Jersey Shore: Family Vacation

First off, I gotta say how amazed I am at Mike's incredible metabolism, especially at his age. Consuming what seems like 10s of thousands of calories a day and remaining in a great shape is truly admirable.

That being said, and I never thought I would say this, I truly feel bad for the guy's predicament with the government. I am amazed at his transformation and truly wish him the best in maintaining his new lifestyle and in future endeavors.

I'm not surprised at Pauly Ds success considering his newfound fame caused his DJ career to blow up. I never really liked the guy, he seems like an emotional black hole that thrives on drama but somehow manages not to start any himself. Great taste in cars though. However, that incredibly disturbing sex doll he brought to represent Sam is just awful on every level. Something is not right with his head.

The most surprising thing for me was Ronnie. Judging by his house and his car, he somehow seems to have managed to maintain his wealth over the years. This is likely the only reason that the doctors have not yet declared him brain dead and pulled the plug. Oh Ron, no matter how much vodka flows down your gullet it will not magically wash away your baby mama. Sam, congratulations.

Vinny. The one person who for the first 2 seasons of the OG show seemed like the only normal one. Carbohydrates are essential to maintain healthy brain function, and what you see from his behavior is a clear example of that. He is obviously not mentally or physically well, and is now just a tragic figure.

Snooki and Deena. Always have been bimbos with hardly half a brain cell to share in between the two. Finally, the alcohol has won and the last cell has left the building. Snooki's plastic surgeon however belongs in jail. That upper lip would let her smoke a cigarette in the rain with her hands tied behind her back.

J (woww) has obviously grown up. From what I remember she was the only one who was never an airhead. Now just a mom and wife.

The MVP here is Sammi who is the only one who had the brains not to show up to this train wreck again.

While the OG show was great purely as a guilty pleasure to watch how ridiculous these people are, this is just a sad attempt to milk some more money out of a dead "franchise"

Disclosure: grew up and went to high school in central NJ around when the OG show first came out, been to seaside heights dozens of times which was only a 20 minute drive down, snuck into Karma at 17, etc. I am on season 1 episode 5 and can no longer watch. If I do, I'm afraid I will have Ronnie's mental capacity by the end of the show.

I enjoyed the first iteration of Jersey Shore. Not only did it remind me of the things I didn't miss (and was lucky to have lived through) about my youth, but it was always fun to watch these train wrecks go off the tracks, melt down, and otherwise show their a$$es on national TV.

There is something stale about this "Family Vacation" that just can't seem to freshen up, no matter how much "GTL" they throw at it. It's the same, they're basically the same, except wealthier, filled with collagen and plastic surgery, and a LOT more boring. Pauly D, and to some extent, Snookie, are the saving grace, once again, about the show. Problem is, they're unable to save it much.

Speaking of Snookie, she has so much lip collagen (and most probably inserts/implants as well), and such huge balloon boobs, that she looks like a cartoon. A cheap impression of her former authentically cheap self. She's hard to look at. J-Woww is not "wow" anymore. She's a suburban housewife with two kids, and frankly, I never watched the show originally because of her less-than-existent personality. She was hot. Now she's not. Such a shame. She's also quite tired and her tired, droning, Jersey voice is grating to the ear.

Mike Sorrentino had a legal "situation" which calmed him, and the former hard partier is like a monk now, a puffy-cheeked chip-monk. Gone are the scheming, conniving plays of the "Sitch", who so improbably got girls night after night. The guy you loved to hate is now a guy you hate to like.

What can I say about lovesick Ronnie? He's pitiful. H'es lost a lot of brain cells since that original Jersey shore, and hew only had about 16 of them to begin with. He's obviously affected by his drinking, both on and off the show, and so obviously deflated and defeated by the thought of his very pregnant girlfriend about to lock him down for the next 18 years. Oh Ronnie, you don't have to stay, but your'e definitely going to have to pay.

The rest of the cast, including Vinnie, who was never much of an interesting character, and party doll Sammie, who is quite possibly the brains of the show, are barely worth mentioning. Deena is sweet and authentic. She always has been. She's actually my favorite on the show next to Paulie. That's not enough of a draw though.

The fact is, this show is dead, and these "kids" are all grown up with grown up problems. There's no more hedonism about the show. Even in the clubs they look too old and irrelevant. This ain't 5 years ago. When they get their freak on, they just look like freaks. I would pass on the rest of the episodes, but I just have to see what happens to Ronnie. He's in real bad shape.

Its not the same without sami but its still a good one to watch.

The guidos are back, and better than ever!

I love watching Jersey Shore family vacation. The set up is way different than the original show. To start, we aren't in the same house doing the same minimum pay job. We follow the original cast in their own lives and their own homes. It is way more intimate, following each others different stories and watching them join forces for vacations, boys trips, girls trips, family vacations. The photography is much better now than the original, a lot of 4th wall breaks.

We're watching them grow and learn. Enjoy life, fail, succeed. And fist pump until the sun comes up.

I saw the original show and for the most part I actually enjoyed it. It was fun, it was different, it was something worth talking about. Love or hate it, this show paved the way for all the by far worse shows that came after it.

There never was and there will never be a Shore like the Jersey Shore. And once again they proved it.

Yes, they're now older and not that much wiser. Not everyone! Honestly I can see past the fake boobs, the surgeries, and the fact that they still argue about the most insignificant things.

Honestly one of the characters that I missed the most although he was there, was Mike. Mike might have started a lot of drama but at the end of the day he was one of the main reasons why I even watched the show. Now he's nice, too nice! Not sure if the niceness was all genuine especially when it came to Ron that continues to be more toxic than Chernobyl, and all the times he brought up Mike legal problems and Mike simply took it without saying or doing much. When he had plenty of ammo to have ruined Ron vacation at least half a dozen times over. Also I missed the Mike that was the real cook of the house. This time Mike was stuffing his face with so much food it seemed he hadn't eaten anything in years. Mike seemed to have done a stretch in the Shawshank Redemption before he even entered the show. That or food is now his only vice like he himself says so. This new Mike proudly says, he doesn't drink, he doesn't cheat, he doesn't uses drugs, he doesn't even drives fast anymore, but when it comes to food... It's like a one man attempt at beating his own record of how much I can eat before I pass out. Maybe in season two we'll get to see more of the real Mike and not so much of the legally chained down Mike.

Jenni although no longer possessing the Woww effect she has definitely matured. Of the girls and even guys in the house she's the one that actually seems to have matured into a grown--up. Problem is that she now seems like the Mom of the group. Also the attention she gives Ron... Simply too much! She's becoming like Vinnie mom even though she seems to not realize it.

Pauly D, is nice. He was always nice. And he still is nice, but all that niceness is like too much sugar... It actually makes me sick. The guy is always on everyone side which means he's on no one side except his own. From him you can't expect much except that he'll try so hard to prank people that he'll end up pranking himself. Also for someone that says he doesn't like drama he sure likes to watch it unfold from the sidelines.

Vinny, not only hasn't he matured to match his age, not only did he became a diva, but he also seems to be a few cards off a full deck. You'll see him make the most unbelievable mistakes anyone can make in a relationship. Also his bromance with Pauly... Too bad it is all for show (literally for show). Outside the show they live completely different lives and don't even get together. I've seen strangers with more interaction.

Snookie. She became weirder, if that was even possible. But weirder in the sense that she wants to have fun she wants to get along with everyone but she also makes some very immature mistakes. Honestly her marriage does not seem to be as solid as she likes to make it seem. And you'll see exactly that in this show. It was as clear as water. Or in this case Vodka.

Deena... Not really anything there. She's there. That's all anyone can say about her participation.

And finally Ron. The intoxicator! Of everyone in the house he's the one that didn't changed one bit. He's still in a completely futile relationship, that he doesn't want to be, and funny enough and this only proves how Mike was really holding back, every time he talked about Mike's legal issues Mike could've easily thrown in his face that Ron was facing time also. Only in his case it will be 18 years of prison time. Trapped to a woman he clearly doesn't want to be with and with a daughter I'm not even sure he wanted. Also he clearly hasn't gotten over Sammi and basically said he would return to her if she wanted to. To be totally honest it seems Sammi not being there seemed more like the producers had to choose between the two and seeing Ron is apparently the only one in the house with a really messed up relationship, they went with Ron. He was the drama queen and king of the show.

For a second season I would've much liked to see Sammi there but not Ron. Just to see if the drama is really all Ron's fault or not. And to see if Sammi and Ron were and still are really a perfect match of toxicity.