Bigfoot

When pilot, Joi Landis (Joi Lansing) has engine trouble, she's forced to parachute into the deep woods. Unbeknownst to Joi, she's landed in BIGFOOT country, and is quickly abducted by the creature.

Simultaneously, a bunch of bikers have arrived, looking for a place to party.

Oh dear!

A bikini-clad biker babe is nabbed by the beast, after she and her boyfriend disturb a yeti burial mound! We soon discover that there's a whole tribe of bigfoots -bigfeet?- and they're looking for love! Can the bikers, along with a local junk dealer named Jasper (John Carradine) rescue the women before the hairy horrors do the unthinkable?

THIS MOVIE CONTAINS: #1- Sex-starved sasquatches! #2- A biker called "Dum Dum"! #3- A lackadaisical bigfoot vs. Bear battle! #4- Ms. Lansing running around in her awesome outfit! #5- A forest ranger played by none other than intergalactic omni-star, Doodles Weaver! #6- Awe-inspiring bigfoot costumes (aka: men dressed as goggle-eyed piles of lint)! Toss in some twangy music, complete with bongo drums, and you know you're watching a divine spectacle!

EXTRA POINTS IF: You can count how many times Ms. Lansing screams her beautiful head off!...

BIGFOOT (1970) * (D: Robert F. Slatzer) Thank God for John Carradine, as he at least provides laughs as a southern hunter... but the rest of the movie is without value other than what he does/says next. Long, dead scenes pad out the 80+ minute running time.

One thing about the stories of Bigfoot...they never talk about a Mrs. Bigfoot and all the little Bigfoots. So, the brave makers of this masterpiece(?) decided to not only make the world's first Bigfoot film but answer that burning question about Bigfoot procreation. No...there's no lady Bigfoot...just some hot women the creatures have abducted to turn into their baby mommas!

While the film has plenty of scenes with various Bigfoots walking around in the wilderness, the film STILL manages to be rather dull. Even with the biker gang and a couple sexy ladies....dull. About the only reason to watch it is to laugh...and I only chuckled a few times. I also did enjoy seeing a few down *John Carradine, Ken Maynard and James Craig) and out or nearly famous folks (the Mitchums)...but not enough to merit watching this silly mess of a film.

And finally, if you think about it, the plot of "Bigfoot" is very, very similar to "King Kong"...but bad.

Classic 70's drive-in rubbish. Rubbish script, rubbish acting, rubbish costume, rubbish cinematography... and then there's Joi Lansing. Joi is what gets this movie a star...not for her acting though. She gets a star for being an absolutely delicious movie babe. They don't make 'em like Joi anymore...

Well, that was the quote on my video box by someone from THE POST. So, judging by that rather anonymous endorsement, I knew I was in for a real treat. Not to mention the box artwork, which features a large, vaguely ape-like creature tossing a motorcycle (yay! a hybrid biker/monster flick!) Toss in John Carradine, and the blurb "America's abominable snowman... breeds with anything!", and you've got yourself an epoch du frommage. The uncomfortably long (and silent) travelling scenes, the paper mache sets, the unbelievably bad bigfoot makeup(or shall I say BigFEET?), the dinner-theatre-style acting, wonderfully inane script - all a testiment to the ultra-low budget that this "classic" drive-in flick flaunts in spades. Demands repeated viewings.