Une fille dans chaque port

The racehorse in A GIRL IN EVERY PORT isn't the only thing that's lame. The plot, scripting, pacing and every other facet of this film follow suit. Even the title is misleading, as the ship never sails anywhere, and the only girl involved to any great extent is a stunningly moronic Marie Wilson. This film proves that labored, unfunny "comedies" were being produced long before the current spate of mindless garbage began spewing from our television and movie screens. The characters in this film all appear to have IQ's somewhere in the single digit range. It is indeed sad to see so many talented actors tangled up in this unfortunate yawner. Avoid this film at every opportunity.

Groucho Marx and William Bendix deserve much better material than what they are given here. A bad script with unfunny jokes gives these two talents nothing to work with. Why they ever agreed to do this film is one of the great mysteries of Hollywood!

In many ways, the plot to "A Girl in Every Port" plays like an Abbott & Costello movie. William Bendix plays Tim...a rather dim sailor who is bossed around by his friend, Lucky (Groucho Marx). As for Lucky, he's a con man...and a fast-talking one at that.

The story begins with Lucky and Tim, once again, in the brig on the ship where they serve. It seems that despite being real rogues, the US Navy is apparently hard up and this alone would explain why they weren't discharged. After Tim foolishly buys a bum horse with his inheritance, their captain gives them time off duty to get Tim's money back for the horse. However, instead of just asking for the money, the scheming Lucky comes up with a plan to not only get Tim's money back...but a bit more for their trouble. This plan includes the help of a ditzy blonde (Marie Windsor) and her lookalike horse.

When the film was made, Groucho was 62 years-old...way too old to be a common seaman in the Navy. But considering how silly the plot is, this is the least of the plot problems in the film. Switching horses like they do isn't possible due to tattoos and other means the racetracks have to make sure horses aren't switched. But again....with a comedy like this, you can overlook all this.

So is it any good? Well, Bendix is just okay...and he doesn't really contribute a lot to the story. Instead, the movie seems much more a Groucho vehicle and he dominates the film. As for Marie Wilson, she's not as one-note and annoying as she often could be with her dumb blonde routine. The best thing the film has going for it, apart from Groucho, is energy and silliness. Not a great comedy but a very enjoyable one.

After years of knowing about this movie, I just now finally watched this online. It stars Groucho Marx without either of his brothers with William Bendix, Marie Wilson, and Don DeFore, the latter two I previously saw in My Friend Irma when DeFore was potentially romantically paired with the other leading lady, Diana Lynn. The movie's about a couple of sailors dealing with a horse. I think that's all I'll say about the plot which can be quite confusing but is still quite funny considering some of the lines and the delivery of especially Groucho. By the way, this was only the second of producer Irwin Allen's movies starring that Marx brother, the previous one being Double Dynamite. He'd cast Groucho one more time in The Story of Mankind which also featured his siblings Harpo and Chico, all in separate segments.

"A Girl in Every Port" is one of the few solo efforts of Groucho Marx after 20 years of working almost exclusively with his brothers. It is probably one of the weakest films he was ever associated with. Occasionally his wit and his gift for free-association dialogue shines through, but there are also a couple of moments where his timing seems to have slowed down. The film also suffers from a needlessly convoluted plot (though, to its credit, the script acknowledges this flaw and even uses it as a target for some jokes), and the direction is generally flat. Still, the film is perfectly watchable and occasionally even entertaining. Let's face it, even Groucho at 80% speed is better than most comedians (of all eras) at 100%. And then there is also Marie Wilson. Unlike most comedies of its time where women usually have straight roles, she plays a good-hearted but extremely ditzy girl, with legs that go on for miles and breasts that nearly burst through her outfits. The scene where her bare shoulders keep getting exposed is actually kind of sensual. And Teddy Hart is pretty funny as the gangster "High Life". ** out of 4.