Crash of Moons

There's not really that much wrong with Crash of the Moons. Basically it's a few episodes of Rocky Jones, Space Ranger merged into a film. It is extremely dated, however. Winky's treatment of Vena is a good example of this. One has to remember that it was geared to be shown to children in the 1950's. In this respect, it succeeds. If you like children's sci-fi from the 1950's, go ahead and take a look at it. You'll see John Banner in a pre-sgt. Schultz role. He does a pretty good job in it. All in all, I'd give it a 6 out of 10. Not great, but not bad.

This is a pretty standard example of the kind of 1950's sci-fi movie that, on the one hand, now comes across as thoroughly dated and often unintentionally funny, but that also has a certain charm, at least to those who can appreciate the genre. This is not a bad film of its kind, despite its deficiencies.

The "Crash of Moons" has to do with a pair of 'gypsy moons', one of which is inhabited, that are locked into an irregular orbit around each other (as one character helpfully describes it, 'like two children on a playground'), and that are headed for a collision with another inhabited moon. The 'United Worlds' sends Space Ranger Rocky Jones and his friends to save everybody. One of the moons (whose leader is John Banner, better known as Sergeant Schultz from "Hogan's Heroes") is quite cooperative, but the other world is ruled by an entertainingly mean-spirited queen who, for reasons that apparently satisfy her, would rather eliminate the Space Rangers than have their help.

Most of the characters are stereotypes, but the actors are not bad, and most of them seem to enjoy what they are doing, which gives it some real life most of the time. Some of the events and much of the jargon in the dialogue lack any plausibility, but the basic premise of the impending collision comes across pretty well, and creates some real interest. The direction could have been a lot better, because in many of the crises the tension is prematurely defused, but on the other hand there is usually enough going on to keep the viewer's interest. The 'special' effects are about what you would expect, but at least they're good for some chuckles.

This movie won't be of general interest today, but if you enjoy movies such as "Plan 9 From Outer Space", this one is worth a look. "Crash of Moons" is not nearly as uproariously inept (what movie is), but it will keep your attention and provide some light entertainment.

Excellent entertainment value when viewed as the MST3K version! Everyone is a hoot, and John Banner appears in a rare serious role as the ruler of one of the doomed planets. Don't forget to send a Bannergram. Oh, and don't forget to watch Manhunt in Space, as well.

I do like watching the classic serials of the 1940s and '50s what with their constant two-fisted action scenes and cliffhangers, although I'd never experienced the delights of ROCKY JONES, SPACE RANGER previously. CRASH OF MOONS is an example of three episodes of the popular TV series being stitched together to make a single movie.

And boy, is it a dog. It's a drawn out sci-fi movie that drags along in the doldrums for the entire running time, featuring a plot so slight that it barely holds the viewer's attention. The tale is about the titular pair of moons that have been sent out of orbit and are on a collision course with an inhabited planet. Rocky and his team (including a woman, a kid, and a bizarre old professor guy who might as well sit around smoking a pipe) go to help them evacuate, but the planet's stupid queen wants nothing to do with it.

I associate these kinds of serial and TV shows with plenty of action and excitement, but CRASH OF MOONS is sorely lacking in that department. There are lots and lots of shots of spaceships landing and docking in which the ships look like they've been drawn on the screen or perhaps animated with a piece of cardboard. Even worse, there are only a couple of fight scenes, and attempts to generate any kind of suspense fall flat. The queen and her people are so unlikeable and stupid in behaviour that you wish the moons would crash on to them and kill them all. Add in a stolid hero and cheap production values and you have CRASH OF MOONS, an entirely dated sci-fi outing.

Had this been a 1940s Sci-Fi serial, there would be no question about its place in sci-fi cinematic history. Instead, Crash of Moons - an assemblage of episodes from the 1954 Rocky Jones TV series - sits firmly in the 1950s sci-fi schlock category. Crash of Moons, and the rest of the Rocky Jones adventures, has a very strong serial feel to it, and is enjoyable for many of the same reasons the 1940s serials are still entertaining. For info on the original 1954 series from which this comes, see http://pro.imdb.com/title/tt0046639/

Jones (Richard Crane) is a space-ship captain who flies around the solar system with his improbably named navigator "Winky" (played by the ill-fated child prodigy Scotty Beckett) representing the United Worlds - an interplanetary political entity which has a very strong resemblance to Star Trek's federation. In Crash of Moons, Jones and Winky find themselves trying to deal with a pair of "gypsy moons" whose eccentric orbit is going to collapse, destroying them both. Of course, both moons are inhabited (I assume, by people who do not require consistent sunlight, food, energy sources, and an atmosphere), and one is presided over by dictator Cleolanta (Patty Parsons). Jones has a number of support personnel - an elderly science professor, The United Worlds' Secretary of Space, a lovely and smart young woman, and a child prodigy. They all pool their resources to avert the crisis, but Cleolanta has other plans.

Star Trek fans will find more than the United Worlds concept interesting - the Rocky Jones series also consistently cast women in positions of considerable power and responsibility - a bold move for 1950s TV.

The special effects are not at all bad for their time. Mostly, the effects involve miniatures and some creative imagery which merely suggest what they are meant to represent, but the effects scenes are all sewn and filmed together in a surprisingly classy way. The cinematography and directing are quite good for early TV.

The script is predictably silly, very inventively deploys technobabble, and has nothing whatsoever to do with science, or even real technology. It is therefore what one might expect had Star Trek Voyager been produced in the 1950s by the same writing team which created it in the 1990s.

The acting is serviceable for its intent - family TV viewing. Characterization is a bit light - even for heroes Jones and Winky - but this is not surprising since the film is really just an excerpt from a TV series.

I heartily recommend Crash of Moons for those interested in Sci-Fi TV history and B film addicts. Keep what this is intended to be in mind and keep your expectations low, and you just might have a good time with it!