How to Commit Marriage

In the intended generation gap comedy, Bob Hope and Jackie Gleason play bickering not-quite-in-laws. I say "not-quite" because Gleason's son and Hope's daughter are cohabiting without benefit of matrimony.

Living in sin.

Shacking up, don't you know.

The kids have a baby out of wedlock and put it up for adoption so they can concentrate on performing in their Top Ten psychedelic rock group, The Comfortable Chair (Cue Cardinal Fang: "The COMFY CHAIR!?!") Hope and estranged wife Jane Wyman (whose real-life ex-husband was governor of California when this film was made) adopt the tot using fake identities and, after a round of 3 a.m. feedings, grudgingly reconcile.

Jackie discovers that Hope & Wyman have the grandchild, revealing the info during a golf match between Hope and a chimp. (You're ahead of me. Bob loses.) But Ol' Ski Nose solves everything by impersonating the youngsters' guru, a Maharishi-like religious leader, at a huge concert. In disguise, Bob tells the kids to forget nirvana and perfect happiness and get married instead. By the time everyone figures out who's who, the rock stars have their baby AND wedding rings, Bob and Jane are back together and the new house Bob just sold Jackie gets destroyed in a mudslide.

Even for a wacky 1960s comedy, the events in this movie defy logic: What adoption agency would instantly hand over a newborn to a decidedly over-the-hill couple? Wouldn't Hope and Wyman face prison sentences for using phony names to get the baby? And how could Jackie Gleason attract Tina "I Trained at the Actors Studio, But They're Going to Put 'She was Ginger on Gilligan's Island' On My Tombstone" Louise?

Hope's probably the LAST guy in Hollywood to have been defending monogamy, given his notorious unfaithfulness to wife Dolores over a seven-decade marriage, and it's doubly offensive that he spoofed an Eastern religious figure to do so. Imagine the justifiable outcry had he impersonated a priest or a rabbi.

Gleason's in decent form but is given little to do. HOW TO COMMIT MARRIAGE isn't as utterly bizarre as another Gleason '60s vehicle, SKIDOO (1968), but simply one of Hope's worst starring films -- a pity, because for around 25 years Hope WAS a legitimately great movie comedian. At least it's interesting to see Leslie Nielsen play the straight man in this film, and the young lovers are JoAnna Cameron (who set the hearts of seven-year-old boys aflutter as ISIS in the 1970s) and Tim Matheson (who, FIFTEEN years after this movie, would still be playing a collegian in UP THE CREEK).

I am not sure how I ended up witnessing this movie, most of it wasn't memorable, some drivel about Bob Hope wanting to get a divorce from Jane Wyman while at the same time imparting a conservative family-values mindset on his son (or was it his daughter?) who was betrothed to Jackie Gleason's daughter (or was it his son?). There's some sort of nonsense about a traveling psychedelic swami show coming to town and Hope impersonating the swami to try and lecture his young son on the importance of a proper marriage ... odd movie.

The centerpiece of the film is howlingly funny, however, as Jackie Gleason suckers Bob Hope into playing a game of golf against Mildred the Chimp for a wager. It's a sucker bet too, and Gleason doesn't even have to rig the game: Gladys humiliates Hope with a display of golf prowess that would have made Jack Nicklaus blush. For some reason I found it hyperventilatingly funny, having trouble breathing as Hope & Gleason decked out in polyester golf outfits find themselves upstaged by a monkey. Only in America.

Bob Hope and Jackie Gleason do spew a few really funny one liners, but the movie has the look and feel of a TV sitcom. Jane Wyman wears the same hairstyle here that she has had since the early 50's and I think she is still wearing it the same way! This movie is harmless fluff, but it is fun to watch Bob & Jackie insult each other. Many famous faces in this movie, Tina Louise, Tim Matheson, Joanna Cameron who later went on to the Saturday morning kids show "Shazaam & Isis". Maureen Arthur is quite funny as a big breasted client of Bob. After Jane gives her the once over staring at her cleavage, Maureen gets off the barb, "Well, it's nothing you couldn't buy"! Many fat jokes at Jackie's expense. Too bad the whole movie couldn't have been as funny as some of the jokes. Still, not as hard to watch as all the garbage they pass off as entertainment today! (Friends, Survivor, etc)

The daughter of Bob Hope and Jane Wyman and the son of Jackie Gleason are in love and ready to wed. What they don't know is Hope and Wyman are considering divorce. Gleason has some rather negative view on marriage in the first place. They find out and it shatters some illusions.

Since it's the Sixties, what to do but go live together. Of course with a blessed event arriving that does complicate things.

Now the young folks, Tim Matheson and JoAnna Cameron are presented as fairly intelligent people. So why anyone would listen to religious faker Irwin Corey and give the kid up for adoption is beyond me. But that's what the film asks you to believe.

Two of the funniest men of the last century were Bob Hope and Jackie Gleason. So why they got stuck with a mediocre story idea like this is beyond me. I can't believe that the two of them had they looked could have found a better story idea.

When a golf playing Marquis Chimp steals the film you know you've got trouble.

Amusingly salty farce brings Bob Hope and Jackie Gleason into the swinging 1960s--and just in time! Hope and Jane Wyman agree to end their stale marriage after 19 years, just as their daughter decides to drop out of college and join a rock group with her boyfriend. Turns out she's also pregnant, and has been persuaded to put her baby up for adoption by a (bribed) Indian guru, so Hope and Wyman conspire to adopt the child under the guise of an Irish couple (don't ask). Gleason is Hope's would-be in-law, a rock music promoter who holds a grudge against Bob for a years-old real estate transaction that ended up in the mud. Tatty-looking comedy (with unflattering hairstyles) stays afloat on some funny one-liners, but loses momentum during two pointless sequences: a golf match involving a chimpanzee and the slapstick finale, an endless dig at the Maharishi. Despite this, Hope, Gleason and Wyman (and Tina Louise as Gleason's main squeeze) manage bright performances, and director Norman Panama excels with a romantic fantasy scene and also the opening montage, a cynical jab at married life. **1/2 from ****