Le Contrat

Okay the story is this: De Niro made some lame movie name around 1969 Sam's Song that never saw the light of day. Fast forward a few years (say around 1980) and De Niro is a star so some joker gets a hold of Sam's Song, recuts it, adds some footage and viola! The Swap was born! Which is probably even worse than Sam's Song.

So if you are a De Niro diehard, you have been warned. But hey, so was I and I saw it anyway.

I have only seen the 'Line of Fire' version of this film, and it was frankly just unbearable. The acting from Charnota is awfully wooden and the rubbish lines they churn out just get worse (eg. "it's written all over your face like egg"). However the film is intriguing as it's probably De Niro's worst film, but despite this it has an interesting look and setting to it. With it's bleak, porno filled and gritty American streets it's a perfect setting for De Niro, particularly as he goes on to embody such settings in Taxi Driver, Raging Bull or even Sleepers. Theres also a nice seen on the beach where De Niro acts out a film he saw, and it's intercut as De Niro plays the shooter and the victim. This act is again like an incarnation of De Niro's later action of pretending to shoot himself (in the mirror) in Taxi Driver. However despite my fumbling attempts to find some good points to the film, it is terrible and very hard to watch as it's so bad. De Niro in the film is the better of the cast and perhaps the original 'Sam's Song' version is better.

There are two sorts of people who should watch THE SWAP: people desperate for every minute of De Niro footage they can get, and fans of ultra-low-budget grade-Z schlock.

Although not quite in the class of such anti-classics as ROBOT MONSTER and PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE, this moronic little flick is certainly up there--er, down there--with travesties like MESA OF LOST WOMEN, THE SINISTER URGE, and THEY SAVED HITLER'S BRAIN (another "Frankenfilm" stitched together from an atrocious low-budget movie and even worse lower-budget new footage).

For a bad movie connoisseur, THE SWAP is well worth the few bucks you'll spend for the DVD.

Just to let you know: Sam's Song is in fact a finished movie. In my country you can buy a very cheap DVD release which is actually titled The Swap, but it does contain the full movie Sam's Song.

Not that you guys are missing out on anything if they only released The Swap in your country. Sam's Song is also a horrible movie which doesn't seem to have any kind of plot.

De Niro plays some kind of amateur screenwriter/director who is invited by a befriended couple to some big mansion for a party. He meets a girl there and most of the movie is basically De Niro and this girl falling in love (which is translated on screen as the two of them just running around on a beach and stuff like that). Maybe they did in fact run out of money at a certain point because there doesn't seem to be a real ending to this mess.

The dialogues are laughable most of the time, the scenes just seem to jump from one thing to another with no real meaning or purpose. And I couldn't call it acting either what those people on screen are doing.

I can only assume this was some lame and cheap attempt at making an arty farty movie but they failed miserably. Or maybe this "style" of movie was just popular in the sixties, because there's another De Niro movie out there (Greetings, which is in fact directed by Brian DePalma) that's just as bizar as this movie.

Maybe some real hardcore De Niro fans would appreciate to see some early De Niro work like Sam's Song, but I can say without a doubt that this is a strong contestant for the first place in my top 10 of worst movies of all time.

The revised title, "The Swap", introduces a certain amount of confusion. The viewer will spend the entire duration of this poor movie wondering what the producers are referring to as a "swap" and not come up with anything plausible. But where a neutral or bland lack of point to support the title would be bad enough, this production actively makes matters worse. This happens in the following way: one of the main characters (Ann) is portrayed by two actresses, one of whom is supposedly 10 years younger than the other. Infuriatingly, the younger actress looks nothing at all like the older actress, and the viewer is led to the FALSE conclusion that the character played by the older actress is an impostor, so that the "swap" concerns one person stealing another's identity. Nothing so interesting turns out to be the fact, of course, and nothing else turns up as a better candidate for the "swap." There are lots of GOOD movies to see; there's no reason to waste time with this one.