'Necromania': A Tale of Weird Love!

This film was considered lost for many years, but eventually turned up in an abridged, 43-minute version (minus the hardcore scenes). The "plot" involves a young couple who try to persuade a female necromancer to help them resolve their sexual problems with witchcraft. Apparently the male partner is unable to get an erection (ironic in a film written by a guy named Wood). Porn star Rene Bond's false eyelashes are so thick, she goes through most of the film with her eyes actually closed. The film abounds with close-up shots of erect nipples and hairy crotches, but the sex scenes consist mostly of naked people licking each other's bellies and thighs, and moaning in ecstasy. There's quite a bit of lesbian action as well, as the unsatisfied females in the film resort to getting it on with each other. But I don't think anyone actually gets LAID in this film! The witch performs a ritual that involves rubbing a skull against her naughty bits, and at the end of the film, the impotent hero is stripped naked and forced to have sex with her in a coffin! The coffin was the same one Criswell used in Ed Wood's "NIGHT OF THE GHOULS" (1958). Ed Wood allegedly asked the famed 1950's horror host Vampira to play the part of the nude witch in the coffin scene, but she turned him down since at the time, she was wheelchair-bound, recovering from a stroke! The storyline in this film is so thin, it's hard to believe Ed Wood would even want to take credit for writing a piece of trash like this. While you might find the squirming crotch shots mesmerizing, this film is certainly NOT a good example of Ed Wood's scriptwriting ability. In fact, it might have been better if it had stayed lost.

It is my sincere personal opinion that Ed Wood made some of the greatest, most imaginative, heartfelt and memorable films ever made. Ed was the original DIY filmmaker, and while he lacked technical skill, he more than made up for it with enthusiasm, plots, and especially dialog phoned in directly from Alpha Centauri.

Having said that, "Necromania" will only interest the already-converted Wood fan trying to fill in the gaps between the end of Ed's "official" filmography and the unfortunate end of his life. The casual or first-time Wood viewer should stay away from this one like the plague. For Wood fans, there are items of interest here, not least of which is Ed's (apparent) final appearance in a feature-length film. There are plot elements (and here I use the word "plot" in the most generous of senses) reminiscent of Ed's 50s classics, set pieces that recall (and may indeed have been used in) "Bride of the Monster" and "Plan 9", a way-out score, and echoes of the trademark Ed Wood dialog that to this day puts Hal Hartley and David Lynch to shame. There's also more than a little tragedy on display here; the truly sincere fan of Ed Wood (and there are about five of us) has to watch this hugely creative and tremendously life-loving soul in near total decay, ravaged by the wasting effects of too much alcohol and too little self-respect. One can't help but wish he had lived long enough to revel in the anti-hero status that was just a few years off. He would have taken the derision gleefully, knowing that somewhere out there, one viewer in a million would see his films and "get it." That's the one he was making movies for. Who knows, maybe it's you.

(Disclaimer: despite what is presented in "Necromania," there is no established scientific or medical evidence linking necromancy to increased male potency.)

Necromania (1971)

** (out of 4)

Danny and Shirley, a young couple suffering sexual problems, shows up at the house of Madame Heles (pronounced "Heals") in hopes that the witchdoctor can cure them. The problem is a rather hard on in the fact that Danny is having a problem rising to the occasion, which has left Shirley unsatisfied and gives her thoughts of ending the relationship. The Madame won't show up until midnight but thankfully there's a few other guests on hand who will try and tackle the hard job of saving the young couple.

Necromania was shot in the matter of days (if not one day) with the budget of $7,000. The film was shot in two versions, one hardcore version (54-minutes) as well as a softcore version (51-minutes), which is the one most people has seen thanks to various bootleg markets. The three minutes difference in running times is that of hardcore sex. We get a few money shots but there really isn't that much of a difference in the two. The soft version features mostly kissing and while I'm sure it would get an NC-17 rating today, it really isn't too graphic. This new uncut version does feature an extended ending as well as some more graphic sex.

I was fairly shocked to see how well this movie was directed. Yes, it doesn't take too much talent to film sex scenes but Wood actually keeps the film at a nice pace as well as keeps the so-called story going. We don't get any of the typical Wood craziness and the cast isn't nearly as bad as those in previous Wood films. For the most part this is just a sex film but thankfully we get some tasty Wood dialogue, which is a real hoot and again, the dialogue is actually good instead of the bad stuff that usually just makes us laugh at its dumbness. The girl has some wonderfully funny insult lines thrown at her boyfriend, which are quite clever in their own way.

Other interesting moments to Wood fans will be a short cameo by Criswell's coffin, which was previous used in Night of the Ghouls. Another charming moment is a small dedication from the director to his favorite star Bela Lugosi who has his name mentioned at the start of the film. Wood, being a huge fan of Lugosi makes a nice little turn to throw his name out there, which is nice to see. The sex scenes are not erotic but we do get some very funny dubbing, which never matches up to the lip movement. I won't get into graphic detail but while one woman has her mouth full, the words coming out is rather funny. Other funny moments include various sound effects used for laughs as well as a nice music score, which helps things move along.

Necromania isn't a classic Ed Wood film but I'm sure fans of the director will want to check it out. There's enough zany moments to keep Wood fans entertained and it's also interesting to note that the film is pretty well made considering this was probably the smallest budget Wood ever worked with and that's saying a lot.

I saw the uncut version, and I must confirm that it is a sad experience. The movie I saw contains the rated scenes, including the successful sexual treatment that the witch gives to the protagonist, and that's where the movie abruptly ends. There's definitely more than kissing and licking to it than in the "clean" one. The lack of plot, the ridiculous soundtrack and the awful direction of the cast are the unmistakable Ed Wood's signature for this disaster. The difference from the past is due to the use of colours and the explicit sex scenes, but above all what's totally missing here is at least that genuine cinematic effort, that could be observed in the old movies like Bride of the Monster or Plan 9. See it only if you must, it is far from being entertaining under any point of view.

I found this movie outside of a Walmart at a tent sale back in 1995 or 1996.

It was the funniest movie I had ever seen, so I went back and bought all the copies up - $3.00 each. I gave away all of them as gifts except for one copy. One of them was given as a white elephant gift at a family Xmas get together, simply because I knew it was a really low budget movie, but it made me laugh every time I watched it. It's in a clamshell box - very cool.......if you haven't seen it - you are missing out! I loved seeing him run around in his underpants......and the props used in the house were cheap and gaudy. When I first saw this movie, I had no idea who Ed Wood was - it wasn't until years later that I read more about him and saw other movies. I am going to hunt up my copy of this movie right now and watch it again. I only wish I had it on DVD instead of VHS.