Jurassic Planet

Come on, Hal is what you name the AI robot thing, could you not think of something more original than that... I normally love terrible B-movies but this was too serious for my liking, it needs the terrible acting where you feel nothing is taken seriously. I want to feel the badness in the film so I can laugh and just watch pure rubbish. Sadly I was disappointed! Maybe I'll watch zombeavers again cos that was great!

Right, well with a movie of this caliber, you have a pretty good idea what kind of low budget torment you are getting yourself into. But still, I decided to sit down and watch the 2018 movie "Jurassic Galaxy" despite that, on the odd chance that the movie might actually be so campy it would be fun to watch.

Let me just state for the record right now, it wasn't...

First of all, the CGI effects in "Jurassic Galaxy" were atrocious. Sure, they tried and they did have the appearance of the dinosaurs fairly much in place, just a shame that the CGI effects themselves were so poorly made that it looked abysmal most of the time. For a movie such as this, then special effects are a must. And they just failed to deliver on this account.

As for the characters in the movie, well... Let's just say that you shouldn't expect a grand character gallery here, because the characters were unimaginative, flaccid and essentially as interesting as cardboard cut outs. And these lousy characters and lack of proper script hindered the actors and actresses in performing adequately.

Sure the movie managed to deliver exactly what I was expecting, but it wasn't in a good way, and as such then the movie lacked appeal and just utterly failed to captivate me.

I was good and ready to turn off "Jurassic Galaxy" about 25 minutes into the ordeal. But I managed to endure it up until a total of 52 minutes, then I just had my share of nonsense and pointless characters. So I got up and turned off the movie, knowing that I will never return to watch the last 30 minutes or whatever was left of directors James Kondelik and Jon Kondelik 2018 movie "Jurassic Galaxy".

"mom can I watch Jurassic Park ?" "no, we have Jurassic park at home" Jurassic Park at home:

Drug addicted security guard, washed up pilot, convict released during the crash.

Only thing that could have been better is if it was shot in darkness or at least with the camera lens on.

Laughed at all the graffiti, power lines in the background, the converse holding the boom mic, and the paved roads in the "look at that view" moment.

I have purposefully watched many terrible movies on a crappy movie night. I have found some good movies I wouldn't have otherwise watched and worried about the loss of brain cells other movies have taken. This one has to be the most epic crappy movie I have ever seen.

These crashed crew members who apparently never met in their long voyage spaceship have crashed on a planet that is only populated by dinosaurs. One minute you see heinous computer graphics of mountains and forests but the survivors are traipsing about in dry desert brush. They make the environment seem like it's summer and hot yet it was clearly filmed in late fall when no leaves were left on the vegetation with the exception of carefully placed palms. So on a planet where no other life forms but dinosaurs apparently exist they walk on gravel roads and pass trees that have graffiti on them. They never even ask are there other humans here for these roads to exist. Dinosaurs attack some survivors and kill them but apparently humans aren't on the menu as all victims are left intact and uneaten.

Not only is the plot more holes than story, but these actors don't make believable astronauts or even crash survivors. The best part of the movie is Pal and it's just a small orb that is a jack of all trades. I guess in this movies' case, you get what you pay for. I feel like this was someone's dream and since no production companies would pick it up they decided to film it themselves.