The Witches of Dumpling Farm

Missing a script. At least I think that's what is wrong with this film. It was awful and ridiculous. The basic idea could be cool; the filming and acting wasn't horrible; just missing anything to tie it together. 20 minutes of drugs; 20 minutes of this, that, and the other thing. Just doesn't get there.

The blessing and the curse of the Age of the Internet is that anyone can make anything and find a way to have it distributed for mass consumption. No, it's not necessarily fair to begin making judgments as soon as a film begins, yet very often - whether quality is very high or very low - one can begin to gain an impression very quickly. 'Wicked witches,' alternatively known as 'The witches of Dumpling Farm,' is definitely an instance where certain matters draw our attention from the get-go. Consider the dull, lethargic direction that lets moments proceed slowly and linger interminably, and which deadens any feelings that one might hope to derive from a horror film. Are you looking for tension, suspense, unease, fright, thrills, chills, or excitement? Sorry, keep looking. Even when discrete genre elements are presented to us, such as blood, gore, heightened emotions, or would-be disturbing imagery, the incidence is all too often tiresomely flat, lifeless, and matter-of-fact, and maybe outright blunt and tactless; documentarians have elicited more engagement. (No, truly. Have you watched anything from Werner Herzog? The man is a genius.)

It's reasonable to suppose that Martin's direction is to blame, yet one way or another the cast doesn't come off well. The performances are largely stale and wooden and/or otherwise unbelievable, and no one comes off worse than Justin Marosa. To be honest, the same blandness and synonymic descriptors apply to most of these eighty-odd minutes, and this 100%, absolutely, positively includes the dialogue, which is also just plain terrible. The premise holds promise, and there are fair ideas in the narrative that have surely been the basis of a good time in other titles. There are also bad ideas in the narrative, though, including too much of the party, a scene which comprises a fair portion of the length; the scene writing and characterizations tend to swiftly grow wearisome. I guess we can at least say that this boasts crisp, vivid, and smooth cinematography, nice hair and makeup, some splendid art direction, and decent production values, but if you think that these alone constitute value deserving one's viewership, I desperately implore you to watch another movie - any other movie. Most of the effects that are employed look swell, but oddly enough, it's the most simple ones (when eyes shift) that are the most transparent and unconvincing.

It takes a little more than half of the runtime for us to really get the sinister fun we came here for as the plot meaningfully kicks up. As this happens, however, we also see how emptily self-indulgent some of Martin's choices can be as both director and cinematographer. Moreover, for whatever invigoration and slight atmosphere we do get in the latter half, the proceedings continue to be troubled by further instances of that dull, lethargic direction, questionable scene writing, and other issues, including overdone vocal effects. What it comes down to, sadly, is that there's nothing in 'Wicked witches' that we can't get elsewhere, and those aspects that trouble this feature weigh so heavily upon it that the entertainment to be had is wanting. Not everything about this is rotten, but too much is weak, and the facets that are appreciable struggle to lift the whole above "middling" - not least as they are often adjoined by the flaws. I'll say this much: the variable strength that the picture bears in the second half, where violence reigns supreme, represents the best that it has to offer, and with that strength is sufficient vitality to save the viewing experience from the bottom of the barrel. Would that the filmmakers' worst impulses were reigned in, that as much care had been applied toward other elements as had been toward the horror brutality, and perhaps that someone in addition to the Pickerings had consulted on the production and provided an outsider's perspective.

There are certainly far worse things you could watch. Unfortunately, unless you're hard-up for genre fare or a huge fan of someone involved (none of whom are specifically known to me), there's also no major reason to watch this over countless other similar flicks that are out there in the world. If you do find yourself pressing "play" then it's passably enjoyable, but only if you can make it through the first half without stopping, and that there is slack to be picked up is the sticking point. Watch or not, it's your choice, but there are too many other films to invest in to spend time with 'Wicked witches.'

I liked the posters I'd seen online in many places and thought I'd give it a look. I wasn't expecting much as knew was a low budget first time film for the directors. The Pickering Brothers. ( No relation to Ronnie Pickering I hope!! Ha ha)

Well. Managed to struggle through it. It was a challenge. The script in poor and the whole film suffers from scenes that really drag on and feel like padding out the film to make a feature length. Pointlessly long scenes. The main character does his best with the script and his acting is fair considering. He makes some stupendously stupid decisions ....but it's a horror film so guess you have to leave some logic at the door. His friend Ian acts so wooden and oddly but he just ignored it .......and his bad acting also. Later on when he's supposed to be having sex with a witch he looks hilarious and as if he is just doing push ups. Ha.

The blonde witch is hot the one from the shop. But the rest aren't much to look at so how they are supposed to be temptresses is a stretch.

So. For the budget and as first time directors I'll add couple of points. Another point for the blonde babe and one for the pretty good effects and use of lots of blood. I guess they made a film far better than many I have seen. It's watchable in places tedious in others. But credit to them for getting it made and for the poster that was very well made. (The one with the blonde babe in) . ...yes I'm obsessed. Ha ha.

The music was ok......except for the friends bands that they are obviously trying to plug. But their amateurish wailings were too distracting and served no purpose other than to showcase .... Pointless and blatant.

Maybe I'll check out their next film to see if it's better. Not the worst movie ever seen that's for sure. As some plonker suggested. Ha ha. Did I mention the hot blonde?

Right, well let's me just start out by saying that "The Witches of Dumpling Farm" wasn't exactly what I had hoped it would be. I sat down to watch this 2019 movie from writers Mark Pickering and Martin J Pickering with the understanding that this was going to be a horror movie.

While "The Witches of Dumpling Farm" did have some horror elements to it, it was quite far from being an actual scary horror movie. Quite far indeed.

This is not a very long movie, but it felt like I was sitting through a 3 hour long movie. Why? Well, because the pacing of the storyline was just atrociously slow. It took forever to go from A to B, and very little of any interest happened along the way.

Most of the movie was just close ups of people looking at each other awkwardly, and it felt like 90% of the movie was just filler to make it become a feature length movie.

The storyline was too simplistic to provide proper entertainment, and there weren't any surprises along the way. It was just a straight forward monotonous ride.

The acting in the movie was adequate, taking into consideration the extreme limitations that was enforced on the actors and actresses in terms of a lousy script and storyline, and having essentially pointless characters to work with.

All in all, "The Witches of Dumpling Farm" wasn't a particularly entertaining or enjoyable movie, nor was it a particularly memorable movie. I managed to sit through it, but was hard pressed to keeping my focus, and I will never return to watch it a second time around.

My rating of "The Witches of Dumpling Farm" is a mere three out of ten stars.

A distinct lack of hot chicks being naked is the most obvious fault with this. There were a bunch of deranged freaks involved. I thought the characters were bad. I didn't really enjoy this film.