Invasion of the Blood Farmers

INVASION OF THE BLOOD FARMERS deserves a 10 for the title alone. Unfortunately, as great a "bad" movie as it is, the film doesn't live up to its amazing title. There are some brilliant moments here and there that transcend cinematic reality or just plain reality but the film is too casual about everything and the fantastically brilliant "bad" moments are too far in-between to make this another PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE. There is some gore for gorehounds. There's a very goofy story and set-up for those who love unintentional comedies. There some really bad acting for those who love watching nobodies make fools of themselves. There's some nudity for those who need that in order to be entertained. The film also has a great "local" atmosphere to it that no movie made in Hollywood can recreate. And the ending has to be seen to be believed. But I wasn't amused by it as much as I expected to be with a film with such a sensational title. It's fun but you need to press the fast forward button from time to time.

Some evil cult are killing people and harvesting their blood to try and awake some stupid broad, I think. Invasion Of The Blood Farmers reminds me of two movies: I Drink Your Blood and The Crazies. Why I say this is based on how the movie was directed and the conception which involves blood cults and raving lunatics. Unfortunately, it's not as compelling as the movie tries desperately to be spontaneous and insane but ends up boring. Plus the acting was annoying as hell. It does have some bloody crap (PG my fat a··) and a few "so bad it's good" moments but it's not enough to salvage this film. Maybe worth watching once, I don't know.

In rural New York, fiendish farmers are abducting people and harvesting their blood! Have the dastardly druids of old returned to appease their gore-loving gods? Or, have aliens arrived to siphon the populace dry? Or, both?

Local scientists uncover blood that increases in volume, while bloodstains refuse to be cleaned up from the floor of the local saloon! Can science unlock the secrets of the INVASION OF THE BLOOD FARMERS?

Beware! If the sight of pink blood makes you ill, stay away! If fuzzy dogs turning into car wash buffers makes you retch, steer clear! If the thought of a man showering causes you intestinal distress, run away, now! If farmers frighten you, then, well, flee immediately! There are actual farmers in this film! In straw hats and overalls! With a barn!

IN ADDITION, THERE IS: #1- A bellowing scientist with flyaway hair! #2- A jiggling man, jabbering like he's being electrocuted and staked to an anthill, simultaneously! #3- A space hippie / druid, who speaks as though he's rehearsing for the play-within-a-play sequence in HAMLET! #4- A shirtless hillbilly with an ax! #5- A staggering drunk, staggering to his own theme song! #6- A sheriff who sounds an awful lot like Frosty The Snowman in a mob movie!

All this in a town where it's always broad daylight, even at night! And! So! Much! More!

A non-produced, misdirected, miraculous shambles! Hyper-schlock addicts rejoice aloud! Thy deliverance is at hand...

"Invasion of the Blood Farmers" is a B movie to treasure. It's overflowing with the kind of priceless ineptitude that makes movies like this so much damn fun. The acting, for the most part, is terrible, the dialogue is riotous, and the premise absolutely delicious.

It involves farmers who are also druids, harvesting the people of a rural area for their blood. Investigating the corpse of one person who managed to get away, scientist Roy Anderson (Norman Kelley) and his loyal student Don Tucker (Bruce Detrick) find that his blood is able to increase in amount on its own.

As they do their sleuthing, the Druid in Charge, Creton (Paul Craig Jennings) explains the whole motivation and plot just to make sure we get it.

This movie will stink up your joint something fierce; as co-written and directed by Ed Adlum, it provides laughs consistently enough to make it palatable for 77 minutes. The sound effects are appropriately disgusting, and the bargain basement gore is wonderful in its tackiness. Kelley is a gas in the lead, with fumbling support from Detrick, Tanna Hunter as his daughter Jenny, Richard Erickson as Sontag / Kinski, and Frank Iovieno as Police Chief Frank Spano. They're all "good", but Jennings, the one person in this whose acting borders on competent, is an utterly campy delight. The best exchange happens when Iovieno is interrogating Erickson; Erickson gives him a long winded, b.s. answer to a question, and Iovieno responds with a deadpan "Oh, okay, I think I understand". Sexy young Hunter and other ladies provide a little bit of eye candy.

Highly recommended to those cult movie fanatics who should have a great time enjoying it with beers and buddies.

Five out of 10.

I was compelled for quite a long time to watch Invasion of the Blood Farmers, which has been described as the "companion" to Shriek of the Mutilated (one of my favorite schlocky films). The same folks behind that masterpiece created this one. I finally caved in and bought the DVD. From the opening scene, where the victim is stumbling down the road looking like he's doing some strange dance while people in the bar (called the Huddle 2, no less!) make comments about him being loaded, I wasn't disappointed. Very similar to Shriek in many ways, unfortunately, down the to background music, which is by a composer named Bohuslav Martinu, I've learned. Great soundtrack, but this similarity kind of detracted a bit for me. But there are some great moments....and some familiar faces, for those who have seen Shriek! You'll see a lovable, kooky old professor and his protege that discover a blood sample that grows and looks like fizzy cherry soda! A freaky druid later sucks the blood from a dog...which suddenly becomes a white shaggy bathroom rug! Weirdo druids and their queen who rests in a plexiglass coffin! The bottom line, though, for me was that it wasn't quite as compelling as Shriek...the end, for example, was kind of lame and predictable. HOWEVER...if you are one of those who are into this kind of cheese-a-rama horror (which, for me, differs from those who are into slasher movies) you will enjoy.