Five Golden Dragons

There are four golden reasons to watch this lightweight comedy- thriller from B-movie programmer king Harry Alan Towers alias Peter Welbeck. 1) the on-location photography of 1960s Hong Kong 2) Margaret Lee who also sings "Five Golden Dragons," a good little tune 3) Maria Rohm 4) Maria Perschy. If not for the latter three, I'd have turned off this movie after 20 minutes. I can't see any reason to actually buy the DVD if you've seen it on TV or Amazon Prime.

Affable Bob Cummings basically plays his TV character from "Love That Bob." Evasive, easy-going, constantly chattering small talk, nervous, clumsy and too-cool-for-school, Bob overdoes wiping his face with a handkerchief in the second half. I don't know what that was all about. An endless stream of beefy Chinese thugs in matching Polo shirts chase him around Hong Kong but can't kill him but they do kill off one of the cast sleeping in his hotel bedroom, while he's on the couch snoozing. The rest of the cast in small roles is a Who's Who of movie legends, well-known faces and international actors.

Bob was lucky not to have any scenes directly opposite mad man Klaus Kinski, unusually subdued here. It has the same kind of fun-B movie time-killing, ambiance as another Towers production, Bang! Bang! You're Dead! (Our Man in Marrakesh) with Tony Randall who supposedly turned down the Cummings role. Towers had a yen for these Sax Rohmer/Edgar Wallace-style films in the 1960s, ultimately producing and writing over 100 films during his lifetime, adding production value with exotic locations like Beirut and Hong Kong. The editing of the night club performances by Lee and Yukari Ito is poor, interrupting their singing for some meaningless cut-away and then back again to the singers.

I'm sure that Bob Cummings and the guest stars who played the Golden Dragons must have looked forward to a nice trip to Hong Kong as the main reason for signing on for this film. In the case of George Raft his troubles with the IRS are well documented. It's as good a reason as any to appear in this dragging film.

Five Men who are the Golden Dragons are operators apparently on both sides of the law and unknown to each other they meet in Hong Kong to dissolve a successful partnership and split their accumulated loot. They wear these silly dragon masks and have a key that opens a lock for admission. If they're not a dragon, they got shot with a turn of said lock.

Four of them make it, Dan Duryea, George Raft, Christopher Lee, and Brian Donlevy. The fifth doesn't show up, he's been eliminated. They can't start without him.

In the meantime kind of like Cary Grant was sucked into some espionage plot in an infinitely better film, North By Northwest, Bob Cummings gets involved in this whole business. He's an aging playboy in Hong Kong for some fun and frolic. Of course he's not what he seems.

Cummings tried to make light of the whole business. Everyone else mouthed the dialog with all the satisfaction of players whose salary checks have cleared.

All of you I'm sure have better memories of all the name players in the cast. Keep them.

"Five Golden Dragons" is a very odd film that was made at the Shaw Brothers Studio in Hong Kong. It's odd because although the studio is known for its martial arts movies, this one is a crime film jam-packed with over the hill American stars of the past. Bob Cummings stars in it but it also features Dan Duryea, George Raft and Brian Donlevy! Additionally, Christopher Lee is there...and like all but Cummings, he barely has a line in the film and spends much of the movie wearing a silly golden dragon mask!

Cummings plays an American businessman, Bob Mitchell, who is in Hong Kong on business. However, his path crosses a vicious gang run by the Golden Dragons syndicate and he spends much of the film running from these jerks....and, inexplicably, running from the police who are trying to save him!

The plot to this film quite often makes no sense. However, the location shooting looks nice and the film never really takes itself seriously, so it's still a decent time-passer...even if the notion of the older American actor somehow defeating crime lords!

Going into this, I knew not to expect too much from it (having watched any number of low-brow espionage fare from the era) but I was still disappointed by the way it wastes a star cast and is compromised besides by the fatal miscasting of the central role! Harry Alan Towers made several colorful thrillers during this time, often set against an exotic backdrop and filled with beautiful girls; oddly enough, then, he went and repeatedly shot himself in the foot by choosing a Hollywood veteran (read: way past his prime and usually forgotten) for leading man – I thought this practice had died with the British B-movies of the previous decade! In this case, we get Robert (sorry, Bob!) Cummings – introduced sunbathing near a pool! – who really must have thought he was appearing in a comedy, since he never takes the mayhem going on around him seriously (despite the constant threats to his own life)! The producer probably felt he had made a coup by securing the services of a two-time Alfred Hitchcock hero (albeit perhaps his lightest ever): on his part, the actor probably merely thanked his lucky stars he could still ogle gorgeous half-naked chicks at his age and, for better or worse, this turned out to be his final theatrical film!

Anyway, the titular figures are 5 powerful industrialists from different areas of the globe who join forces – without, however, knowing one another's identity! – intending to control the world's economy (or some such grandiose scheme obviously doomed to failure by the generally oblivious intervention of our happy-go-lucky hero!). When they finally appear, or rather 4 of them (as the fifth remains a mystery till the very end), they are supposed to justify the presence in the film of Dan Duryea, Brian Donlevy, George Raft and Christopher Lee – who subsequently do nothing but present themselves to one another (after removing their golden-dragon masks) while sitting at table and opening a box in front of them with one of two keys which, were they to adopt the wrong one, would end up shot dead! Convoluting this basic plot is the interaction between Dragon minion Klaus Kinski, a couple of sisters (Maria Perschy, who had fled from service with the Dragon conglomerate, and Maria Rohm, the producer/writer's wife), two vaguely antagonistic others involved in running a nightclub (the girl being "Euro-Cult" babe Margaret Lee), not forgetting the Shakespeare-quoting British Inspector stationed in Hong Kong (played by Rupert Davies) who, when he gets stuck or slips on the Act/Verse front, a local aide butts in half-mockingly (yeah right, like I know Confucius!).

Though the Widescreen print looks very good, it all goes for naught when one is never really drawn into the various intrigues, not due to its proving mystifying but rather because it is so sketchily-presented as to barely matter! Along the way, Cummings receives a cryptic note from a man killed by Kinski's henchman, is chased by the latter and his men along the river banks and later atop a temple (cue totally inappropriate cartoonish sounds accompanying the dull and protracted action itself!), framed for Perschy's murder and eventually sent, in the guise of No. 5 Dragon (pardon the lapse into Charlie Chan lingo!), to be eliminated himself at the climactic meeting of the charade-happy big-wigs! Like I said, very few of the stars are given anything substantial to do – of the Dragons, only Duryea gets to utter more than a few dumb lines; Kinski, too, is underused; as for the girls, Rohm's basic lack of experience is evident (this was only her third film), Perschy does what she can with the frightened-lady stereotype, whereas Lee sings and plays the sultry villainess adequately enough but, entering proceedings at the 45-minute mark and appearing thereafter only intermittently, it results in a 'too little too late' scenario!

Unlike the other reviewers, I think the main reason to watch this film, is Robert Cummings, who for some strange reason preferred to bill himself as 'Bob' in the later years of his career! Always a smooth operator on screen, and in my all time top 5 or 6 'comedy' actors, I feel he must have realized early on that he was involved in somewhat of a 'turkey', and decided, wisely I think, to play the whole thing tongue in cheek! No matter what else is, or isn't going on around him, Mr. Cummings himself is always fascinating to watch! And the girls are all gorgeous, and the scenery is nice! It's a pity Cummings couldn't have had a better vehicle for his big screen swansong, but I think the secret of enjoying this film is simply not to take anything seriously!