Tondelayo

She is easy to look at, isn't she. All tan skin, she's got that sarong (probably stolen from Dorothy Lamour), all that gorgeous black hair, but talent is lacking. Hedy Lamarr eschews acting completely in this delightful tale of sex in the jungle. It isn't about anything else--not man versus nature, not oppression of minorities--just plain sex.

Harry, as played by the statue-like Walter Pidgeon, has been in the jungle so long he's starting to act a bit kooky. He gets infuriated when people discuss the heat, certain words send him into a King Kong-like fit. I get the feeling we're supposed to think this is because there are several men there, but no women. Is this what happens? Gracious me--I better rearrange my priorities. Anyway, one of his helpers goes off his rocker and has to be replaced. The replacement, Langford, refuses to listen to Harry, who really does know what he's talking about, only to turn into a lazy lay-about.

At this point, a new character is introduced. She's a half-breed (not like Cher, but a half-breed nevertheless) named Tondelayo. The line "I am Tondelayo" did become something of a catch phrase--I can recall seeing Lucille Ball taunting some comedian, possibly Jerry Lewis, with it. Tondelayo is a gorgeous woman, but she likes a good time. Heck, she likes lots of good times in a row. Langford is smitten, and he can't understand why Harry insists that Tondelayo be avoided. Langford assumes Harry's jealous, which only makes him more thrilled. In order to keep Tondelayo near him, Langford marries her. She goes around telling everyone she's "Mrs. Langfut"--Hedy's accent prevents her from saying "Langford," apparently. Right around here is a scene that tops Tondelayo's entrance. She's going through all the trinkets that Langford has to give her to keep her interested, when she comes across a mirror. She looks at herself in it (naturally), and then remarks solemnly, "Him make big face this side, him make little face THIS side." Oh, I just died laughing. Tondelayo's odd speech patterns are the highlight of this movie--she sounds completely idiotic.

This being a 40s film, everyone has to get what's coming to them, in various showy ways. All in all, this is a delightful film with no statement to make, no mountains to move. It's just there to enjoy.

Hollywood used to turn out some great bad movies, and "White Cargo" is one of the greatest and baddest. People who complain that it's unrealistic are missing the boat. Except for the jungle heat, the isolation of the white guys, and location shots of what looks like a rubber plantation, this movie doesn't even pretend to be real. It's pulp fiction of the old school. You watch it to forget your troubles, and if you're like me (a guy), Hedy Lamar will make 'em vanish like bubbles. Because it combines shameless sensationalism and with solid melodramatic performances (especially from Lamar, Pidgeon, and Wizard-of-Oz Frank Morgan), even my wife liked it.

OK, Hollywood and America were a lot more racist in 1942 than now. We get it. But this movie isn't about race, imperialism, natural resources, or any of those other trendy topics, it's about the sensual power of Tondelayo.

Goofy makeup and all, it would have been tough to find any actress of any ethnicity who could top Hedy Lamar in the leading role. Tondie, an incarnation of Eve like you wouldn't believe, unites all misogynist female stereotypes into one purring package: she's mysterious, wild, stupid, primitive, insincere, manipulative, beautiful, evil, greedy, relentless, sadomasochistic, homicidal, and did I mention sexy? That all adds up to "irresitible" in the logic of this movie. The fact that she's the only woman within a hundred miles is certainly part of her charm.

And yes, as she drives Richard Carlson batty, Hedy Lamar really communicates all those things with her movements, her delivery, and, toughest to do, her glances. Her eyes alone reveal her mind switching from evil to stupid to greedy in rapid succession.

"White Cargo" is a demented fantasy sequel to Conrad's great story "Heart of Darkness," or an academic poindexter could argue that it is. But ignore that. Blatant junk movies today are pretentious, gory, and tedious. But not "White Cargo." It isn't as complicated or ingenious as "Gilda," but it comes close enough on the Meter of Marvelous Trash. Great fun if you love the ridiculous!

"I am Tondelayo" at one time was a phrase bandied about, though you don't hear it much, if ever, anymore. "White Cargo" is a 1942 film starring Hedy Lamarr, Walter Pidgeon, Richard Carlson, Frank Morgan, and Henry O'Neill.

The story concerns men on a rubber plantation, bored, hot, and hating it. When Mr. Langford (Richard Carlson) joins them, he's fresh and rarin' to go. As the others predict, his optimism doesn't last long.

Then along comes the scourge of the jungle, Tondelayo (Lamarr). She's Egyptian and Arab so she could pass the Hays office, which said whites and blacks couldn't cavort. Apparently Tonde has given quite a few white jungle dwellers, including the Pidgeon carrier, quite a ride. He detests her, and warns Carlson to stay away from her. But he can't. Soon she works her magic on him and his destruction begins.

Among Holllywood's spectacular beauties, Hedy Lamarr was in the top 5. She had something besides beauty (intelligence, but that doesn't come into play here) -- sex appeal. You certainly didn't have to be womanless in the jungle to find her gorgeous, especially half-dressed. Sporting dark makeup, a bad accent and bad accent, Tondelayo proves to be problematic.

I think this was intended as a serious film, and it's very well made, not like some campy movie. True, Lamarr's role is campy, and it would have been no matter who had acted in it.

You can mark this down as an entertaining film about the tropics, a favorite topic over at MGM. And maybe on Jeopardy Alec Trebek had to run through the "Hedy Lamarr" topic all by himself while the clueless contestants just stood there, but there was a time when everybody had heard of her -- and Tondelayo.

This film certainly was not one of the best films of 1942. However, I do believe it succeeds as purely escapist entertainment. Yes, the plot was silly, the script was poor, and the performances were mostly indifferent; but Hedy's entrance, with the line 'My name is Tondelayo', became a vintage moment in film history. She was a beguiling and breathtakingly beauty, and she seemed to enjoy this role. Hedy made this a major box-office hit in 1942, and became a pin-up favorite of many WW2 vets. This was a showcase for Hedy's beauty, as previously noted the cinematography was very good. Note, the use of shadows against Hedy's face, to accentuate every incredible feature. The one thing that annoyed me, was the insufferably long and boring 30 minutes or more, before Hedy made her entrance

All criticisms aside though, a film like this needs to be viewed, within the context of escapist film entertainment, circa 1942. The studios were cranking out many more films than they do today. The world was within the grips of the worst war in history, and nearly half of the country's population was going to the movies, at least once a week! There were great films being released, but most films were released just to entertain audiences, who would then have an excuse to buy popcorn and perhaps a soda. So this campy movie was made, with Hedy Lamarr as the incredibly beautiful and seductive Tondelayo, and made millions for MGM. Thus, 'White Cargo' with legendary beauty Hedy Lamarr rates a 7/10, for providing some fairly mindless, but visually compelling entertainment.

One can only wonder how many posters of Hedy Lamarr as Tondelayo were pinned up by soldiers in WWII. She is seductive and appealing and downright hot as a half African who spends the entire film in bra and sarong. Most of the time she is striking seductive poses and lounging on a couch showing off her magnificent body that matches her unequaled facial features.

This is a comedy for the most part, and it is really funny. Frank Morgan is back, not a The Pirate, but as a drunken doctor that has probably been drummed out of the medical establishment and can only get work on this African plantation.

Walter Pidgeon, who would go one to capture two Oscar nominations in the next two years (Mrs. Miniver, Madame Curie), was the leader of the plantation and the colonial law. He was hilarious as a succession of new assistants arrived in white, freshly starched clothing from the Mother Country, and all said the exact same words that drove him nuts.

Of course, he warned all of them about Tondelayo, even banning her from the camp, but it was useless as they all succumbed to her charms.

A must-see for those who appreciate what made our fathers happy in the Big One.