The Last Crooked Mile

...It has more plot holes than a piece of Swiss cheese.

The film opens on a bank robbery and a shoot out between the robbers and bank guards. The gang took three hundred thousand dollars whose serial numbers were not listed, so there is no way to trace the stolen money.

The gang has thought of everything - they switch cars, hide the loot in an unusual place on the new car, and take off. But the bank president mentions something unusual about one of the robbers - he has polished well manicured nails - and this gets them caught in the road block, causes them to shoot it out with the police, and the car crashes down a ravine killing all inside. So the entire Jarvis gang is dead, and where the money is dies with them. Enter detective Tom Dwyer (Don Red Barry) who offers to find the loot for the 10% reward.

Now Barry makes an interesting crime picture protagonist. He looks somewhat like a cross between Chester Morris and Don Rickles, if you can conceive of such a thing, doing his best James Cagney while smiling like the Joker. He comes across a carnival museum making a show out of the Jarvis getaway car, there are always two hoods hanging around, a dead man shows up in a rollercoaster who wasn't there when the ride started, and then there is Detour's Ann Savage who belts a few tunes at the local club.

There are people being shadowed, an attempt to gun down Barry on the streets, and two attempts to run over Ann Savage with a car, and this is the first time I've ever seen a private investigator with a welding certificate before. Maybe he learned it during the war?

Not to spoil anything for you, but the entire heist and who winds up being responsible for various crimes and the twists and turns in the plot that are revealed are convoluted and at worst just incoherent. But it keeps moving, has great dialogue and atmosphere, and it keeps you guessing because who would ever determine the crazy actual denouement?

This rare crime film from 1940s Republic Pictures is worth your time. Just don't think too hard.

Ann Savage will forever be known as the vulturous woman in Ulmer's masterpiece DETOUR. Alas, many other films in her career have not had comparable longevity. This little programmer is one of the many forgotten little baubles that used to dot TV land back in the days before all those rotten Infomercials took over late night viewing. Despite the superb cast of B movie stalwarts, this generic little programmer is nonetheless noteworthy for trying to cram a lot of plot in the confines of an hour, so much so that it appears incoherent. It tries to do everything and ends up not doing much of anything. It's diverting enough because of the haywire plot; you never know where this is going. But see it for Ann Savage.

This nifty, fast-paced B mystery, based on a radio play (as were many superior second features of the time) is a nice surprise from Republic Studios. It features original situations and plenty of fancy patter, some of it slightly risqué for the time (obviously, the production code mavens were more diligent in scrutinizing the A product than these minor programmers). Lightweight leading man Don "Red" Barry, with the wavy hair and tenor voice, gives as good as he takes (he also sports one of the most outrageous wide ties in memory), and B movie icon Ann Savage has a sizable role as a slinky cabaret singer who may know more than she lets on. Connoisseurs will appreciate the parade of offbeat character turns by vets like Irving Bacon, Sheldon Leonard, and especially Tom Dugan in a little deadpan bit as a sarcastic souvenir salesman. The photography is suitably shadowy, the carnival background sleazy, and there are some clever editing tricks. Obscure director Phil Ford, who was John Ford's nephew (and Francis Ford's son), certainly takes advantage of his studio's affinity for serials, emphasising reckless car chases and a wild ride aboard a roller-coaster. (By the way, reliable historian Tom Weaver claims that Phil was often more interesting than both John and Francis!) If you like this one, try the similar No Hands on the Clock from Paramount's splendid B-movie mill.

Donaid Barry (Tom) plays a private detective who sets out to discover where the hidden loot from the recent Jarvis gang robbery is hidden. He's after a percentage of the reward for finding it and gets the OK from police to help in the search. This takes him to a fairground where the original car that was used in the Jarvis robbery is being used as a showpiece. However, it is also attracting interest from other parties.

This film has a good cast and starts well. It hooks you in with the Jarvis gang robbery and we follow the getaway car as it is chased through the country until disaster strikes. The criminal gang are all very convincing. But they don't last long! The rest of the cast are all good - I personally like gangster Sheldon Leonard ('Wires' MacGuire) and I felt sorry for bimbo-babe Adele Mara (Bonnie) who is always left standing alone somewhere while Barry shoots off on another task. She provides the comedy factor along with some of the dialogue. It's snappy and funny throughout. Donald Barry comes across as a James Cagney type character and he is just on the right side of annoying - he's likable and carries the film but its a fine line that he is treading.

There is a lot of action in this short film and the pace and the dialogue make it an entertaining experience. You may guess where the money is hidden but there is a twist in the story that you may not expect.

ABSURDITY: The getaway car used in a robbery, in which all three occupants died, vital evidence in an ongoing police investigation publicly on show at a fairground. Surely not!

MEDIOCRITY: The two motorcycle cops involved in the chase are shown, in spots clearly astride stationary machines, whilst the high speed scenery takes all the risks. The wonky, wobbly, wooden handrail at the roller coaster ride was presumably kept in storage, prior to being sold to the makers of Crossroads in the 1960's. Crooks, 'Wires' MacGuire (Sheldon Leonard) and his lame-brained sidekick hardly generate the 'oooh...I'm scared' factor, when they appear. Ann Savage is by far the movie's greatest asset, yet her character is a pale shadow of the volatile, destructive, savage by name, savage by nature femme fatale, who turned hapless Tom Neal's life upside down, inside out and back to front in the previous year's classic, 'Detour.' And as for her song.....that's one minute and 42 seconds of my life I'll never have back!

LIABILITY: Tom Dwyer (Don Barry's) sub-Cagney, fast talking, wise-cracking, whip-smart private dick comes across as forced and irritating, rather than sharp and amusing. To add insult to injury, most directors found the bloke very difficult to work with.

Occasionally, the rushed, slap-dash approach can produce a masterpiece. (Check out Neil Young's Tonight's the Night). This is not one of those occasions. Had this been a school report, phrases like 'could have done better' and 'too easily satisfied' would spring to mind.

Remarkably, this hotch-potch of half baked ideas and one dimensional characters, despite its legion of shortcomings, turns out to be passingly watchable, mildly entertaining and arcanely memorable. Frequently and against all the odds, 'Crooked Mile' manages to punch above its weight. It remains a pretty rough around the edges production from Poverty Row, Republic Pictures. Indeed, there is nothing polished about this misfiring oddity apart from John Dehner's finger nails.