Citations

Mariage sans histoires

Janet's Mother: [Adjusting her hat in the mirror] Why is it that when I pay 12 and 11 for a hat, it's a success and I wear it for years; and I pay three guineas I can never wear it at all?
Aunt Mary: Expensive hats look all right in the shop and all wrong when you get them home. I think they must fake the millers.

Janet's Brother Denys: Here's another monstros... I mean present.
Janet's Mother: A centerpiece. Lovely. Who sent it?
Janet's Brother Denys: [Reading the card] "With love to dear, dear Janet, and may she have blessed happiness. From Auntie Polly and Uncle George." I wonder who gave it to them.

The Arm of the Law: I now charge you with obstruction, driving without a license, driving in a manner dangerous to the public, being in possession of a car not your own property without the owner's permission, defacing a public sign--to wit, a noticeboard inscribed with the words "Thank you", and attempting to obstruct a police officer in the execution of his duties by offering him a sum of money--to wit, a half a crown.

Flower Lisle: I must be alone some part of the day. My mind gets so muddled if I'm never alone.
Janet's Father: I'm sure it does.

Magistrate: [Before Dallas and Janet's wedding] Jumping Jehoshaphat - the bookie fellow.

Aunt Mary: And when you get her back, give us a surprise and don't wash until after dinner.

The Arm of the Law: If you're referring to the magistrates, the bench convenes at ten o'clock, and I shall now add the charge of using obscene language.
Dallas Chaytor: [Grabbing the bobby's arm] Now, look here.
The Arm of the Law: And furthermore, assaulting and battering a police officer in the execution of his duty.

Marcia's Husband: [Entering a bedroom window] Mrs. Jardow, I do so apologize. I thought Marcia was sleeping in the guest room.
Aunt Mary: Well, you couldn't have chosen a more civilized way of announcing yourself?

Aunt Mary: Now, listen to me. Every day, twice a day, for the rest of your life, you've got to tell here these two things. A - that you love her. And, B - that she's beautiful. Run along and begin now. Don't let her talk until you've been making love to her for at least half an hour. Get her alone somewhere.

Aunt Mary: Now, young man, listen to me. I know more about the workings of a female mind than you will ever know.

The Arm of the Law: [Questioning Dallas after his road accident, with Janet as passenger] I suppose this is your car?
Dallas Chaytor: Well, as a matter of fact, kind of funny you should ask that, because uh, well, it isn't. Well, not exactly.
The Arm of the Law: I take it you have the owner's permission?
Dallas Chaytor: Well, yes, in a manner of speaking, but, uh, I didn't exactly ask him. But I know he wouldn't mind, I mean, I wouldn't if it was my car and he had been me. Which, of course, I admit he isn't, but still uh, you know what I mean?
The Arm of the Law: [as he continues writing what Dallas says in his notebook] ... if you know what I mean.

Janet Royd: I didn't know I was marrying a giggly, smugly-faced bore.
Dallas Chaytor: And I didn't know I was marrying a silly little-minded school girl.
Vicar: Now, children, pay attention.

Flower Lisle: Do you mind if I hang my own pictures on the wall? I'm never happy without my pictures.
Janet's Mother: No, if you can manage with the nails that are there.
Flower Lisle: Oh, that's perfectly all right. I brought some special little wall pins. They leave no marks.

Flower Lisle: Oh, by the way. I think you ought to know, I am not John's fiancé yet. I shall decide definitely after this weekend.
Janet's Brother John: Flower!

Janet's Sister Marcia: Well, Jim, I'm going to have a baby.
Marcia's Husband: Marcia, my darling.
[Hugging and kissing]
Marcia's Husband: Darling! I say! I mean, I should never have known. Oh, darling, dearest. I say! By jove!
Janet's Sister Marcia: No, no, no. Don't say, by jove. The rest of it was lovely.

Flower Lisle: Oh, that's perfectly all right. It's the mental attitude that counts. I should be comfortable in a pig sty.
Janet's Mother: Oh, heh, heh, then you should be quite all right in Marcia's room.

Boofy Ponsonby: [One of two ushers for the wedding] I wonder where they keep the plates.
Janet's Brother Denys: We're ushers, old boy. We don't need a plate.
Boofy Ponsonby: Oh, I don't know - we might make a little.

Railway Porter: Been working me off me feet, you have - you and your young woman.
Dallas Chaytor: Oh, have we?
Railway Porter: Aye, indeed you have. Parcels, parcel, parc... nothing but parcels. Why can't two young folks get themselves wed without all this darn fiddle-faddle?

Aunt Mary: You know, if you go on behaving like the correct English gentleman, there'll be no wedding. Abduct her!

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