- Pat Quinn: Last summer you wouldn't have turned me out in the snow.
- Alan Tanner: Last summer there wasn't any snow. You were just a little girl who's father rented my house and I was trying to be a rather pleasant country landlord.
- Pat Quinn: And now?
- Alan Tanner: And now - is the winter of our discontent. Scram, my love.
- Pat Quinn: You're just trying to keep us apart. You don't understand him. You never did! Alan is a man who...
- Alice Merritt: He's a child, my dear, in many ways. He needs mothering and guiding and a swift, firm hand to get him out of the jams he gets himself into.
- Pat Quinn: With me by his side, he wouldn't get into jams!
- Alice Merritt: When I was married to him, it was jam for breakfast, jam for lunch, and jam for dinner.
- Arthur Layton: Please, gentlemen, stop the petty arguments. It's like worrying over a manicure on the way to the guillotine.
- Pat Quinn: He's in Cairo.
- Daisy Lowell: Cairo? You mean Cairo, Illinois? I played that town once. Coal miners. The language! But, they loved me. They loved little Daisy. I thought I'd never get out of that town alive.
- Pat Quinn: Cairo, Egypt!
- Daisy Lowell: You're gonna marry Miss Snotty, Alan? Oh, don't do it. She's got a mean eye. Even if she is ready to lend you the dough! She's got a mean eye.
- Alan Tanner: Alice.
- [kiss]
- Alan Tanner: Gosh, that was good.
- Alice Merritt: Oh, put me down.
- Alan Tanner: You're down.
- Alice Merritt: Put me up! I mean, let me go.
- Daisy Lowell: Tell me some more about your father's cows, Jasper.
- Orlando Rowe: Ah, don't call me Jasper. Call me Orlando!
- Daisy Lowell: I wouldn't call anybody Orlando.
- Arthur Layton: Please, where?
- Miss Jones - Dumb Switchboard Operator: Oh, well, I think it was on your private one.
- Arthur Layton: Private what?
- Arthur Layton: I know, I know. Alan blew up after two marvelous acts. And we're blowing up with him. Or, maybe without him.
- Alice Merritt: It's a crazy idea - and, I'm afraid, I'm not crazy any more.
- Arthur Layton: Well, things were much better when we were all crazy. But, crazy together.
- Alan Tanner: You're supposed to be in school. Who told you I was here?
- Pat Quinn: I'm on my vacation. I stopped off to look at a house on the hill and I heard you were here. So, I thought I'd drop in and continue my education and learn something.
- Alan Tanner: Well, I'm very bad education for school girls. Now, scoot!
- Alice Merritt: Arthur, do you really think I could do it?
- Arthur Layton: Of course you could! Make him work, by hating you or loving you. Inspire him or brain him. Now, get your hat. Do anything.
- Alice Merritt: I'm going to beg them to take you to jail. Then, I'm coming to visit you and throw peanuts at you, you conceited gorilla.
- Alice Merritt: You don't want to put Mr. Tanner in the hoosegow. Orlando doesn't. No one does.
- Alan Tanner: Daisy does.
- Pat Quinn: I love him. I don't care how many times he's been married. They didn't understand him. He need me.
- McBride: Why you sweet little idiot.
- [kiss]
- Pat Quinn: This is as bad as a high school dance.
- Alice Merritt: [enters] Hello.
- McBride: Oh, hello. How's the play coming?
- Alice Merritt: Oh, fine, thanks. Are you making out all right?
- McBride: Mrs. Tanner, don't you think you've had enough?
- Daisy Lowell: Quiet! Who are you to tell me when I've had enough.
- Alice Merritt: You've made love to her, haven't you? Haven't you?
- Alan Tanner: Oh, she's just a baby. I can't help it if she gets a little crushed. That's nothing.
- Alice Merritt: All right, Casanova.
- Orlando Rowe: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. I'd a never believed it if I hadn't a seen it with my own eyes. Ha-ha. She's out colder than a mackerel!
- Alice Merritt: You can share the room with her.
- Pat Quinn: What? You - you expect me to sleep in the same bed with that woman?
- Alice Merritt: Mmm-hmm. It's been done before.
- Alan Tanner: [to Alice and Pat] Why don't you get Daisy so that you can have a free for all!
- Daisy Lowell: [enters] Daisy's here!
- Alice Merritt: Well, little girls fall in love with interesting old men and little girls get hurt. But, they get over it. Anyway, that's the theory.
- Alan Tanner: Oh, we're going to have a theory about this?
- Alice Merritt: Yes! How old was I when I fell in love with you? Nineteen. And you see, I got over it.
- Alan Tanner: You better hide in that clothes closet.
- Orlando Rowe: This is awful white of you, Mr. Tanner.
- Alice Merritt: I'm sorry. Am I interrupting something?
- Alan Tanner: Don't be ridiculous!
- Alice Merritt: Maybe if she sat on your lap, that'd be an inspiration.
- Daisy Lowell: Daisy's tellin' ya and Daisy knows.
- Pat Quinn: Well, Mr. Tanner's ex-choices in women bore me terribly.
- McBride: Are you cold?
- Orlando Rowe: Certainly I'm cold! Did you ever hear of steam-heated snow? Apple jack!
- Daisy Lowell: Oh, listen, go back and get Alan.
- Orlando Rowe: Give me some Apple Jack.
- Alan Tanner: How in blazes do you women expect me to work with both of you getting into each other's hair?
- Alan Tanner: I just had to leave my own house, cause it's overrun with screaming females all trying to give me advice.
- Mrs.Canterbury: What you need is to get them wet clothes off.
- Alan Tanner: Yes, I know.
- Mrs.Canterbury: I'm gonna give you a mustard foot bath and a hot drink. Then, I'm gonna put you to bed and put a hot brick to your feet.
- Alan Tanner: Darling, I don't want a mustard bath and I don't want a hot brick anyplace.
- Arthur Layton: I need you.
- Daisy Lowell: Huh?
- Arthur Layton: Sure! You're just the one to play the other woman in Alan's show.
- Daisy Lowell: Now, don't kid me, Mr. Layton.
- Arthur Layton: Nah. You're perfect for it. She's a hard boiled, low down, no good dame.
- Daisy Lowell: If you've got any sense, you'd tell him to go jump in the lake. But, no woman that was ever in love had any sense anyway.
- Alice Merritt: We have two Third Acts.
- Arthur Layton: I don't want two Third Acts! I've already had three Third Acts. So, I want one Third Act - good.