Le Géant de Métropolis

Get out the popcorn, junior mints and sodas for this Italian-made grindhouse spectacular. It's ripe with just about every conceivable fetishistic delight that you could get away with at a Saturday matinee or drive-in double feature. There's sword-and-sandal thrills, sci-fi funk, lots of male and female pulchritude, and a wildly sado-masochistic tone that really carries it over the top (as these things go). Only the tightest of asses couldn't enjoy this kind of late-night exploitation sleaze, so check it out and have a groovy movie party! See the terrors, the tortures, the tantalizing lust and all the other sleazy stuff that makes a lost empire cool!

Hmmm... outside of the poor dubbing, I don't really understand how this gets basted as a turkey. I suppose you could eat cheetos and drink beer and watch it with your buds. It's entertaining, but hardly Maciste Against Hercules In The Valley Of Woe or similar low budget quickies full of unintentional laughs. It's more sci-fi than sandal due to the urgent "message" it attempts to teach us modern scientific men. Evidently the producers saw in the script an important project because they lavished the greater part of their creative energies on the costumes, set designs, lighting and camera set-ups. Like movies today, the stars are not found in the cast but in the art director's studio. If it weren't in color, Giant Of Metropolis might easily be mistaken for some expressionistic epic cooked up by Fritz Lang in 1925 or one of those "new wave" European productions of The Ring cycle from the 60s and 70s. The heavy symbolism is transcribed visually, and the Roman crafts people behind the scenes must have been pleased at the oppressive but strangely beautiful world they realized. So don't expect much exciting action, character development or witty dialog. But do expect a Roman giant of sorts, one with an under-appreciated place in the ranks of thoughtfully produced sci-fi cinema.

Along with THE FURY OF ACHILLES (1962), with which I should re-acquaint myself presently, this is perhaps muscle-bound and pug-ugly Gordon Mitchell's finest hour. The film is an intriguing mix of peplum and sci-fi: I purposefully watched it and the similar (and contemporaneous) L'ATLANTIDE on consecutive days but, in the long run, this is the one to blend the two more successfully (or, if you like, outrageously) by way of imaginative (if clearly cheap i.e. mostly model and matte shots!) and atmospherically-lit sets a' la the work of Mario Bava, weird (and curiously baggy) costumes, and even odd-shaped (to say nothing of unwieldy) weaponry; incidentally, in the opening text scroll, we are told that Metropolis is just another name for Atlantis! The name of the (futuristic) city involved, then, obviously evokes Fritz Lang's seminal masterwork from 1927 and this even does it outright homage by having Metropolis eventually submerged in water (supposedly the fate of the real 'Lost Continent').

Anyway, Mitchell arrives on the scene, ostensibly in search of a promised land, with a whole entourage – but, in the space of five minutes, his father has kicked the bucket of old age and exhaustion, the leader of an accompanying faction opts to go his own way, and the hero's two brothers have a literal meltdown due to the radioactive atmosphere surrounding Metropolis! His own constitution elicits fear and doubt in the mad ruler of the city: the latter is engaged in transplanting the brain of an ancient sage (whom he constantly visits for advise, so much for his supposed superiority!) into his own child-son; he has an elder daughter (who occasionally gratifies him with a sexy exotic dance!) and, following the mysterious death of his wife, married a woman several years his junior (whom he anxiously – and authoritatively – paws despite being obviously hated by her!). As for his subjects, these are a mass of anonymous zombies who invariably rally in the square opposite the palace to cheer or curse as the case may be (but with arms enthusiastically outstretched on both occasions!) – when he decides to revive a former lieutenant of his, however, he is repaid by the latter's conspiring with Mitchell et al to thwart his evil plans!

To get back to the hero, he is imprisoned (via a temperature-altering beam of light, which has him make funny faces whilst appearing to be choking!) and forced into shows-of-strength with a variety of mutant monsters: a giant, which he fells with the over-sized skeletal jaw of some unidentified animal, and a horde of cannibalistic pygmies! Eventually, he meets and conquers – in the romantic sense, naturally – the King's female offspring (she pines for the outside world when shown furtive glimpses of it)…while her step-mom succumbs to suicide by poison rather than reveal the escaped Mitchell's whereabouts. To make matters worse for the King, Metropolis is apparently under constant threat from the elements, specifically Equatorial disorder (which he has scientists continually observe through a periscope and insistently urges them to come up with a solution to the imminent catastrophe!)…and, when one had thought his spirits could not sink any lower, he is haunted by his father's ghost (clearly disapproving of his toying with the Laws of Nature)!

Umberto Scarpelli stepped infrequently in the director's chair (THE GIANT OF METROPOLIS –reasonably engaging but invincibly juvenile such as it is – was the last of only 5, for 3 of which he actually shared the credit with somebody else!); incidentally, the producer/co-writer of the film under review was Emimmo Salvi, who would himself graduate to helming a variety of low-brow "Euro-Cult" fare and worked 6 times in all with the star – a viewing of one of these, THE TREASURE OF THE PETRIFIED FOREST (1965), followed the very next day...

On paper, this epic 60s sci-fi peplum sounds really cool: it's got astonishing set design, Bava-style art direction, outlandish costumes and weaponry, an insane tyrant, a doomed empire, beautiful women in distress, and strongman Gordon Mitchell battling it out with numerous armed guards, a massive hairy troglodyte, and five flesh eating pygmies.

In actuality, it is far from impressive...

Although the film looks great at times, with particularly good use of light and shadow (and a legendary amount of dry ice), it is severely hampered by a dreary, repetitive script, terrible dubbing and poor performances: star Mitchell's physique might have made him perfect for the genre, but he clearly spent much more time developing his pectorals than his acting skills.

Speaking of magnificent chests, The Giant of Metropolis does at least benefit from the presence of drop dead gorgeous Euro-babes Bella Cortez and Liana Orfei as Princess Mecede and Queen Texen, both of whom have va-va-voom to spare; neither woman seems to be a particularly good actress, but when they're built like that, who cares?

This is the ultimate Italo-kitsch-sword and sandal-science fiction something. The early 60's cinematic Zeitgeist in Italy was certainly unique. This one has some knockout art direction and costumes along with some pretty moody photography. Then there's your cheesy (but fun) fight scenes. It also has a some crummy special effects, monotone dubbed acting, and somewhat slow pace; but you fans of the genre knew that already and all you others will just have to try it for yourselves. You either love these kinds of films or loath them with a passion- (said in a low, dubbed, monotone voice) WHICH WILL YOU BE? A great minimalist musical score, too. I give this one an 8 because of what it is- just plain bizarre weirdness that may appeal to those of you with a certain kind of mindset. Gordon Mitchell sure is ugly but he's perfect as the put-upon (and I mean PUT-UPON) hero.