Before I Go

Just an absolute indie gem. The film is slow paced and deliberate. And Annabella Sciorra is nothing short of amazing. Ten years after her last performance, a singer struggles with life itself. She considers suicide but stops herself at the last moment. She has a series of menial jobs, and is dealing with her dad who has amassed a pile of junk he's collected his whole life. It's hard to describe this film, but when it ended, I felt like I was hit with a velvet sledgehammer. One of the best films I've seen in quite a while.

This film came up on my list to view. I have always been a fan of Mr. Schaeffer and enjoyed his earlier work such as Fall, After Fall, Winter ( sequel ) Mind The Gap, and even If Lucy Fell which got terrible reviews but I enjoyed it.

Annabella Sciorra is a one woman show here. Samantha has hit a wall, and can't decide whether to give up, or try to go over it, or if she should even care either way. This film gently explores what happens when we forget the point of living. It's a beautiful meditation on coming to an understanding with ourselves. Manhattan is as much a character here as it is the setting, but instead of representing existential angst as in so many films, it's a comfortable oasis of familiarity for Samantha - her natural element. Watching this film, I felt like I was looking into someone's real life rather than seeing a movie. I get it.

Besides the fact that I lived for over two decades in the neighborhood in which this film takes place, there was so much I related to. The life stage in which the protagonist, Samantha, beautifully and realistically played by Annabella Sciorra found herself was so right on. I was a little annoyed when someone told her she was depressed and she denied it as I thought someone "like her" i.e., artist, New York sophisticated, etc., would know she was depressed, or would admit to it, anyway. But, OK, maybe she wasn't so savvy...? Or was just too depressed to engage?

But she did embody so much of what I know to be a depressed artist, hell, a depressed person, at a stage in life considering where do I go from here, if anywhere? Maybe I should just pack it in. But she did find reasons to live, related to all she thought she'd given up and though it was predictable, so what? Who doesn't want a happy ending, especially these days? The bottom line is the script works. Really well.

Oh, let me not forget to mention the moments of humor in Before I Go. Subtle, yes, but in my book that's the way humor should be, especially in a film about depressed or otherwise Morningside Heights characters.

My attention was caught at the very first screen when the quote from The Guest House was displayed, and I quickly settled in when she confronted the guy in the grocery store. This is a wonderful movie about life; how our perception of it affects how we respond in the world and the impact positive and negative words and actions have on those around us.