Orgie macabre

Free your mind people!! Not every movie in the world has to be Schindlers List. There are movies that exist for no good reason. These films offer no morality or underlying message. Get a six-pack, some pizza, pop this bad boy in your VCR and shut-up!! This movie is one of my favorites of all-time and it's really sad to see so many uptight dorks (who wouldn't know a good time if it sat on there face) slag it on this great web-site. So here I am to set the record straight. At the time this movie was made Ed Wood had been reduced to an alcoholic scriptwriter, rumored to be working for bottles of bourbon. So of course the script itself is simply sublime. Obvious ramblings and silly comments. Ed would have made a great writer for a kiddie show. The story itself if basically an excuse to have a dozen or so strippers dance across the screen, because I hate to say it folks but back in 1965 SEX SELLED!! And director A.C. Stephens sold ALOT of sex in his day. And to round out this ode' to burlesque you have a cast that no B-movie fan can resist like Criswell! Rumor has it when Criswell saw the final cut of this film he cried and told A.C. "You made me look like royalty"! Watch Criswells eyes as he read his cue cards. Then there's Fawn Silver, the original Elvira, looking magnificent as she torments her wooden acting captors. And Pat Berrington who achievements in b-movies are legendary (hell she was in a Russ Meyer movie for GOD SAKE!!). And lets not forget the tremendous (and naturally gifted) "dead" strippers who's dances are so mind boggleingly bad you can't help but fall off your couch! AWESOME!! RECOMENDED!!

There's no discernible plot! There are some serious continuity problems! There are naked women dancing awkwardly to mistimed music! The Great Criswell is obviously reading his lines off of cue cards placed on his knees! You can see the Werewolf's hairless chest below his Halloween mask when he lets loose with something intended to be a howl! For crying out loud, it's a movie called "Orgy of the Dead" written by Ed Wood!! You were expecting "Casablanca"? If you view this movie with the proper attitude, a few sporting and mean-spirited friends, and the appropriate libation, I guarantee you that it will be a more gratifying 92 minutes than you would have at most movies playing on the big screen this year!

Ed Wood's classic bad movies like 'Glen Or Glenda', 'Plan Nine From Outer Space' and 'Bride Of The Monster' are great fun, and still entertain after multiple viewings. 'Orgy Of The Dead', which he wrote but didn't direct, isn't in their league. It's simply a tedious bore.

A courting couple crash their car near a cemetery where the Devil (Wood regular Criswell) and his Goth girl side-kick are holding a topless dancing competition. The dancers are all dead. The guy and gal are caught by The Mummy and The Wolfman and are tied up and forced to watch the endless procession of talentless titty-dancers. They aren't too happy about this, and after 90 minutes of this crap you'll know EXACTLY how they feel!

It goes without saying that this is a strong contender for the worst movie ever made. Watch it and be amazed. And very, very bored!

Now here are a few tips if you happen to stumble upon this "movie" and decide to watch it:

-Ignore the script (there isn't one anyway)

-Ignore the acting (the actors say things like "I'm afraid! We are going to die!" with all the emotion that goes into discussions about the weather).

-Ignore the bad makeup, the inept camerawork, the overabundance of "fog", all the technical mistakes.

-Concentrate on the occasionally amusing dialogue, AND on the naked female bodies. Two or three of them are sensational. That's the only way you can get something out of this one.

-And remember that there ARE worse movies out there. Have you seen "Blood Orgy Of The She Devils"? (*1/2)

The only true Woodsian touches in this film (he didn't direct it), are the thoroughly ludicrous 'mummy' and 'werewolf' characters. Much like his 'aliens' from 'Plan 9', they seem to be pretty regular joes. For a 'mummy' and a 'werewolf'.

And of course, there is the ridiculous Criswell. He's always a hoot.

But this movie is short on hoots and overly long on 'hooters'. Basically, the whole movie is a strip show, featuring a variety of resurrected 'ghoul' women doing the bump and the grind.

Although I am a flaming heterosexual, I must admit that halfway through this film, I was thoroughly tired of looking at women's mammary glands. Of course, it is presumptuous to expect any sort of plot in a movie of this type. So get ready for.... you know what? More bazongas!

Some of the girls are o.k., even spirited, for dead ghouls. But none are memorable, and I lost track of the pairs of bazoomies I was presented with here.

This could have been a fun movie. I'll stick to my old Lily St. Cyr short films. Now that gal was smoking!