as the leader of the Britons but she has the requisite beauty that puts her into the same bracket as several other Hammer heroines. Like is normal for Hammer too, there are some pretty good character actors underpinning things, including Andrew Keir as the nasty Roman Octavian and Patrick Troughton as the progressively minded Briton, Tristam. Also, like Hammer, the film looks really handsome despite its low budget. The locations look great and the sets and costumes are all nice also. There's some salacious material included too to enliven things further such as a human sacrifice ceremony and a violent assault on the Iceni village by the rampaging Romans. It might all be nonsense but its pretty good nonsense.

Although it has its quirks and is horribly mis-named (the Vikings entered the European scene 700 years after the movie's setting), this movie is a fun and engaging look at a much-overlooked historical stage. Some disbelief-suspension is required (the title character's accent, for example), but historical-fiction fans should find this film quite entertaining. While the costumes and characters (e.g. the sensational depiction of the Druids) might not be 100% believable, the plotline and settings more than make up for it. As a fan of both the old Hammer style and of Roman history, I was quite engrossed. I just wish they'd called it "Queen of the Celts"!