Maison de rendez-vous

The first frames of the movie are of someone falling from the Eiffel Tower. Police arrive at the Eiffel Tower and chase someone up it, who then falls from the Eiffel Tower. At first, I wondered if this was a copycat, or a jumper who failed to kill himself the first time, ala The Tenant. No, it's the same guy and we're just seeing the same thing twice. And in fact, towards the end of the movie, it's seen again, since the movie jumps back further in time for the bulk of the story.

There's repetition in the movie with most of the kills, too. We'll see it once, then the footage is repeated with the screen tinted red, then again tinted blue, green, purple.... Odd choice.

So, after we see the figure fall from the Eiffel Tower for the second time, a Bogart-looking police inspector tells us "it all began the last day of Carnival." A thief steals some jewels, then sneaks his way into a brothel, where he is known and not very welcome. He meets up with his girlfriend, leaves, and it's discovered that one of the women has been killed. The emotionally disturbed thief is a pretty good suspect, and he's caught, tried and convicted pretty quickly. But did they get the right person or not?

For a movie set around a brothel, there's relatively little nudity, I thought. The women don't wear even very revealing outfits, though the ones they do wear are unusually fetching.

It's a pretty good movie. It's certainly helped by the good picture and sound quality on the DVD by Mondo Macabro, and by a good collection of extras. It's interesting how a movie can wind up with different scenes in different markets - they compiled the longest version they could, which evidently had never existed in that form anywhere. There are also two cut scenes, one with alternate dialog for the French version, and the other featuring a cut scene that was in pretty rough shape.

The whole movie, except for a few foreign-language scenes subtitled in English, has all English dialog. It's too bad they didn't add English subtitles or closed captions for the hearing impaired, which can be useful even for people who aren't. It might have been nice to have a full length-foreign language track, but this is nitpicking.

Wahey! I didn't expect this one to be as delightfully bonkers as it turned out, but then why did I expect it to be normal, knowing fine well that the police inspector in charge is played by a Humphrey Bogart impersonator, complete with mac and the constant presence of a cigarette?

Ol' fake Bogey is out to catch the killer of hooker Barbara Bouchet, beaten to death in a classy French brothel run by Anita Ekberg. At first it looks like her boyfriend did it, which would make sense as he was seemingly the last person with her, and was badly beating her up last time we saw Babs alive. Her boyfriend gets captured and sentenced to death during a court scene shown mostly in negative (?), curses all the witnesses to a violent death, escapes from prison, then accidentally decapitates himself while speeding on a motorbike. Saves wear and tear on the guillotine I guess!

Those relieved witnesses are not so relieved as someone starts bumping them off, starting with the beating to death of Anita Ekberg (in a weird, multi-coloured scene), but who would want these people dead? Is it singer Rosalba Neri? Her husband, Pepe? Pepe's lover, (I can't be bothered looking up her name)? What about the author who lives in the brothel, 'researching a book'? The judge seems to be involved too, as does his doctor mate who wants to operate on the boyfriend decapitated head. Gordon Mitchell also shows up for a quick cameo which has nothing to do with anything and is totally pointless. I think he was drunk and just wandered on set.

Upping the madness factor is your usual sleaze and some gore thrown in for good measure, and the killer's motivation for killing is remarkably tasteless, even for a film that's shown up two decapitations and a doctor cutting up what looks like a lamb's eyeball. I like my gialli short, daft, with plenty of sauce, so full marks to Bogey!

Wait – didn't the doctor's assistant say he saw the boyfriend's eyes move while examining his severed head? What was that all about? He was just told to shut up and not mention it again.

THE FRENCH SEX MURDERS (Ferdinando Merighi - Italy 1972).

Formerly, the usual UK title was THE BOGEY MAN AND THE FRENCH MURDERS. There's also a Greek video with the sleeve title, CALL GIRLS FOR INSPECTOR BOGART. The inspector is not named Bogart, nor does he get any call girls, but who cares? It's a title that sells.

There's a killer in Paris, a suicide from the Eiffel Tower, a brothel as the main setting, insane professors, an eye-ball thief, an inspector who looks like Humphrey Bogart (for no apparent reason), a truly creepy Anita Ekberg, and an impressive line-up of Euro-stars. How Dick Randall assembled this cast is beyond me, but he did it. Besides Anita Ekberg, there's Rosalba Neri (who even sings a song in a nightclub), Barbara Bouchet, Evelyn Kraft, Howard Vernon, and Robert Sacchi as inspector Pontaine or Humphrey Bogart. The title is pretty accurate. The murders take place during, before or after sex in a brothel in Paris. In between, the Bogey-man snoops around trying to track down the killer, but he is not too bright. You'll probably have figured it out long before he does.

The film's producer was American Dick Randall who took residence in Rome in the '60s but basically was wherever the deals where made, which meant Rome in the '60s, Bangkok and Hong Kong in the '70s and London in the '80s. Whilst residing in Italy, he payed close attention and decided to take a shot at the giallo as well, and produced this piece of cinematic soufflé. It's a perfect example of totally round the bend Euro-tosh, with a rather tame execution actually. The direction is not wildly imaginative, a workman's job at best, so don't expect outrageous Italian craftsmanship and style here, but some spicing-up in the editing by Bruno Mattei.

The special effects were done by future Oscar-winner Carlo Rambaldi of ET fame. I guess he learned a lot since this one. Of course, the presence of Robert Sacchi, among some other ingredients (mostly the cast) give this film a certain weird identity of its own. All together, it's pretty much a poor man's interpretation of an Italian Giallo.

The version on Mondo Macabro's DVD never existed in this form. From various copies, they assembled the longest version they could possibly paste together. There's an English audio-track, but a couple of scenes appear in Italian with subtitles.

Camera Obscura --- 5/10

Investigating a strange death in Paris, a police inspector finds that the main suspect's accidental death doesn't stop the body-count from stopping when more suspects are found dead and races to find the motive behind the strange deaths in finally find the killer.

This one here may have been a prototypical giallo but does have some minor flaws. The fact that this one does manage to play so close to the vest in the tropes of the giallo is where this one scores the most, as that keeps this one into the most watchable realms. This one does have a pretty intriguing story here about the use of the brothel and it's clients working throughout here which manages to offer up the kind of suspect list that makes true giallo fans envious at the sordid sleazy characters at play within the confines of the clientele, the fun of the slow revelation with all of their secrets and different connections to each other and the ensuing rampage across the different groups which really sets this going down more pronounced giallo tropes. Putting the familiar black- gloved killer to good use, these stalking scenes are the film's absolute best parts overall with the rather fun stalking scenes in play here with the thrilling stalking of the cheating boyfriend in the house with his lover, some fine stalking around the house where the killer strikes from behind in a great kill as well as a truly brutal triple-victim attack where the killer strikes in a house wiping out three different victims in different methods which is a rather enjoyable encounter overall. There's a lot of fun here with this series of stalking scenes which makes for a rather enjoyable time leading into the big chase at the end into the Eiffel Tower which is a rather thrilling ending helping along with the film's strong body-count. Along with a rather fun motorcycle chase and a copious amount of nudity, there's plenty to like here. Still, there's some rather problematic areas here which does hold this back somewhat. The biggest problem here is the fact that there's just so little about the killer's motivations here even with it being a convention of the genre but here it doesn't really come up at all. There's a lot to like here about the revenge-from-beyond-the-grave plot, but there's little about the actual reason here for the killer and is absolutely lazy about giving one. Another problem here is the film's rather stumbling pace that doesn't really get any kind of momentum going in the middle segments after the fake-out death of the suspected killer, keeping it going on numerous bland tangents without featuring any kind of real investigations into the main plot. Though that makes for a big final half, there's a rather bland set-up to get there. The last problem here is the film's gimmick- filled scenes that don't really do much of anything for the film, using the film-negative set-up for the scenes of the kills or the victims in the different scenes throughout here, and it somewhat hinders this with some cheesy, low-budget feel. Beyond these, there's some rather good stuff to like here.

Rated R: Graphic Violence, Nudity, Language, sexual scenes and drug use.

Although this is definitely one of your lamer Italian gialli, like all gialli it has some points of interest. It has two different chase scenes involving the Eiffel Tower, just so you know (if the title doesn't clue you in) that it's set in Paris. It has an ironic scene where a condemned murderer is decapitated while fleeing police on a motorcycle. It has a strange scene where the police then turn over the disembodied head to a mad scientist, played by Jess Franco regular Howard Vernon, for him to conduct vague "experiments" on. And perhaps strangest of all it has a lead detective who is played by a Humphrey Bogart impersonator, which no one in the movie remarks on, but will have everyone at home scratching their head.

The plot involves the murder of a prostitute in a Paris brothel (run by early 60's sex symbol Anita Ekberg). It's blamed on a jealous client, but the lead detective ("Bogey")suspects otherwise. And when the murders continue after the suspect's ironic-if-he-were-actually-guilty demise, his suspicions are confirmed. The movie has all the standard giallo elements but it's directed without much flair. There's a lot of sex and female nudity (perhaps too much), but it doesn't involve the "name" actresses for the most part who are pretty much wasted in general. Barbara Bouchet is good as a bitchy prostitute but she is murdered before she can even strip out of her sexy red lingerie. Rosalba Neri has a brief nude scene but also a completely throwaway part as the condemned man's ex-wife. And Anita Ekberg, looking middle-aged and none to svelte, also has pretty phoned-in role that pales not just to her early sexy roles, but to the over-the-top trashy stuff she'd do later in movies like "Killer Nun".

Howard Vernon is about as good as he usually is in Franco movies, and as for the Bogart impersonator--well, nobody ever saw him again after this movie. I would definitely not recommend buying an overpriced DVD of this disappointing movie, but it might not be a total waste of 90 minutes of your life, especially if you're kind of a giallo completist like I am.