Werewolves on Wheels

If you watch B movies long enough, you'll learn that movies with goofy titles usually aren't very good at all, and this one is no exception. It plays like they only had a rough outline connecting a few scripted scenes, because a lot of the time the movie forgets the story and has the bikers basically goofing around until something bad happens. A low budget and clumsy camera work just add to the aura of shabbiness.

I can't completely dismiss it, because there are a few small but good touches here and there. Some of the music isn't bad, and there are also a few visuals (a gigantic flock of birds, desert landscapes) that do pop out and grab your eye. And there are also a few surreal sequences that do show that the filmmakers were not completely without imagination. But such moments are very few, and don't even get this movie up to the rank of movies to watch with fast-forward.

I have wanted to see this movie for YEARS, considering it has one of the greatest titles ever. What I was hoping for was bikers riding along in full wolfman makeup, like the poster suggests. What I got was hippies galavanting across a desert and two(I think its two, it might be just one) members of the crew change into wolf form within the last 2-3 minutes of the movie. I can't say that I think it's art, unless you can watch 'Manos, the Hands of Fate" and think that's art...attempted art, I suppose. To be clear, this movie is NOT as bad as Manos, as very few movies ever made are awful to that degree. Still, the title made me think I would enjoy this movie enthusiastically as it implies the kind of shlocky camp I find amusing and I came away incredibly disappointed...and bored.

This was a cool, funky little film, kind of an attempt to mix Easy Rider with any werewolf film. The Devils Advocates are a dirty, sleazy, nasty biker gang who live on the road, stopping only to sleep, drink and screw. When they stop one night at the foot of a Satanic Temple, and are offered food and drink by the monks, their life on the road gets a little weirder.

No, sadly, you really don't get to see hairy werewolves howling maniacally as they drive down dark highways illuminated by the full moon. What you do get is an attempt at artiness, as scenes are intercut with shots of black birds wheeling through the still air, a drugged girl dances naked before a fire as deranged monks deliver a spooky chant and a tarot reader displays talents more accurate than many I've seen in the movies. There's some absolutely hysterical additional dialogue and parts of the film almost have a documentary type feel to it. No, it's not the worlds most flawless film by any means, but it's better than a lot of the crap that was coming out around the same time. It has a realistic grittiness to it, yet at the same time possesses an ethereal atmosphere. It was just funky enough to impress me.

A biker gang, The Devil's Advocates, is driving desert roads, perhaps a little lost. At a resting spot, some hooded monks serve them wine and bread, and they pass out. The monks have some sort of satanic ritual with the girlfriend of the gang's leader, who they call the bride of Satan. She winds up dancing on a table nude, when the bikers come to, grabbing her, and beating up the monks.

They hit the road again, but something's wrong. Whenever they stop, some of their members die, apparently killed by wild beasts.

At one point, the movie almost seems like a parody of a classic Universal monster movie, when a wolfman is riding on a motorcycle (!) being chased by bikers on their motorcycles who are wielding torches. What, no pitchforks?

I saw this on an old videotape, full-frame. If it was shot in widescreen, I'm sure it looks better that way, what with the desert locations. Still, the visuals are pretty nice at times, as when the bikers disappear in a cloud of smoke and the camera quickly pulls back from a truck. There's also a neat old gas station, with old-fashioned glass-topped pumps that actually need to be *pumped* with a lever.

The instrumental guitar songs on the soundtrack are enjoyable. A real fuzzed-out rock sound.

To the extent that it's not all that good, hey at least it's not that long either. The ending is weird, but maybe it's supposed to be a little trippy, man!

Like it or not, Werewolves On Wheels is the undisputed best of the biker/werewolf sub-genre. A chillin' little B-movie, that is well aware that it is a B-movie, hence the title. You can really tell these guys had fun making this. We begin with a biker gang riding across country. These aren't just any bikers, they're The Devil's Advocates, so we already know they're mean mothers. In reality, The Devil's Advocates are a bunch of crude, obnoxious drug-addicts on motorcycles, who like to think they're in cahoots with the Devil, but lately, there is some kind of evil hovering over them. As luck would have it, there is a psychic in the group, so, you know that he'll shed some light on the situation so they can locate this evil, and kick its ass. They decide that a nearby satanic church is the root of their alleged problems, once they arrive, they're distracted by all the free wine from the satanic monks, which gives them the chance to place a curse on The Devil's Advocates. A curse that would leave, at least one of them a werewolf. Now, with all of this going on, the guys decide to take it to the desert, so they can clear their heads, and say their ooblah-dooblah's, but, not before kicking all the monk's asses. Now, among the wide-open freedom of the desert, The Devil's Advocates can get as drunk, high, and rowdy as they please. The only problem is, every time everyone passes out, someone gets torn to shreds. Who knows? Maybe the psychic can help matters. Probably not, though.

Werewolves on Wheels, above all, is a good old-fashion fun B-movie, without a lot of thought put into continuity, or script, for that matter. They just went out there and entertained the drive-in crowd that it was clearly intended for. True, they could have explained things a little better, and the killings could have been better/gorier, but the atmosphere, score, and of course, the cheesy entertainment value more than make up for the flaws. For a much better example of a werewolf movie, check out Ginger Snaps, and for a much better example of life in the desert, check out The Chooper. Werewolves On Wheels certainly isn't one of the all time greats in werewolf horror, but as far as the biker/werewolf sub genre goes, look no further, because Werewolves On Wheels is the measuring stick. 7/10