Muscle Beach Party

Despite it's title, "Muscle Beach Party" is a pretty weak entry in Beach Party series. This time around, Frankie, Annette and the gang battle with a group of Muscle men led by their trainer, Don Rickles. All the while, an Italian Countess is trying to steal Frankie from Annette. Unlike the others in the series, "Muscle Beach Party" seems to have an overall negative tone. Every character seems angry at somebody. Most of the film's good moments belong to Buddy Hackett. Harvey Lembeck as Eric Von Zipper isn't around this time and he is missed.

Maybe it's for the obvious reason - no Eric Von Zipper and his Rats and Mice, with the strange substitution of bodybuilders as the bad guys - but I think of this one as a slight step down from the others. (At least it had Alberta Nelson, in a different part.) Until reading the listing here, I never recognized Dan Haggerty, without the long hair and beard. I did recognize the bodybuilder named Larry Scott, thanks to countless comic book ads. This movie had Luciana Paluzzi as the heiress who collects men - the only small problem for me is that, I've always typecast that actress as a "femme fatale" of the physically dangerous kind (instead of that kind), because of the Bond movie Thunderball. One strange thing is that the Delores character hurls some mild anti-Italian remarks at that character - I know I'm talking about "Delores", not "Annette", but it's still strange to hear those lines from someone named Funicello. And of course this one goes for just a little seriousness, unlike the others - "Frankie" as a kept man! Maybe the best one-time character was Buddy Hackett's. And I couldn't say enough about Don Rickles, in any role.

"Frankie" (Frankie Avalon), "Dee Dee" (Annette Funicello") and the other characters who make up the surfer gang are back in this sequel to "Beach Party". Sharing the beach is a group of bodybuilders led by their trainer, "Jack Fanny" (Don Rickles) who has little regard for those who aren't part of his team. Also interested in a particular bodybuilder is an extremely rich and beautiful countess by the name of "Julie" (Luciana Paluzzi) who wants "Mr. Galaxy" (Peter Lupus) for her very own. Yet, just when she manages to buy the entire bodybuilding team she just happens to hear Frankie sing and everything suddenly changes as she quickly forgets all about Mr. Galaxy and falls madly in love with Frankie instead. But before Julie can get Frankie she has to first contend with Dee Dee. At any rate, rather than reveal any more of the story I will just say that this particular movie wasn't nearly as good as "Beach Party". For starters, other than the performances of Frankie, Annette, Luciana and possibly Buddie Hackett (as Julie's manager, "S.Z. Matts") there really wasn't anything that remarkable about this film. Clearly, the inordinate amount of time spent on "Candy" (Candy Johnson) didn't help in that regard as she didn't add anything new or different than her previous appearance. Personally, I would have preferred to have seen a bit more of Valera Noland (as "Animal") or a couple of other attractive ladies. But that's just my opinion. In any case, I rate the movie as slightly below average.

I wouldn't think you could go far wrong with both Don Rickles and Buddy Hackett, but I was mistaken. Rickles plays an unfunny coach who never gets any laughs while he works with a group of oily muscle men (that may be your thing; it's not mine). Hackett (whom I don't believe I've ever seen looking so trim and normal) is no more than the aide to a rich heiress (Luciana Paluzzi) who sets her sights on Frankie Avalon, much to the disapproval of his girl Annette Funicello. All the vignettes going on herein are disjointed and tiresome, and Candy Johnson (who reminds me of a young Polly Holiday from the ALICE TV series) isn't as alluring as she thinks she is when regularly shaking her booty and causing men to freeze-frame and fall off their surfboards... and not even having the indecency to wear a bikini while doing it. John Ashley is present too. Don't ask me what the point of having Morey Amsterdam in this mess was. Peter Lorre pops in for a short time in a humorous cameo, and at the end we get to enjoy the very young Little Stevie Wonder do his stuff, but it's not enough. It's not very often you can say the end credits sequence is the best thing about a film, but that was the case here. *1/2 out of ****

A tidal wave of a surprise here: Director William Asher, on hiatus from the television show "Bewitched," delivers a tightly packed surf romp. Very interesting twist: "Little" Stevie Wonder appears and sings two songs, one with surf-guitar guru, Dick Dale--and his Dell Tones. Cowabonga. And that's not all. Frankie Avalon is the hero and he smokes. And it's pot! (Watch closely for this.) Groovy. He also sings and swings with a bevy of beauties in Morey Amsterdam's coffee house. But the biggest surprise for me was the performance by Buddy Hackett. Controlled. Sympathetic. How many times have you left the living room screaming after viewing Hackett, sometimes wearing a god awful-looking Neru jacket and maybe appearing on "Hollywood Squares" or the "Tonight Show, talking some totally incomprehensible nonsense that he thinks is funny? Plenty. But here he plays his role straight and it pays off. And in spades, too. Wannabe Bond Girl Lucianna Paluzzi, always underrated in my opinion, is superb as the spoiled "Contessa." She nails the tiresome, hoary part with an effusive zest for life. Down on the beach, the enemy is massing for battle. The muscle men have a cranky leader in Don Rickles. He is clever and devious, but the strong men fall squarely into the "knucklehead" category. Strangely, one fellow resembles Kevin James from "King of Queens" on the boob tube. Donna Loren, always a joy and no relation to Sophia, wails the title tune. She has a soulful sound and a much better "clause" in her contract than superstar Annette Funichello. How else could you explain the fact that Loren doesn't have to sport a swimsuit? Funichello has to model a sexy, white mesh-bikini. So enjoy the sun and music. And away we go all you surfers and beach bunnies. Surf's up!