- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: [to Louie about the baseballs Gorog hit that broke his windows] Louie, dhose are the ones he bunted. The ones he slugged are on their way to California.
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: [ready for bed] Chief, what's with the earmuffs? You afraid of the thunder?
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Thunder is somerthin' that has never calcified me! It's your snorin' I'm worried about!
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: Well, what about another pair in case YOU snore?
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: I do not happen to snore. I know because I stayed awake all one night just to find out.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: [Dr. Gravesend goes to the gorilla's cage] Peek-a-boo! Have a banana on me!
- [grinds it in Dr. Gravesend's eye]
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: [into the microphone] Calling all police cars, or calling any kind of a car, there's a live monkey loose in the Gravesend Manor on Long Island! Come and get 'em! Come and get your monkey! Come and get 'em! Over before I go under!
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: What are you doin'?
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: I'm readin'.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: How can you read in the dark?
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: I went to night school!
- Grissom: I think you'll find the bed quite comfortable. Goodnight, gentlemen. Rest In Peace.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: After talkin' to you, I don't think we will.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Gentlemen, I'm very much infested with all this science friction, but what about the Clog Street lot?
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Of course, before this deal is completely edible, we'll have to draw up certain officious documents, then we'll be on our way.
- Amelia Gravesend: I'm sorry. Did-did I startle you?
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Oh, no, not at all. I always turn green this time of night. It matches my pajamas.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Case you're wondering what I'm doing in your mess hall, Mr. Jones and I couldn't sleep so good, so I thought I'd come down and persecute a few calories.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: There's one thing I like about you. You're full of bravado.
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: I never sang in the opera.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Sach, is that you?
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: No, it's you.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: It's really you, huh? Well, I see you're back to your sub-normal self again. Believe me, dhe udda way was an extinct improvement!
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: [on the phone] Well, Mr. Gravesend, there's a little matter I'd like to disgust wit' chu. It refrains to some of the little kids down here in the Bowery. You see, uh, I am what you might call, um... uh... a benefracture of humanity.
- Dr. Derek Gravesend: Beh-ehh-eh... uh, yes, yes, go on, Mr Mahoney.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Well, um, if it's all the same wit' chu, Mr. Gravesend -- dhis matter being highly contagious -- I think it would be better if me and my accomplice, Mr. Jones, came out dhere to prevaricate upon it in person.
- Dr. Derek Gravesend: Uh, "contagious?" Uh, "prevaricate?" I'm... I-I am afraid I don't follow you.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: [to the boys] Dhis guy don't even understand English.
- [back to Dr. Gravesend]
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Well, I'll explain dhe hard words when I get out dhere. Just tell me, are you gonna coaggulate wit' us or ain't cha?
- [Louie, Sach and Slip try to brainstorm where to find a safe place for Bowery kids to play baseball; the Gravesend property would be ideal]
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Before you both get too hysterical, the Gravesends who own that lot have never been indemnified with charitable projectiles.
- Louie Dumbrowsky: Did you ever think of asking them?
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: No, 'cause I could never figure out how to contact people as influenza as they are.
- Louie Dumbrowsky: Slip, there's always a telephone.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Louie, that's a very fragrant idea. I'm sorry I didn't think of it.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: I'll make the kids cut down all the weeds, clean up all the dirty bottles, have the place look real nice. Now, besides salvaging the lives of these kids, I think you'll find this whole thing may... entrance the value of your property.
- Dr. Derek Gravesend: Oh, uh... Well, if it would, uh... "entrance" the value of the property...
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: It coitenly would.