- Mrs. Laurel: Where's the ice cream?
- Stanley: They didn't have any.
- Mrs. Laurel: Why didn't you go somewhere else?
- Stanley: Well, I spent the 15 cents calling you up.
- Mrs. Hardy: That's the dumbest thing I ever heard of.
- Mrs. Laurel: You keep out of this.
- Mrs. Hardy: I won't. I won't. I won't. I won't. I won't.
- Mrs. Laurel: [to Stan] Sit down. "Spent the 15 cents calling me up." Hmph!
- Stanley: Fanny.
- Mrs. Laurel: What?
- Stanley: Would you go to the kitchen and get the horse's radish?
- Mrs. Laurel: You go get it yourself. "Horse's radish"! Hmph!
- Mrs. Hardy: Why don't you leave him alone. You're always picking on him. Pick pick pick pick.
- Mrs. Laurel: You keep your big mouth out of this!
- Mrs. Hardy: [gasp] Did you hear what she said?
- Oliver: [gives a little nod]
- Mrs. Hardy: [crying] I haven't got a big mouth have I?
- Oliver: [shakes his head]
- Delivery boy: Does Mrs. Laurel live here?
- Mrs. Hardy: Mmm-hmm.
- Delivery boy: Will you see that she gets this cake?
- Mrs. Hardy: I certainly will.
- [takes the cake and goes to her]
- Mrs. Hardy: The man said to be sure you got this.
- Mrs. Laurel: Thank you.
- Mrs. Hardy: [slams the cake into her face]
- Stanley: Fifteen cents for the strawberry ice cream.
- Soda Jerk: We haven't any.
- [Stan looks dumbfounded for a moment, then looks at the 15 cents in his hand and goes to use the payphone near the counter]
- Mrs. Laurel: [at the house, the phone rings] Hello? Stanley says they haven't any strawberry ice cream.
- Mrs. Hardy: Well, get tutti-fruitti.
- [playfully giggles]
- Mrs. Laurel: [to Stan] Well, get tutti-fruitti.
- [playfully giggles]
- Stanley: Give me tutti-fruitti.
- Soda Jerk: We haven't any!
- Mrs. Laurel: [phone rings] Oh, there it goes again!
- [answers it]
- Mrs. Laurel: Hello? Well, get chocolate.
- [hangs up]
- Stanley: I'll take chocolate.
- Soda Jerk: We haven't any!
- Oliver: [the phone rings again. Mrs. Laurel, exasperated at the prospect that her husband is calling yet again to inform her that the additional requested ice-cream flavor is unavailable] I'll get it.
- [stands and answers the phone]
- Oliver: Hello? Well, get vanilla. Anything!
- [hangs up]
- Stanley: I'll take vanilla.
- Soda Jerk: We haven't any.
- Stanley: Well, what have you got?
- Soda Jerk: I told you we don't sell ice cream here. Next door.
- [points; Stan mimics his point, dumbfounded again. He shrugs as if to indicate defeat and leaves]
- Mrs. Laurel: [to Mrs. Hardy] Just because you wear the pants in your family, that's no sign you're going to wear them in mine.
- Oliver: Oh, well, I wear my own pants in this family.
- Mrs. Laurel: Yes, and I wear mine.
- [Stan takes this literally and lifts her dress to see if she's wearing pants; she slaps his hands away]
- Mrs. Hardy: [to Stan] Don't pay any attention to her. It serves us right for marrying into such a family.
- Oliver: Wait a minute. What's the matter with my family? I'll have you know that my family's just as good as your family.
- Mrs. Hardy: Oh yeah?
- Oliver: Yeah.
- Mrs. Hardy: After all our family's done for your family...
- Oliver: [slaps the table repeatedly] Let's stop this arguing and get dinner over so I can find out what the surprise is.
- [Stan spits out his drink. Mrs. Laurel glares at him while Ollie looks down sheepishly]
- Mrs. Laurel: Oh, so you told him, didn't ya?
- [looks upward. Stan follows her gaze, only for her to smash a dish on his chin]
- Mrs. Laurel: Now let that be a lesson to ya.
- Mrs. Hardy: If I wasn't a perfect lady, I'd bust you in the nose.
- Oliver: [Ollie's wife, Stan's sister, implies that Ollie is to blame for some shenanigans] Why, it wasn't me. It was that dumb brother of yours.
- Mrs. Hardy: [gasps in disgust] Don't you call him dumb. Why, you've forgotten more than he'll ever know--in his little finger!
- Mrs. Laurel: You get that hussy out of here!
- Mrs. Hardy: Don't call me a hussy!
- Oliver: Sit down.
- Mrs. Hardy: I'm not a hussy, am I?
- Oliver: No.
- Mrs. Laurel: Get that dame out of my house before I go nuts!