Hercule et la reine de Lydie

Laughing heartily in the face of danger, Steve Reeves leads the way in Hercules: Unchained, a film about just how much tail you can get with a good beard. Okay, so there's a story about two sassy brothers' fight over a kingdom, a random encounter with the son of the Earth god and waters of forgetfulness... great. The real story here: oiled-up men in loincloths having their way with giggling servant girls. This movie jam packed with servant girls running from Herc and Ulysses down stairs, around corners and pretty much any direction that shows off the goods. As if that wasn't enough to get you totally pumped about this movie while cleaning the house... fake tigers! If you're a fan of fake tigers in fake tiger fights... you'll need to rent this one soon. Mostly though, its about the servant girls. 8 out of 10.

There was only one Hercules, and he wasn't from Mt. Olympus, he was from California, and his name was Steve! This movie proves it. Actually, it's a little better than his original flick, "Hercules". It's more polished, and has a little more action, but then, that's not saying much. It might have been exciting back in 1959 to see some guy pick up a tree, but the modern special effects fests have eclipsed it. Any kid interested in seeing fighting musclemen today wouldn't watch this, they'd be watching Smackdown or whatever it is. WWF. WWE. I don't know. Anyway, they'd rather see Rick Flair and John Cena insult each other.

But hey! I liked it, because I think Steve Reeves was cool! He looked the part with his beard. And he had some build, better than all the musclemen that followed, better than the bodybuilders today. This was his last good film. For all the others, he shaved off his beard and journeyed to strange places, like Russia and India. He should have stayed in ancient Greece.

If your a retro person, you would love this. I dig the retro dancing Greek island chicks. I dig the fake tigers. I dig the chariots, I dig Steve beating up the world's heavyweight champ. You might find other things to dig, so pay homage to old Steve Hercules Reeves himself. He might have been governor of California too.

This is the second Hercules flick featuring Steve Reeves as the man of muscle. The legendary Reeves melds with the god/man Hercules and turns what could have been a cheesefest into an action/adventure spectacle as tightly woven as Hercules' toga. Competing with Reeves for biggest chest is his umptuous co-star Sylvia Lopez as the evil Queen Omphale who makes living statues out of her conquests. Hercules' pals include Gabriele Antonini as Ulysses who gives the man of muscle a mighty rubdown and competes for Herc's attentions with his sexy wife Iole, played with sweet sassiness by beautiful Sylvia Koscina. With Hercules shirtless (and occasionally oiled) for most of the flick and his mini-toga riding up his thick manly thighs there's something for everybody to enjoy. Of special note is the dance of Queen Omphale's slave girls and Herc's wrestling match with real life Italian pro-wrestler, Primo Carnera. Keep an eye out for plentiful low camera angles.

Only a fool would curse a fairy tale because it narrates the actions of a witch. A good man has a strong enough heart to allow differences to flourish as long as people are allowed to live their lives in a peaceable manner.

That's the great lesson that underlines this film, otherwise silly and occasionally mawkish. I suppose that's why intelligent children have loved the Hercules myth ever since it could be recorded. Hercules is pretty dumb, but he's a nice guy with good intentions, the most important of which is to keep those who have let power corrupt them from bringing ruin to farmers and villagers and other peaceful working people.

Here he is threatened by three evil generals and an over-self-indulgent witch. The plot is partly based on the Hercules myth itself, but borrows freely from the Odyssey and from the Oedipus plays, with just a dash of the Argonauts legend tossed in briefly at the beginning.

Alright, so it's a mess. And the middle third is just outright dull as the witch grows to love her buffoonish captive.

Never mind. It's well-made for its time and place, colorful, and even occasionally lyrical. And some of the fight scenes retain their excitement, after all these years.

Perhaps best viewed - and understood - by children; but can provide real entertainment for intelligent adults in the right frame of mind.

This film is a nice sequel to Francisci's gem "Hercules," the film that launched a seven-year festival of swords, sandals, cloaks, daggers, musclemen, and gorgeous women in the Italian cinema. In this sequel, Mario Bava returns as the FX man, and dazzles us with an array of visual effects which impart to this film an almost Hollywood-like sensationalism. The problem is, there is too much of it! After the first 30 minutes or so, the stuff tired me, sheerly through the fact that my mind ceased to remain in the elevated state necessary to appreciate and "roll with" what the director wanted to achieve visually. So there were alternate periods of depression and elevation, although the film, when viewed as a whole, must be one of the most stunning sword-and-sandals of all time. In this respect, Pietro Francisci did well. However, I still prefer the first entry to this one.