Up the Chastity Belt

The Queen of England gives birth to twins. In order to protect the blood line one is kept and the other hidden in a pig style and is raised to think it's mother is the pig. Lurkalot is the one raised by pigs who doesn't know his past. He makes a good living as a servant, selling chastity belts on the side. When his master's castle is lost to Sir Braggart de Bombast, Lurkalot must fight to protect his daughter, eventually travelling to the missions to bring back his master. On the mission he uncovers that his twin is Richard the Lionheart and he is of Royal stock and must bring them both back.

The story to this doesn't really matter as it is simply an excuse to hang a pile of crude jokes on. In fact most of the film seems to keep adding things just to keep the film going. The jokes are ok - but it relies on innuendo and crudity too much, whole scenes are devoted to jokes involving the Kama Sutra! I know that this is a film of it's time but there are far too many jokes that smack of not just sexism but also racist overtones.

Howerd is good here - he seems to enjoy the material a lot more than in the terrible Up the Front. True most of the jokes aren't funny but he does seem at ease with the material - but it's never anywhere near his best work. The rest of the cast is made up from the basement of British TV and have the horrible task of acting out this story as straightmen. The only other good role in the film is a cameo by a young Eartha Kitt - she is really sexy here and really beautiful, unfortunately she is only the catalyst for more dirty jokes.

Overall this is a disappointment - it's not as bad as some of his other films but it's a country mile from Howerd at his best. Quite good but not Howerd's best and it's humour has dated really badly.

This is one of those films that suffers from a predictable script. The actors all do well with the material they have been given but it's not the best to start with. Having said that there are a lot worse films out there, many of which are hyped with the Hollywood millions films like the 'Up' films never saw. The highlight for me has to be Hugh Paddick as Robin Hood basically reprising his Julian M LeStrange character from the radio show Round the Horne ("Hello I'm Julian and this is my friend Sandy"). With Frankie Howerd starring in a film produced by Ned Sherrin it was only ever going to be a very camp comedy but the result, while not wonderful, is better than average.

Forget about the trendy racist/sexist claims from bob the moo. Everyone and everything is stylized in the movie and it could just as easy be accused of being "kingist" "pigist" "jousterist" etc etc. There is nothing wrong with movie except that it lacks material and is a little boring. Howerd fans will enjoy seeing it. Others will have their curiosity satisfied. Some might find it right on the margin of being a waste of time. It is not as good as Up Pompeii.

The basic plot involves King Richard going off to the crusades, his brother John going to find him, and a servant who helps out the family budget with a chastity belt business, which comes in handy during the search for Richard.

Despite the title, the film would not have any trouble with the censors on the basis of sex or nudity.

This follow up to the filmed version of UP POMPEII sees the Frankie Howerd character (now named 'Lurkalot') transplanted to the medieval era, where he contends with chastity belts, scheming villains, the Crusades and a certain band of forest-dwelling Merry Men.

In other words, it's an excuse for more of the same, with Howerd making regular asides to the viewer and the comedy resembling a particularly smutty and diabolical entry in the CARRY ON series. The first thing that's noticeable is the paucity of the budget, which makes the film look even cheaper than the average episode of DOCTOR WHO and about on the same level as a school play.

The script is also shambolic, little more than a linked string of tired sketches that usually involve half-dressed women used as window dressing. Saying that, the cast is far better than you'd imagine, perhaps giving an inkling of the state of the British film industry during this era. Graham Crowden is delightful as the permanently sozzled Sir Coward de Custard, series regulars Lance Percival and Bill Fraser give it their best, and there are bit parts for Dave Prowse, Christopher Timothy, Frank Thornton, Sam Kydd and Roy Hudd. Watch out for a cameoing Eartha Kitt (on a sabbatical from Hollywood) and scene-stealing Hugh Paddick as the campest Robin Hood you ever will see.

I think this film is better than Frankie howerds first outing as Lurkio in "Up pompeii". as classic as that film was this one beats it in my opinion. It is rather slow in parts but with excellent character performances by Rita Webb and Hugh paddick and of course Frankie camping it up as Lurkalot ("because I do!") the film is saved as a British classic. lots of setbound filming gives it a special magical feel. This film was cut down from an amazing 3 hour original and Frankie himself wasn't happy with the end result but it has become a classic. Lurkalot, the medieval surf, tries to save his master in a series of funny events only to find out he is in fact the twin brother of King john himself of England (played by..you guessed it! Frankie!) Eartha Kitt makes a purrrfect appearance and the best scene is stolen by Hugh paddick as the campest robin Hood to grace our screens ever, but when Rita webb turns up as maid Marion ("your reputation has spread far and wide...and thats not the only thing by the look of it!") the laughs really begin (as they say) see it once at least its a corny classic!