- Ben Cartwright: You and your education.
- Adam Cartwright: Education is progress! Now what have you got against it?
- Ben Cartwright: I don't have anything against education - as long as it doesn't interfere with your thinking!
- [Hoss reluctantly agrees to serve as a temporary deputy sheriff]
- Deputy Sheriff: I'll swear you in. Do you?
- Eric 'Hoss' Cartwright: I do.
- Deputy Sheriff: You are.
- [running gag]
- Ben Cartwright: Hey, Joe, do you know the difference between a table and an ottoman?
- Joseph 'Little Joe' Cartwright: Sure I do.
- Ben Cartwright: Then take your feet off the table!
- [Hoss rolls his eyes]
- Eric 'Hoss' Cartwright: He'll never learn to do that.
- Adam Cartwright: Let's go back to the Ponderosa, Pa. This isn't any of our affair.
- Ben Cartwright: We can't ignore the rest of the world. We're the only stabilizing influence in the country.