'Necromania': A Tale of Weird Love!

I like bad movies. Some of my favorite films are really awful. This film is way beyond that. If you are an Ed Wood fan like myself this final chapter in the man's life is truly heartbreaking. "Necromania" was intended to be a dirty movie, it is certainly the most anti-erotic thing I have ever seen. Like most "erotic" films the plot seems like an afterthought. Something about a necromancer curing a guy of impotence?! The video released by SWV also includes footage from another Ed Wood nudie picture called "Flesh Feast". This one, starring Ed himself, is even worse; nothing but shameless exhibitionism. (Although Ed never takes off his boxers, thank God.) Apparently shot over the course of one day, we see Ed becoming increasingly drunk as the day goes on. Most telling line: "I can't make it! How much longer can this go on?" A very sad document. See it if you must, but don't even plan on getting any laughs, it's too pathetic.

Necromania (1971)

** (out of 4)

Danny and Shirley, a young couple suffering sexual problems, shows up at the house of Madame Heles (pronounced "Heals") in hopes that the witchdoctor can cure them. The problem is a rather hard on in the fact that Danny is having a problem rising to the occasion, which has left Shirley unsatisfied and gives her thoughts of ending the relationship. The Madame won't show up until midnight but thankfully there's a few other guests on hand who will try and tackle the hard job of saving the young couple.

Necromania was shot in the matter of days (if not one day) with the budget of $7,000. The film was shot in two versions, one hardcore version (54-minutes) as well as a softcore version (51-minutes), which is the one most people has seen thanks to various bootleg markets. The three minutes difference in running times is that of hardcore sex. We get a few money shots but there really isn't that much of a difference in the two. The soft version features mostly kissing and while I'm sure it would get an NC-17 rating today, it really isn't too graphic. This new uncut version does feature an extended ending as well as some more graphic sex.

I was fairly shocked to see how well this movie was directed. Yes, it doesn't take too much talent to film sex scenes but Wood actually keeps the film at a nice pace as well as keeps the so-called story going. We don't get any of the typical Wood craziness and the cast isn't nearly as bad as those in previous Wood films. For the most part this is just a sex film but thankfully we get some tasty Wood dialogue, which is a real hoot and again, the dialogue is actually good instead of the bad stuff that usually just makes us laugh at its dumbness. The girl has some wonderfully funny insult lines thrown at her boyfriend, which are quite clever in their own way.

Other interesting moments to Wood fans will be a short cameo by Criswell's coffin, which was previous used in Night of the Ghouls. Another charming moment is a small dedication from the director to his favorite star Bela Lugosi who has his name mentioned at the start of the film. Wood, being a huge fan of Lugosi makes a nice little turn to throw his name out there, which is nice to see. The sex scenes are not erotic but we do get some very funny dubbing, which never matches up to the lip movement. I won't get into graphic detail but while one woman has her mouth full, the words coming out is rather funny. Other funny moments include various sound effects used for laughs as well as a nice music score, which helps things move along.

Necromania isn't a classic Ed Wood film but I'm sure fans of the director will want to check it out. There's enough zany moments to keep Wood fans entertained and it's also interesting to note that the film is pretty well made considering this was probably the smallest budget Wood ever worked with and that's saying a lot.

My life isn't much better nor worse having watched Necromania, it simply is (maybe a little weirder, till I go to bed). This starts off promisingly as the couple comes into this Madam Heles establishment and gets settled in, with some of the terrifically hackneyed and sub-par/awfully delivered dialog and performances you want from Wood Jr, mostly from the sometimes snarky and sometimes hapless male lead.

However (having watched the XXX version), a lot of the movie is spent watching the other lovers at this Madam Heles (like Heels and also "Heels" natche). One particular highlight, in knowing who the filmmaker was, is seeing the one other male character screw and how he lasts about five or six seconds and picturing the director on set ala the Bride of the Monster Lobo scene from Ed Wood 94 ("No, no it's real... you know, in every day life, this would happen to him every day"), though that's my own personal amusement.

The mostly un-erotic sex (a couple of the ladies have fine curves) and an occasional line or moment where a drowsy woman gets to have a doozy of a line leads to a casket scene that finally brings somewhat to a head the horror of the title, and it all comes down the male lead getting it up at last... which would be more impactful if we didn't already see him have a jump in the hay like ten minutes before (!) Unless if that isn't the point and it's just about having a good time in a casket (courtesy if Criswell, seriously).

This ultimately is not all that memorable from this iconic director - having a 7 grand budget, which was pennies compared to even Monster or Plan 9 - and if it didn't have his reputation I'm sure it would have remained obscure if not lost. I guess I'm glad I could see it once and laugh a few times, but it is also a kind of quintessential rental choice from Kim's Video at Alamo, which is how I saw it, as it was special enough to check out but not anywhere near quality to own.

I saw the uncut version, and I must confirm that it is a sad experience. The movie I saw contains the rated scenes, including the successful sexual treatment that the witch gives to the protagonist, and that's where the movie abruptly ends. There's definitely more than kissing and licking to it than in the "clean" one. The lack of plot, the ridiculous soundtrack and the awful direction of the cast are the unmistakable Ed Wood's signature for this disaster. The difference from the past is due to the use of colours and the explicit sex scenes, but above all what's totally missing here is at least that genuine cinematic effort, that could be observed in the old movies like Bride of the Monster or Plan 9. See it only if you must, it is far from being entertaining under any point of view.

It is my sincere personal opinion that Ed Wood made some of the greatest, most imaginative, heartfelt and memorable films ever made. Ed was the original DIY filmmaker, and while he lacked technical skill, he more than made up for it with enthusiasm, plots, and especially dialog phoned in directly from Alpha Centauri.

Having said that, "Necromania" will only interest the already-converted Wood fan trying to fill in the gaps between the end of Ed's "official" filmography and the unfortunate end of his life. The casual or first-time Wood viewer should stay away from this one like the plague. For Wood fans, there are items of interest here, not least of which is Ed's (apparent) final appearance in a feature-length film. There are plot elements (and here I use the word "plot" in the most generous of senses) reminiscent of Ed's 50s classics, set pieces that recall (and may indeed have been used in) "Bride of the Monster" and "Plan 9", a way-out score, and echoes of the trademark Ed Wood dialog that to this day puts Hal Hartley and David Lynch to shame. There's also more than a little tragedy on display here; the truly sincere fan of Ed Wood (and there are about five of us) has to watch this hugely creative and tremendously life-loving soul in near total decay, ravaged by the wasting effects of too much alcohol and too little self-respect. One can't help but wish he had lived long enough to revel in the anti-hero status that was just a few years off. He would have taken the derision gleefully, knowing that somewhere out there, one viewer in a million would see his films and "get it." That's the one he was making movies for. Who knows, maybe it's you.

(Disclaimer: despite what is presented in "Necromania," there is no established scientific or medical evidence linking necromancy to increased male potency.)