The Fat Spy

Let's not beat around the bush. This movie is terrible. Jack E. Leonard is just not funny. He's fat in a rather unpleasant-looking way, he tries too hard, and he's given nothing funny to do in playing TWO PARTS.

HOWEVER, for fans of the genuinely wrong-headed and insane, this movie has some appealing facets. The music is pretty doggone cool. The film begins very suddenly with two guys singing an acoustic rock number on a dock. Recorded live, they're just singing "People Sure Act Funny When They Get A Little Money", and it goes on for about 5 minutes and you don't know if it is part of the movie or what. It suddenly ends and shifts to a cool, cartoon mid-60s style of credits with a bouncy title tune.

Later the band, The Wild Ones, treat us to their song "The Turtle". It's the "slowest dance you'll ever do," replete with leering camera shots of the chicks in their skimpy suits writhing along. The song really rocks in an intense way. The lead girl character gets a song of her own, which would serve as a brilliant parody of Lesley Gore, if the filmmakers were smart enough. It is unbelievably catchy, but the basic theme is "I'm so glad I never get my way and you are a man, because you put me down the nicest way you can." On second thought, that's the actual chorus!

So these and a few other musical moments bring the movie to a level of disbelieving watchability. Fast forward through all the "comedy".

As a longtime resident of SW Florida, I had to watch this film after finding out it was filmed entirely in the city of Cape Coral, and showed parts of Cape Coral Gardens (known to local residents as The Rose Gardens - an abandoned water park that was a popular hangout for teens back in the late 70's/early 80's). The story is pretty incoherent, and as a previous reviewer put it, was basically a sales pitch for the city of Cape Coral. It looks like the majority of it was shot at the Cape Coral Yacht Club (the beach scenes anyway), with the remainder being Cape Coral Gardens (obvious sale pitch for the park at about 1 hour in), and the corner of Del Prado Boulevard and Cape Coral Parkway. Pretty low budget... The performances, as well as the music... just plain bizarre (though it was the '60's).

I rated this a "4" simply for the archival footage of the city I've known for 30 years. Of particular interest to local residents is a shot of the Iwo Jima statue - located originally at the entrance to Cape Coral Gardens, left abandoned when the park closed and long neglected for years... is the very same statue that now resides by Eco Park along Veteran's Memorial Parkway westbound from the Midpoint Bridge (one of the entrances to Cape Coral from the city of Fort Myers). And unbelievably...this film is available on DVD!

Truly abysmal beach 'comedy' featuring the fading glamour that was Jayne Mansfield.

I think I would be hard pushed to find a worse movie than this! The acting, direction, stock quality, music, sound recording and plot are all dreadful. The plot, or what little of it there is, has something to do with the fountain of youth on a small tropical island but will leave you bamboozled to say the least.

The only attraction here is Jayne Mansfield and it will only be fans of the actress that will want to get hold of this film. However, by now Jayne was on a downward spiral that would eventually lead to her tragic death. Never averse to making a quick B picture to bring in some cash and push her celebrity, things were by now in dire straits and this is well and truly a Z grade film made for next to nothing. Mansfield takes 50 steps backward here in her personal quest to be taken seriously as a dramatic actress. Her dumb blonde performance in this picture is an embarrassment to behold and her sex pot image is seriously on the wane as her famous curves have been filled by extra flesh.

A disaster in every sense of the word and a real shame to see someone with Jayne's obvious potential wasted in a load of old rubbish. It's hard to imagine that someone who appeared in the classic 'The Girl Can't Help It' and got the full Fox treatment is now doing Monroe rip-offs in nonsense such as this.

Steer clear...!

Not much. BUT, for a low (low, low, low) budget "beach party" film (set in Florida, for a change) there are *just* enough special moments to satisfy the truly curious. Those moments are all found in the musical numbers: Frank E Leonard croons to his long-lost love, cosmetics mogul Phyllis Diller, an amusing "love" song regarding Diller's supposed ugliness in "You Haven't Changed a Bit"....with lines like "the paper said that Peeping Tom was pulling down your shade.." Ironic, as Phyllis Diller looks quite good here. Jayne Mansfield portrays a chubby daddy's girl/bush pilot who is sent by her father (Brian Donlevy) to see what 'those kids' are up to, and in doing so meets up with her beloved (Frank E Leonard, in a second role). Jayne gets to sing one song, the charming "I'd Like To Be a Rose in Your Garden (But I'm Just a Thorn in Your Side)." In real life, Jayne is obviously pregnant (with her youngest child); in some scenes there was no attempt to conceal her growing belly. Maybe the intention was for her character to be plump? Other numbers include cast member Lauree Berger (a very appealing short-haired brunette who could easily have given Annette Funicello a run for her money) singing the weirdly upbeat but submissive ditty "You Put Me Down the Nicest Way You Can." Jordan Christopher and the Wild Ones appear as "the boys" and perform "The Turtle", a slow-moving dance -which is like nothing you'll ever see in the big-budget "beach" movies. However, none of these musical moments belong in the same film with the Jordan Christopher-Lauree Berger duet "Nanette", a dreamily beautiful melody that could have been a hit if it wasn't lost in this film. "The Fat Spy" succeeds in a few fragments -if not as a whole- and for that its worth a look.

What was everyone thinking when they signed on for this one?

The Fat Spy has just about everything wrong with it, actors not motivated to act, jokes that just fall flat, a plot that makes no sense, and Jack E. Leonard.

I remember Jack E. Leonard from many viewings of the Ed Sullivan show in the Fifties and Sixties. He was the Don Rickles of his day. A roly-poly comedian who made his bones in burlesque, Leonard specialized in insult comedy.

For some reason someone thought he'd be good to star in a feature film. So The Fat Spy was created and we got two Jack E. Leonards. They're playing brothers, one of whom is involved with Jayne Mansfield and the other with Phyllis Diller. Talk about differing tastes, that is the funniest thing about The Fat Spy.

No one ever asked Leonard to star in another film. Jayne Mansfield would make two more and then be tragically taken from us. Phyllis Diller was better served by her appearances with Bob Hope. Brian Donlevy is Jayne's father in this film and he calls her Junior. Donlevy has a look of pain throughout the film, wondering if his paycheck was going to clear the bank.

Anyway a group of treasure hunting teenagers on Brian Donlevy's private island look like they might discover the fabled Fountain of Youth rumored to be there. As Shaw says, "youth is wasted on the young" so the older generation wants to chase the kids off and get the secret of eternal youth for themselves.

Johnny Tillotson who is a fine singer and songwriter made his one and only appearance in film as a character. Acting was not among his talents, but he got to run off with a mermaid.

Pass this one by unless you want to hear Johnny Tillotson sing.