Invasion of the Blood Farmers

A young couple run into a deadly rural Blood Cult. Oh, and let's not forget that there's a guy named Jim Carrey (yes, that's the characters name.)

Written and directed by the guys that gave you "Shreik of the Mutilated", "Invasion of the Blood Farmers" is one of those really bad but hilarious cheap independent horror movies that came before the likes of "Halloween" changed the way horror is done. Much like "Mutilated" and "The Corpse Grinders", you can't help but laugh at the proceedings.

The acting is bad (when is it not in these kinds of horror movies?), the cult wears garb that looks like something a Klansman would wear, the movie is rarely coherent, and yet, you never feel bored while you watch it. It's the kind of horror movie that is insanely bad, yet is bad in an enjoyable way.

Fun fact: There was a great Doom Metal band named "Blood Farmers" named after this (well, yeah), who are worth checking out.

In rural New York, fiendish farmers are abducting people and harvesting their blood! Have the dastardly druids of old returned to appease their gore-loving gods? Or, have aliens arrived to siphon the populace dry? Or, both?

Local scientists uncover blood that increases in volume, while bloodstains refuse to be cleaned up from the floor of the local saloon! Can science unlock the secrets of the INVASION OF THE BLOOD FARMERS?

Beware! If the sight of pink blood makes you ill, stay away! If fuzzy dogs turning into car wash buffers makes you retch, steer clear! If the thought of a man showering causes you intestinal distress, run away, now! If farmers frighten you, then, well, flee immediately! There are actual farmers in this film! In straw hats and overalls! With a barn!

IN ADDITION, THERE IS: #1- A bellowing scientist with flyaway hair! #2- A jiggling man, jabbering like he's being electrocuted and staked to an anthill, simultaneously! #3- A space hippie / druid, who speaks as though he's rehearsing for the play-within-a-play sequence in HAMLET! #4- A shirtless hillbilly with an ax! #5- A staggering drunk, staggering to his own theme song! #6- A sheriff who sounds an awful lot like Frosty The Snowman in a mob movie!

All this in a town where it's always broad daylight, even at night! And! So! Much! More!

A non-produced, misdirected, miraculous shambles! Hyper-schlock addicts rejoice aloud! Thy deliverance is at hand...

Invasion of the Blood Farmers holds a very special place in my heart since my father played Chief Spano. At various times in my life, I've been asked, "what is something we don't know about you?" I respond with, "I'm a movie star's daughter!" I know that's stretching it a bit but my father did star in a movie :) I realize that Invasion of the Blood Farmers is not an award-winning movie but you get what you pay for in life. The Adlums (producer) were our next-door neighbors and my father and other people from the block were recruited to star in the movie. My father worked for the telephone company so he was not hired for his acting talent! They even tried to get my Aunt to record her scream for the movie - but she refused. There was not much money spent on making the film - Jenny's house in the movie was the Adlum's home and "going on location" meant a five-minute ride into town (I frequently drive-by the motel where my father made a phone call in the movie (the phone booth was taken down a few years ago)).

Given the meager support it received, the movie exceeds my expectations. I know my father's performance was not Oscar-caliber, and I bet you won't find it hard to believe that this was his only film (although he was on Bowling-for-Dollars!). But I enjoy watching it every now and then, not because it has the best special effects or award-winning acting. But because it's simple - kind of like a child's artwork. It may not be a Picasso, but it is a pure reflection of them. Only a few of the actors were "professional" - most were just playing --> no visions of "getting discovered". How many films can we say that about these days?

Just a few more notes about my dad that you might find interesting -->

when the movie came out in the theater, my dad took my brothers and a few neighbor kids to see it. They all got in free because the clerk recognized my dad's deep voice from the movie!

we always complained to him about the glasses he wore in the movie (they're not his real ones).He told Eddie he didn't want to wear them but for whatever reason,Eddie wouldn't let him take them off.

In the late 80s, my dad found out that he had a "fan club" in California. Two friends who liked the movie called out of the blue and told him how much they liked the movie and that they scheduled viewings of it at their college. My dad sent them a signed picture for their Invasion of the Blood Farmers viewings and they sent my dad an annual birthday card for over 10 years.

Our favorite line of my dad's is "Oh, I think understand." (he's in Jenny's house talking to her father).

Finally, give my dad some credit on his last scene - I think he gave an Oscar-caliber performance of dying!

"Invasion of the Blood Farmers" is a B movie to treasure. It's overflowing with the kind of priceless ineptitude that makes movies like this so much damn fun. The acting, for the most part, is terrible, the dialogue is riotous, and the premise absolutely delicious.

It involves farmers who are also druids, harvesting the people of a rural area for their blood. Investigating the corpse of one person who managed to get away, scientist Roy Anderson (Norman Kelley) and his loyal student Don Tucker (Bruce Detrick) find that his blood is able to increase in amount on its own.

As they do their sleuthing, the Druid in Charge, Creton (Paul Craig Jennings) explains the whole motivation and plot just to make sure we get it.

This movie will stink up your joint something fierce; as co-written and directed by Ed Adlum, it provides laughs consistently enough to make it palatable for 77 minutes. The sound effects are appropriately disgusting, and the bargain basement gore is wonderful in its tackiness. Kelley is a gas in the lead, with fumbling support from Detrick, Tanna Hunter as his daughter Jenny, Richard Erickson as Sontag / Kinski, and Frank Iovieno as Police Chief Frank Spano. They're all "good", but Jennings, the one person in this whose acting borders on competent, is an utterly campy delight. The best exchange happens when Iovieno is interrogating Erickson; Erickson gives him a long winded, b.s. answer to a question, and Iovieno responds with a deadpan "Oh, okay, I think I understand". Sexy young Hunter and other ladies provide a little bit of eye candy.

Highly recommended to those cult movie fanatics who should have a great time enjoying it with beers and buddies.

Five out of 10.

Invasion of the Blood Farmers sure is a great title; shame that this trashy slice of '70s schlock doesn't live up to it. Written by Ed Adlum and Ed Kelleher, who also scripted the equally impressive sounding Shriek of the Mutilated (1974), IOTBF is nowhere near as much fun as it sounds, the wooden performances, clumsy direction (also by Adlum), dreadful editing, and dire script adding up to a rather painful 84 minutes of amateurish drivel.

The premise for the film is that a group of druids (known as the Sangroids) are abducting and killing people in their search for the blood-type that can revive their queen (Cynthia Fleming). Over the course of the movie, several victims are drained of their blood before the druids finally target pretty blonde Jenny Anderson (Tanna Hunter), daughter of scientist Roy Anderson (Norman Kelley); her blood turns out to be just the ticket, and it is up to fiancé Don Tucker (Bruce Detrick) to rescue his love from the druids before they can complete their ritual.

There is, admittedly, a little fun to be had from the film's sheer ineptitude: laughable scenes include Jim Carrey's tongue waggling death scene (no, not THAT Jim Carrey), the death of Jenny's dog Buster (the animal turns into a flokati rug as druid Agon kills it), and a rocky start for soon-to-be-dead newlyweds Mr. and Mrs. Greenman, hubby Milton opting to take a long shower rather than see to his young wife (Lucy Grant), who waits eagerly on the bed in sexy underwear. But as unintentionally funny as these moments are, they cannot adequately compensate for the lifelessness and shoddiness of everything else.