The Beatniks

If there's anyone out there expecting to see a film about the Fifties counterculture prototypes, skip this one by. Skip it by for that reason and on general principles.

The Beatniks is about a gang of punks who bully and rob people for kicks and one of them, Tony Travis is discovered in true Hollywood tradition in a roadside dive by an agent. He's got a decent singing voice and the agent promises to make him the next Elvis.

But our lug-nut of a hero instead of saying goodbye Daddy-O in true beatnik fashion, doesn't want to lose the old gang. And the old gang don't want to let him go. Especially Peter Breck, a twisted psycho with some gay leanings who's crushing out on Travis big time.

Despite this film where he gives an over the top performance like Jack Palance on amphetamines, Peter Breck was the only one in this no name cast to have anything resembling a career.

The Beatniks is a film without a lot going for it. This was one of those drive-in flicks which one could get down to serious business at the drive-in without missing anything of importance.

This has to be one of my favorite MST3K episodes of all time. And a reason why Paul Frees has stuck to animation and cartoon voice overs, since this was his first and last live action feature film he has ever done.

Though the movie is suppose to be a serious musical/crime drama, I sure laughed my head off over it, especially with Joel and the bots there to save it. It deals with an Elvis clone named Eddy Crane whom hits the top when a music agent and a sexy blond woman discovers his so-called "talents". However, his so-called "beatnik" friends want him to come back to him and stop singing, especially a nutcase named Mooney, whoms immortal lines were "One word outta you and I am gonna moon ya!" "MOON, YOU!". That part right there cracks me up.

And another thing, why did Paul Frees decided to call this movie "Beatniks"? It is a gang of juvenile deliquents (perhaps special ed rejects?) whom like to get into trouble. What was Paul Frees on when doing this?

Oh well, at least Frees learned his lesson here, while there are some much worse so-called "talents" whom have not.

First, a caveat: There are no actual beatniks in this film. Nary a beret or black turtleneck or bongo to be seen. As for the movie itself, to steal a line from Roger Ebert, "The Beatniks" is transcendently bad. It soars above ordinary badness as the eagle soars above the mosquito.

The plot is a common one of the era: kid from the wrong side of the tracks is spotted by a talent agent, but alas, his crazy friends ruin it all for him. To call the characters two-dimensional is an insult to planar surfaces. To call the plot threadbare is an insult to rags. To call ... Oh, never mind. You get the idea.

The entire production screams, "high school drama club project," though the actors playing the teens are a bit long in the tooth for the youth set, dig it? MST3000 had great fun with it, though, and thus it's worth a watch.

No Beatniks appear in this film, the acting by the young leads is execrable, the song lyrics are both insane and badly lip-synched, and the plot is dumb. As others have commented, radio and voice actor Paul Frees assembled quite a nice cast of fellow radio and voice actors to play the "normal" people in this tale of troubled youth, but he neglected to cast credible actors as the over-the-hill "teens" who hang around engaging in delinquent acts of senseless violence. I was quite pleased to see radio and voice actor Stanley Farrar on screen, and, like other comment writers i wonder whose rather nice voice actually sang the lame songs that the character Eddie was inexpertly mouthing along to, but all in all, this one is a loser. Having read all the reviews here, some folks will no doubt seek it out for its sheer badness. To them i say, "Come back later and tell us if it was really worth it!"

You take your chances with the Digiview flicks at the Wal-Mart Dollar DVD kiosk. Every once in a while you find a small gem. Paul Frees' The Beatniks is not one of them.

This is a grade Z, bottom-of-the-drive-in-bill waste of celluloid that deservedly got a MST3000 treatment. How does stuff like this get made? You could call the distributor, but most everyone involved in The Beatniks is probably dead and Digiview just scoops up cinematic flotsam and jetsam and puts in cheap disks for your viewing amazement. The trouble is it's simply so bad, so utterly inept that no one dare get mad at it.

All one can do is--if one is so inclined to sit still for 70+ minutes--watch in slack-jawed amazement at cinematic awfulness.

C'mon . . . it's only a buck!