Maciste contre les hommes de pierre

Once again, the most frequently asked question in exploitation/cult cinema pops up: Who the hell comes up with stuff like this?!? Aliens from the moon, entirely made of rock and led by a robot-crossover between Darth Vader and C3PO, invade an ancient Greek community and force the people to sacrifice their children for no apparent reason! And, instead of moving out of the area, they blindly obey until they can't take it anymore and call for the help of Hercules. The over-muscled warrior hero arrives, eliminates the evil queen, kicks some alien-butt and falls in love with the local beauty. The end. In all honesty, this movie really isn't that bad. At least it's much better than most other entries in the seemly endless Hercules franchise. The movie only gets boring past the hour, due to the incredibly overlong sandstorm-climax, and you simply have to ignore the plot holes that have the size of a meteor. If you manage to look beyond the silliness, "Hercules against the Moon Men" is a harmless cult-quickie that offers some nice action-sequences and a handful of decent gimmicks. Alan Steel is an average Hercules – not as cool as Steve Reeves but definitely better than Peter Lupus & Mike Lane – and natural redhead Jany Clair is quite sexy as the malicious queen who made a pact with the alien leader. The supportive cast varies from mediocre to awful. I'd really like to see the MST3K-version of this film, as I heard and read some great things about it. Now, let's start wiping the sand out of my eyes.

While this film made a very funny episode of MST3K, I am reviewing the film itself, not the MST3k version.

Giacomo Gentilomo and other Italian directors of the 1950s and 1960s made Hercules the James Bond of classical times. Smart, impossible to defeat and always pure of heart, Herc always got the goods and the girl. Sergio Ciani (AKA Alan Steel) plays Hercules this time. A former stunt double for Steve Reeves, Ciani does as well with this role as any of his predecessors. It has been noted that Ciani was shorter than the other Hercs in the series. While this is apparent in the film, it's worth noting that he was a mere two inches shorter than the larger-than life Reeves.

I found this film to be much more entertaining and polished than it had a right to be. The directing, editing and cinematography were fine, and the only pacing disaster was the seemingly endless sand storm. the film's art design was superior to the rest of the series. It is not surprising that Director Gentilomo became a full-time professional fine artist shortly after making this film.

In Moon Men, Hercules must face the evil power of the moon and the supernatural creatures who came to earth on a meteorite and use human sacrifice to wield mysterious power. In addition, he has to face a powerful and power-hungry queen allied to these creatures and the evil influence of Uranus. As ridiculous as this plot is, it is, at least, creative, and offers some innovative opportunities for very different fight scenes, sets, and subplots. The script is about as straightforward as it gets, and the English dubbing is actually pretty good.

Silly, but harmless. An extra star for the costumes and creative use of effects.

Time for another Hercules adventure as he must battle the people of the moon! Only, it is not Hercules that is featured in this particular film, but rather a hero by the name of Maciste. In the 50's and 60's there were not only like 15 films featuring the Greek hero Hercules, but also like 15 films featuring this hero too! There is a whole lot of films featuring bearded heroes with super strength suffice to say. This film would be repackaged as a Hercules film for its American release because the viewers here are not as familiar with the character of Maciste, but seeing as how he is basically just an Italian version of the Greek hero it is not really that big a deal. Though, it is kind of funny how people complain and moan about the amount of sequels made today when there were sometimes two Hercules films released in the same year and then you add the Maciste films to the mix and you could see three films featuring a Hercules type character at your local cinema. The Maciste character is played by a guy who was a stunt double for Steve Reeves and he sort of looks the part, but he is the smallest of the Hercules I have seen. He does okay and the film has its moments, but gets bogged down during what should be an epic showdown to close the film.

The story has a kingdom that requires its citizenry be sacrificed to the people of the moon who lurk in the cave of death. People in the kingdom tire of this tradition and so they seek the legendary hero Maciste or Hercules if you prefer, so that he might aid them and help them defeat this threat once and for all. Unfortunately, the queen of this land is evil and works with the moon people and thus tries her best to stop Maciste from completing his goals. She also plans to sacrifice her own sister to the horrible abominations in the mountain.

This made for a good episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000, but I am surprised they did not say anything regarding the fact this was not a true Hercules film. I guess I can understand as it is not as obvious that this was not really a Hercules film. Now that film that was packaged as a Sinbad film they did was obvious as nothing about it remotely resembled a Sinbad movie. This one features the strong bearded hero and features an evil queen who falls for the hero so it pretty much is like most of the actual Hercules films. Though Crow summed up the looks of this Hercules the best by calling him, Super Bob Vila!

This one has its moments, but the whole film bogs down near the end during the climatic sandstorm sequence. I am pretty sure they were just trying to pad the film, but there are plenty of films that do not have a long running time, why they felt the need to show us the queen running through the storm, then Hercules running through the storm and then the people in the kingdom running through the storm is beyond me. Did I say running? I meant stumbling. All this time showing us this, and the actual fight with the moon people is over in the blink of any eye! This one featured a lot more action up to the point of the sandstorm though and would be more tolerable if that scene had been trimmed down significantly and the fight at the end made to look more epic.

Enter Alan Steel as greasy, gym rat Hercules. He must battle the evil Queen Zamara and the moon men. Funny thing is it's never explained who the moon men are (strange especially since they're on earth!). Annoying characters include Prince Darrick, Princess Phyllis, and his girlfriend Agar. Lots of Pizza Pizza guards getting tossed by Herc like 20 lb dumbbells. Try to regain composure (and reality) after the brutally boring and pointless `sandstorm' part.

Watch the great part with the old man and the trap. You'd think he'd remember it was there!

Fire from the sky drops near Samara. It deposits something evil. This evil horde demands human sacrifice. The queen of Samara (Jany Clair) is in cahoots with the evil ones in exchange for a chance to rule the world.

Only one man can save them by leading a revolt. Yep, it is Hercules (Sergio Ciani.) I suspect the queen could smell Hercules and ordered a shower. It did not work so she will try to make Herc take a powder, and he would be mooning over her.

It looks like another full moon and time for a sacrifice when the sound is turned off it looks like they are all going to the showers. Will Herc help? If you look close Herc looks like Bob Vila of this old house fame, only a tad smellier.

O. K. One more time let us try sandblasting him.