Escape from Death Block 13

Everything about this "Thing" is absolute Crap... an insult to the Movie Industry...including the (VERY) Poor mans Charles Bronson....do yourselves a Favour avoid it liike the Plague.... Burn iit !!!!

Of you that likes to watch a movie at higher speeds than usual, use 1.5 ffwd and mr. Bronzi becomes the legendary charles bronson , yet again!!!! He is still the spittin' image of the cultstar of the 70's, and he must be charles bronsons twin brother born 30 years later as a result of their mums teratoma birth, and its a shame tto say, mr bronzi has become even better on the acts.

We all know the 70's spaghetti westerns, with its telephonic sounds and whipsnapping sound effects, well this is the 2020's tortellini thriller, with fist fights and gunfights and gore and splatter that just a b- movie can bring forward, its a very well done charade, a multitude of prison break movies turned into one completely new one, where the reaper man never reaches the main cast, and where retakes is an unknown procedure, and the hallelujahs of glorious hudlums covers the mould eaten prison walls and the special effects is made outta the first version of photoshop.

So a low level production it is, it has all the glitches of soundboom shadows and production crew reflecting in the pilot sunglasses, but its just a fictional rump made outta neanderthalic capabilities amd a storyline written with the commandments of prisonlife as the inspirational source. Its a funfare for all of us loving bud spencer and terrence hills brawlouts and barfights in the 1970, no more intellect is required.

Well its not a feinsmaeckers movie, let that be said from a grumpy old man, that has mr bronzi rolling up as the new vigilante favourite on the silver screen. Its fodder for the black out party, ill give it an 8 for the clichees and action comedy and choice of cast, especially the prison caracters.

...and what do you do when you're like the rest of tinseltown in the 21th century - got no new ideas, innovation and creativity in movie art? Ya resurrect them in the shape of actors who look like these passed movie legends and continue milking a concept, story and style in order to get easy money and please the modern hipster virus with legs in a true trendvictimized manner, but of course.

Shot like a low budget flick, to make some quick beer money.

The plot was full of holes, the acting was weak, and the special effects were anything but "special".

I was surprised this thing was filmed in 2021, it has more of an 80's feel to it.

And speaking of the 80's, a flick of this caliber may have made its mark at the box office back then, but these days, the audience expects much better than this.

Lastly, there's nothing about this movie that brings anything new, there's so many movies like this, it grows old fast.

With that thought in mind and by using a Charles Bronson look-a-like, I think it proves movie producers are out of ideas.

I've reviewed over 1,200 films and rated over 2,200, and this has to be in the top 10 worst films of all time. However, as far as the worst acting of all time, the legendary Charles Bronson look-a-like wannabe Robert Bronzi wins first place. There is not one casting agency that will use their name to say they represent Bronzi, so I'll assume he won the Hungarian lottery jackpot; this horrible nonsense was his 6th starring role, so clearly his winning jackpot was huge enough to fund all his cringeworthy films to make him feel like he's an "action movie star". I'm guessing he forgot to spend at least half his winnings for acting classes.

One would think this was a horrible film from the 1980's - CGI and laughable action scenes and special effects, but sadly this is a 2021 production. What's even worse, is that this was directed by an experienced director, Gary Jones. Was he medicated and/or drunk directing this garbage? I've never heard of Jones, but I'd be embarrassed to have my name on this film even as a first-time director, let alone an experienced one.

The 104 min runtime was excruciatingly painful to watch. Every cliche imaginable for this genre was present, but only in their worst versions possible. This entire production, including 99% of the acting, was worse than a 5th grade drama class play. The only (barely) entertaining actors were Nicholas Turturro, and Chris "Bunyan loves trees!" Hahn, who was hilarious, especially his laughing. Bronzi's action scenes looked like he was suffering arthritic pain and had no clue how to fight. All the S/VFX were the worst I've ever seen, including that one attempt for gore after a fall. And since when does blood turn into red smoke lmao?

If you really want to get even with someone, convince them to see this mess. Thankfully, I saw this with a bunch of friends with lots of beers and bongs, and because we couldn't stop laughing out loud how terrible this was, I'm giving this a very generous 2/10 for comedic value. Mr. Bronzi, please spare all of us, and yourself the embarrassment, and use whatever lottery winnings you have left to buy a yacht and some babes and never speak of acting again. Thanking you in advance.