Maris en quête de sensations

"Commuter Husbands" is a tedious sexploitation romp. Ostensibly a comedy, I couldn't really detect any humour, and generally found the "stories", if you can really call them that, hard to follow.

Yes, this is an anthology film, featuring five stories that are supposedly something to do with "the battle of the sexes", or "husbands led astray", or, I don't know. They're an excuse to show skin.

The movie opens with a sexy and alluring "story teller", played by Gabrielle Drake, providing an unnecessary and awkward introduction, attempting to set the scene for five "stories" that really have nothing in common with each other besides nudity. Unfortunately, the beautiful Drake (sister of Nick!) keeps her clothes on.

The first one is about a cheating husband and wife who take their paramours to the same hotel. The husband and wife are both so ugly, I don't blame them for cheating. This story is told so badly I could barely work out what was going on.

Then there's a story about a plumber who gets called to fix a sauna at some kind of swingers' party. For some reason he can't seem to get laid, and really bad generic psychedelic music plays on the soundtrack.

Then there's one which isn't really a story that I could make out, but is merely this movie's rip off of "The Immoral Mr. Teas". You know what I mean: guy sees women out and about in random situations, then he imagines them naked. Rinse. Repeat. I didn't get any plot from this one, but that might be because it was so badly told, as all these stories are.

The last one involves a man who can see into his neighbour's apartment, and so watches them having sex. At one point, he accidentally puts his foot in the toilet.

Aside from sex, the one motif present through all these vignettes is the ugliness of the male leads. There's no Robin Askwith or even Barry Evans type here. They also look very awkward, and other reviews I have read suggest that this was intentional. If it was, the movie does absolutely nothing with it.

Being kind of weird guy, I don't really watch sex comedies for the sex, so of course I'm a big fan of 70's British sex comedies where you don't have to worry too much about any hot sex scenes getting in the way of the preposterous stories or the "comedy" (which is often pretty entertaining, but rarely for the reasons originally intended).This is a portmanteau sex comedy like "The Wife Swappers" or "Sex and the Other Woman". The subject here is the "battle between the sexes". In the first story an unfaithful husband and wife both take their respective lovers to the same hotel. In the second story a plumber does some work at the swank apartment of a French glamor actress and gets involved in a swinging party. This story, like a lot of British sex comedies of the era (i.e."Confessions of a Window Cleaner, "Adventures of a Taxi Driver)really caters to the fantasies of the male British working class (which apparently involved getting grease all over the bare boobs and butts of the kind of glamorous women they could never have in real life).The third story is a kind of throwaway fantasy about a guy imagining he is an outlaw biker and chasing naked woman around. The fourth story is about a peeping tom getting his comeuppance.

The stories are narrated by Gabrielle Drake. Like many actresses in these films, Drake was probably too talented for the genre, but she sure had the body for it. Unfortunately, you don't get to see much of it here (try "Au Pair Girls" instead). Ditto with Jane Cardew (who plays the husband's secretary/lover in the first story) and, most regrettably, Claire Gordon (who plays the French actress). Gordon played the luscious college girl in "Konga" who Michael Gough's evil professor literally goes ape for; however, she has little more than a cameo here. Famed smut director Derek Ford does manage to shoehorn in a quite few, pretty graphic sex scenes in the version I saw, but they all involve anonymous--and not always very attractive--actresses, and these scenes were no doubt shot after-the-fact to spice up the film for more liberal markets, since they were a little too racy for Britian at that time. As the other review mentioned, the gorgeous Nicola Austine appears in the motorcycle story--as usual with no lines and no clothes. Austine was not really an actress, but she became somewhat famous just for being in so MANY scenes in so MANY movies like this.

Derek Ford was one of the most notorious sex directors in Britain because he often shot his own additional footage for the "foreign version" of his films, which eventually would involve hardcore scenes as the 70's wore on. (Even by non-British standards the foreign version of his film "Sex Express" aka "Diversions" is considered one of the most disturbing porn films of the 70's). This film though is mostly just a lot of nonsense, but it does have marginal entertainment value.

Gorgeous glamour girl Gabrielle Drake smoulders sultrily in celebrated smut-lord Derek Ford's bawdy British comedy 'Commuter Husbands' (1972). See dynamite dishy, deliriously diligent Dollies take ALL their lengthy dictation and LIKE IT!!!! As these scintillatingly statuesque, sweetly sensuous shorthand sirens will ALWAYS put lead in your pencil!!! Insatiable at the office, or dutifully gettin' busy back home, these bountifully buxom, blithely boffing bunnies are ALWAYS on the job!!!! Cor!!! These sublimely sinful, majestically mini-skirted secretaries are a right handful!!!! And their Commuter Husbands frequently bite off more than they can screw!!!!! The incorrigible, recklessly ribald antics of generously proportioned super-starlets Jane Cardew and Gabrielle Drake in Derek Ford's dirty-minded, plentifully cheeky 'Commuter Husbands' are bound to put a brand-new kink in ya' grubby raincoat!!??

COMMUTER HUSBANDS is another skin flick from British director Derek Ford, who worked had to bring sex to the British screen in the 1970s. His big hit was THE WIFE SWAPPERS, so inevitably COMMUTER HUSBANDS follows the same trend of presenting an anthology of no less than six comic tales involving repressed Englishmen getting involved with a bevy of beautiful women.

The stories are a mixed bag, it has to be said, ranging from the brief and forgettable to the really rather good. The first tale about a husband and wife both having separate affairs who end up booking into the same hotel retreat is staid and obvious, lacking the kind of humour and simple fun of the other stories. Then there's one about a Peeping Tom and another about a biker chasing naked women around. The really decent story is the second one, with Dick Haydon playing a plumber who gets called to a posh Frenchwoman's home to sort out her pipes (fnar fnar). Once there he discovers all manner of sexual quirks going on and of course tries to get a piece of the action for himself. Haydon is hilarious and this segment is much like a proto CONFESSIONS OF A WINDOW CLEANER and a lot of fun.

Viewers looking for sex will be treated to lots of random couplings with non-actors which seem to have been inserted in order to spice up the running time. The genuinely beautiful actresses like Gabrielle Drake and Claire Gordon resolutely keep their kit on, even though they do appear in skimpy attire. Drake is the narrator of the piece and viewers who have seen her in this and AU PAIR GIRLS will realise she's a pretty talented actress as well as beautiful. COMMUTER HUSBANDS as a whole is a rather forgettable affair although fans of the era and the genre might well get a kick out of it.