Dépêche-toi Sartana, je m'appelle Trinita!

This film begins with a man by the name of "Trinity" (Harry Baird) being released from a small-town jail for being wrongly accused of horse theft. As it turns out, the man who stole the horses was a white man with blonde hair and Trinity definitely doesn't fit that description. Not long after he is released, he subsequently meets up with a man named "Sartana" (Robert Widmark) who just happens to be the same person who stole the horses. Together they ride out to their next destination to rob a bank that just received a cashbox full of money. What they don't know is that a wealthy member of this town by the name of "Mr. Burton" (Stelio Candelli) has already devised a plan to steal this shipment and doesn't like it when these two men acquire the money first. So, to prevent a future theft from going awry, he hires the services of a gang of Mexican bandits led by "El Tigre" (Ezio Marano) to help him out. But as notorious as El Tigre might be, he has no idea of the abilities the two men he will have to face. Now, rather than reveal any more, I will just say that this was a rather haphazard Spaghetti Western which relied upon humor as a key element. Unfortunately, it doesn't quite work very well as the comedy wasn't very sharp at all. As a matter of fact, if not for the presence of two beautiful actresses like Beatrice Pellegrino (as Burton's wife "Maribel") and Daniela Giordano ("Martha") I would have rated this film even lower as they were the only bright spots to be found.

Ready for some cold spaghetti from the bottom of the pot? Despite being a good looking production, Trinity & Sartana is about as sophisticated as a Three Stooges short, only with fewer laughs, no chemistry from the two leads, and the worst spaghetti western score I've ever heard. Also, whoever designed "Sartana's" costume should be tarred and feathered.

Harry Baird, who plays Trinity (that's Trinity from Trinidad) and who's usually in better movies, heads a cast of familiar European faces in this typical tale of a couple of outlaws who find it easy to rob banks but hard to keep the money since Trinity (from Trinidad) keeps giving away the loot.

It's a testament to the popularity of the real Trinity and the real Sartana (and the real Django for that matter) that literally dozens of (mostly) dull movies came along to capitalize on them by attempting to trick unsuspecting moviegoers into watching inferior films.

This is a pretty silly movie. If this was in the Police Academy series of movies, it would be somewhere between Assignment Miami Beach (where they still made an effort to care about the series) and City Under Siege (the official F*** it, let's go make some cash sequel). The jokes are plentiful and plenti-awful, and the romance is super cheese.

This is still definitely a genre movie, however, and all the reasons to enjoy Spaghetti Westerns exist in this world, even if on a watered down level. There is one thing in particular that really makes this movie watching, however, and that is the crazy Parkour moves of the Sartana character! He's all over the place, extremely athletic, and makes the fights/escapes very entertaining.

Rating: 18/40

I watched this on an almost impossibly cropped version (starring 'ry Baird' and 'Rob Wid') with a metallic echo on the soundtrack for the entire running time, and I still kind of liked it. Trinity and his buddy Sartana (I think it's hinted that the real Sartana was his dad) set off to rob folks, have a punch, do some fancy shooting, and indulge in some banter. If your tolerance for Italian comedies is high, you'll get a kick out of this one. However, if you can't stand slapstick, I'd steer clear of this, because the film is full of it. There's even a Benny Hill, speeded up sequence, fake black eyes, and some hearty racist dialogue aimed at Trinity (who then kicks their heads in).

There's not much of a plot, just some crooks trying to get gold that our boys are after too. It's fairly fast paced and I didn't get bored once. It's also as daft as hell though, so be warned - this ain't no grim Western.

I wonder just how many people over the years, from its European theatrical release to its present place on public domain video, have found themselves swindled by this movie. Though the two main characters of this movie have the names "Trinity" and "Sartana", this movie has absolutely no connection to those two famous spaghetti film series. I knew that when I picked up this movie, but I thought I still might get some enjoyment out of it since I love spaghetti westerns.

But despite my love of spaghetti westerns, I found this one very painful to sit through. It's a somewhat comic spaghetti western, but I did not laugh or smile once. The humor is unimaginative and often falls on familiar slapstick. But what's worse is the story - there's no real story, it's mainly a series of vignettes with loose connections to each other. What's even worse about this is as the movie goes on, it makes less and less sense, so at the end I had no idea what the hell was going on.

If you must watch this, seek out a widescreen print. The pan-and-scan version frequently chops off important stuff from the sides of the image so that the movie makes even less sense.