Lune de miel au Brésil

When I was young I thought the two most beautiful women in the world were Sophia Loren and Lana Turner. Then I saw Lana Turner in an extensive interview, and discovered that she was close to being the clichéd dumb blond. There is something more stupid however -- this movie. Another one of those feel sorry for the rich because they have such difficult lives...even more pathetic since this is a romantic comedy.

Speaking of beauty, Lana is not at her most beautiful here...a little full in the face. And it's difficult to judge her acting here since the story is so dumb. Ricardo Montalban actually does quite well here, as does John Lund. Louis Calhern is absolutely delightful in the illogical role of the Latin Lover's grandfather. And, it's nice to see Beulah Bondi in an atypical role for her -- psychiatrist (too bad it was such a small -- though pivotal -- role). Jean Hagen is pretty good in her supporting role here, but Eduard Franz has a disappointing role for such a fine character actor.

But, the film is beautiful in its color, and there's some very nice Latin music here.

Mervyn Leroy is one of the great directors, but, as the old saying goes, you can't win them all.

Shallow time-filler, directed by the estimable Mervyn LeRoy (who must have been a bit embarrassed), this picture-postcard travelogue-cum-romance should have put Ricardo Montalban on the map as a huge matinée idol. Montalban never quite broke the ethnic barrier to become a Valentino-type player in Hollywood, and filmdom certainly missed a prime opportunity. Montalban swaggers and struts and exudes mucho charisma as a horse rancher in Brazil who falls for vacationing heiress Lana Turner. Semi-musical piece of Hollywood factory gloss entertains in its fashion, but you'll be ashamed of yourself in the morning. Turner is so aloof that even Ricardo fails to melt her icy exterior, but the South American flavor is amusingly captured and the picture looks good enough to eat. ** from ****

This movie came right on the heels of The Merry Widow and was suppose to reunite Lana and Fernando for one more film, but - uh - complications arose! So, Lana Turner tells it in her autobiography, they were at a party and Lex Barker asked Lana to dance with him, and she didn't know how jealous Fernando could be and she accepted, and after the dance, he thanked her and Fernando said something like "Why don't you take her in the bushes and f--- her!" Then they went home and an argument took place and Fernando beat her up and caused bruises all over body. So, she reported this to the studio with the claim that she would not make the movie with Fernanado, and so they replaced him with Ricardo Montalban a very devout Catholic and would not, in any way, have an affair with Lana. So, later on Fernando never knew why he was taken off the picture. Well, according to Esther Williams, who would later marry Fernando; in her autobiography she stated that Lana would yell out in her doorway of her dressing room, "Fernando, you get your f----ing Argentine ass in here!" And, also, according to Esther Williams, she placed a glass on the wall of her dressing room and heard Lana moaning "Ohhhhhh! Fernado!!!!!!" And that Lana at times would take a leather belt to her body and put the bruises on her legs and body herself and claim it was someone else! And to prove that Fernando didn't ever lay a hand on Lana, he successfully stayed married to Esther Williams until the day he died! Oh!!!! For those old days when we had these colorful genius that made those great movies! Where are these colorful genius' today? Don't have any! Anyway, true, this movie is very entertaining, but it's really just a rehash of The Merry Widow in many ways, and if you notice, when Lana hears Ricardo singing, the same lighting, the same look on her face before they do the Samba together. One thing that not too many people never knew about Lana Turner is that she was an excellent dancer, and only showed signs of it in The Merry Widow and Latin Lovers, but the ending is kinda unrealistic. If she "did" give the money to Ricardo, I'm sure she was smart enough to keep most of it for herself with him knowing about it! After all, he didn't know how money she had! By the way, that was not Ricardo singing. He can sing, but that wasn't his voice and you almost expect them to repeat "Baby It's Cold Outside" and of course, I'm surprised that in many of the scenes Lana never once said those famous lines, "Oh! Ricardo! No!" Oops! That was the line used by Esther Williams! And speaking of Esther Williams, since movies like this usually have guest movie stars in them, I'm surprised that Esther didn't do some kind of Brazilian Samba Water Ballet in it! Not Lana's best, but a nice diversion on a boring weekend afternoon with nothing to do!

"Latin Lovers" is a tough movie to love. After all, the main character, Nora (Lana Turner), is very rich AND very arrogant. Through much of the film she seems to think she is entitled due to her money...yet she also is worried a man might want her for her money. Oddly, despite this, she is uninterested in marrying her long-time boyfriend (John Lund)...who is even richer than her.

When the boyfriend goes to Brazil to play polo, she follows and soon is smitten with Roberto (Ricardo Montalban). She worries he, too, wants her money. And, when she tells him she's loaded, he's thrilled...futher convincing her that all men want is her cash, not her circa 1953 hot bod.

In addition to Nora acting dumb and annoying through much of the film, the two men in her life aren't exactly prizes either--though you still often wonder WHAT they see in her! This is because Nora OFTEN gets angry and huffy and is as pleasant as a lion with a toothache. So, with some unlikable characters all you have left is the nice MGM gloss...which this one has in spades.

This one is much more fun than its inevitable detractors might lead you to believe. The cast, including Jean Hagen (who almost stole the show with her unforgettable Lina Lamont in "Singin' in the Rain"), Louis Calhern strutting his elegant stuff as a superannuated Brazilian, a very young Rita Moreno, the handsome John Lund once again playing a stuffy moneybags (as he did a little later in "High Society"), and Dorothy Neumann who gets some of the best of Isobel Lennart's cleverly scripted lines (with digs at psychoanalysts and their patented brand of voodoo.)

The story is pure Hollywood dream manufacture but it's so handsomely mounted and lushly photographed by that master of the color cameras, Joseph Ruttenberg, that objecting to it prompts the inevitable question, "Why in the heck did you watch it if you weren't in the mood for something with no relationship whatsoever to the real world?" Lana looks gorgeous and Helen Rose had the inspiration to dress her only in black and white and combinations thereof, contrasting her more than strikingly against the ultra-lush Technicolor trappings. She gets to do an ultra-smooth samba with her co-star Ricardo Montalban, who had the good fortune to step in as a replacement for the originally cast Fernando Lamas, whose real-life romance with Luscious Lana had very publicly come to a rocky impasse. Mervyn LeRoy, who had the distinction of mentoring Lana in the earliest days of her Hollywood ascendancy, directs with that machine-tooled efficiency that a vehicle of this kind must have if it is going to come anywhere near to a suspension of disbelief. With all of the first-class elements that Miss Turner was traditionally surrounded during her days as M-G-M's reigning boxoffice beauty, this is the kind of escapism that is, perhaps lamentably, a thing of a very distant past. When you're feeling benign, this one is fine!