- On-screen epilogue: This story is true - only the facts have been changed...
- Marley: We'll play you a request number. What'll it be?
- Dryden Philpot: Disgusting, revolting hoodlums.
- Marley: Well, I don't know if the boys know that one.
- Wesley Cavendish: She's majoring in Home Economics. How to run a big home with servants, things like that.
- Gene Vincent: [singing] Turn on the radio and leave on the light, I'll grab a little chick and we'll dance all night...
- John Abernathy III: Maybe you better show me where some of your weapons are. Come here.
- [kisses Lois]
- John Abernathy III: Man, if that's the opening shot, I'm in trouble.
- Gene Vincent: Why not dress him up in a cool set of shrubbery and some real classy threads and, you know, like one of those Greenwich Village characters on cloud 9.
- Gene Vincent: Now, hear me you double-R chicks, your old Daddy Vincent's come up with the find of the century. This bobcat's really got a sound that sends.
- Gene Vincent: [singing] Well, we're gonna do the chicken, a-gonna do the bop, A-gonna do the stroll and we're gonna do the hop, A-then while we're dancin', tell ya what I'm gonna do, Every now and then I'm gonna steal a kiss from you, And we'll dance in the street tonight...
- John Abernathy III: Man, she's square. She plays the oboe.
- Dave: No kidding.
- John Abernathy III: And sings Madrigals.
- Dave: Do you sing them? I thought you ate them!
- Earl McDaniel: What does it feel like to be famous?
- John Abernathy III: Man, it's wild. It's like I'm in orbit or somethin', just floatin' around, you know.
- John Abernathy III: You know, your voice has been called the hottest sound to come along in some time. How do you account for it?
- John Abernathy III: Well, first of all, I want to say that I agree with you. It's wild. It's a sound that I just can't explain. I just dig it up out of my diaphragm, it just shoots up here in my throat. I untie these vocal chords and it *leaps* right out there in space, Jack. I mean floats right out like gossamer wings. It's beautiful, Daddy. It swings.
- Mark: What'd they do? Search the place?
- Al Berrywhiff: Like they were lookin' for flies in a raisin pie.
- Anastasia Abernathy: You tried to raise the money by rocking and rolling. How perfectly...
- Abigail Abernathy: Delightful.
- Agatha: Idiotic.
- Anastasia Abernathy: And dangerous.
- Gene Vincent: [singing] Well, I've got a brand new lover, I love her, yes I do, She's my one and only, And her name is Baby Blue, Well now, baby, baby, baby, Baby, Baby Blue, Yeah, Baby, baby, baby, Baby, baby, Baby Blue-ooh...
- John Abernathy III: Baby, you better watch this from the sidelines, honey.
- Marley: You kidding? Make the scene.
- Dave: I'm still convinced the half-drive centrifugal blower will give better power thrust.
- Anastasia Abernathy: There he goes with that Hot Rod Esperanto.
- Marley: Dissect that mechanical genius and you'll find spark plugs in multiple cars.
- Anastasia Abernathy: And a super charger instead of a heart. Maybe he'd give me a tumble if I was a drag wagon.
- John Abernathy III: He just doesn't realize you're potential horsepower output, baby. That's all.
- Anastasia Abernathy: All it takes is the right fuel mixture and my RPM acts like crazy.