Arnold

Arnold is everything a black comedy should be! It has the all the cynicism and wit of a Gogol novel. Another terrific performance by the incomparable Roddy McDowell...if only I could find out where to buy one of his "shrink wrap suits" to send to all of my "favourite" people.

ARNOLD opens with the unholy matrimony of Karen (Stella Stevens) and the non-living, coffin-bound title character. Karen has "married" Arnold postmortem, per his request, in order to inherit his vast fortune.

It's revealed during the reading of the will, that Karen is the only person whom Arnold trusted. His other "friends" and relatives include his daffy sister, Hester (Elsa Lanchester); the ultra-slimy, Robert (Roddy McDowall); Evan (Farley Granger); and Evan's mysterious, faithful servant, Dybbi (Jamie Farr).

It's not long before these detestable people start perishing in twisted, terrible ways. As Constable Hooke (Bernard Fox) investigates, the question is: Is Arnold committing murder from beyond the grave?

Soaked in an atmosphere of hilarious gloom, and boasting classic devices such as secret passages, paintings with eyeholes, etc., ARNOLD is a fun horror / comedy with a truly macabre sensibility.

Expect nothing of a serious nature, and you should enjoy yourself...

Bing Crosby Productions (BCP for short) was kind of the Aaron Spelling studio of theatrical B-pics, (if that's not too redundant a comparison) when this was initially released. For an association with one of America's foremost crooners, the company turned out a pretty grisly roster of flicks, (apropos, I guess, in light of the Crosby family history that surfaced later.) Film buffs may recall WILLARD, its inescapable sequel BEN, TERROR IN THE WAX MUSEUM, "W," and of course ARNOLD, among BCP's more visible offerings.

Of the bunch, ARNOLD was definitely the most ghoulish fun. A who's who of well-preserved Hollyweird relics and die-hard character actors, it predated the slasher film onslaught that would overrun theaters later with its premise of not so much "whodunnit," but who would get it next and how.

Stella Stevens played a blushing, buxom bride about to make a most unusual deal with her much older hubby to be; an arrangement that is literally a lift from TALES OF THE CRYPT. The foxy former flight attendant has agreed to wed her betrothed...AFTER his death, in order to inherit his considerable millions. What's more, she's pledged to stay by his side and remain faithful only to him.

The combination funeral/wedding has got to be seen to be believed, complete with the weirdest serenade ever warbled by show tune chanteuse Shani Wallis. To complete the bizarro scene, Arnold even guides the proceedings through tape recordings, played in a machine installed in his coffin!

The whole thing takes on the air of a ninety minute game of "Clue" played in reverse, as greedy, grasping relatives and hangers-on are dispatched in the most gory and inventive ways possible for a dead guy to come up with. Amongst the suspects/victims are THE Elsa Lanchester, Roddy McDowall, Patric Knowles, Farley Granger, the witchy Ms. Wallis, who gets to sample some of the hottest "cold cream" on the market, Jamie Farr (yeah, Klinger from M*A*S*H himself,) and Victor Buono, in a hysterical cameo as the 'lucky' minister who gets to officiate at the nuptials.

Serving as the hysterically inept and definitely non-PC Greek chorus is Bernard Fox of HOGAN'S HEROES fame, (most recently seen in the Brendan Fraser MUMMY remake), as the bumbling inspector in charge of investigating the murders, while giving a running commentary on the action.

Most moviegoers found this a little too dark and gruesome to be a farcical romp, (little did they know that SCREAM was on the way about thirty years down the road), but it looks like a good time was had by all, and though it's somewhat dated, this '70's sendup is still worth a look, especially since all its stars are allowed to do what they did best. ARNOLD proves to be the liveliest dead guy who ever threw a family "bash," and one thing's for sure...you won't soon forget him!

Arnold may be the most active corpse in the history of movies (we're not talking about zombies here). There he is, lying in his casket throughout the movie, and yet his presence dominates the world of the living, and his sardonic smile makes him look pretty darn alive. This highly original horror comedy has a morbid sense of humor and will keep you guessing all the way, but ultimately has one twist too many, becoming excessively illogical by the end. It's still recommended, perhaps as a double feature with "Terror In The Wax Museum", another 1973 film by the same director, with many of the same stars, with even the same "they never set foot outside the studio" feeling. (**1/2)

I've noticed there aren't a lot of comments on this film, and for good reason. It's been burried in the annals of time, from that dark age where films where made before Direct to Video that were obviously prime candidates.

I managed to see the piece with my fiance last weekend on television as part of a run of 'bad movies'. We intended to go out to a show that night, but ended up caught up in the funny weirdness of the story, the sets, the acting, the whole mess, and couldn't leave. Each time we planned to get up to go, we remained seated, glued to the set, in awe of the bizzare feature. It was like some sort of perverse Estragon and Vladimir situation.

And if that isn't a recommendation, I don't know what is.

It's certainly no classic. It's a pretty lousy movie. The cheerful early seventies theme that opens the feature ("How happy we'll be, together you and me... Arrrrnold, Arrrnold!") is played over the background of a funeral in an obviously small soundstage with styrafoam tombstones and the obligatory raven and fog, which is of course hillarious.

But it's a fun watch. No one in it thinks they're in a classic, and the whole situation gets quite laughable frequently. It's got enough aspects of a whodunit to be vaugly interesting.

Best points are probably the police constable commenting 'Now, is this place a cemetary because it's always foggy here, or is it always foggy here because it's a cemetary?' and the tapedeck in the coffin. Oyvey!

The only word for it is 'hypnotic'. You'll keep watching. You won't believe what you're seeing, yet you'll have to watch more.

In the words of the bobby "If I hadn't a seen it I wouldn'ta believed it!"