Don't Fuck in the Woods 2

The rating is based on what it is, not what soaring movies can be as this certainly is not. There is plenty of nudity, and also plenty of tattoos. Some of the nudity one may wish they hadn't seen. There are copious amounts of blood flowing at the key points in the movie. It is a summer camp, and Gil is a caretaker, who is also a felon who served 5 years in prison, let out for good behavior. But a local sheriff (?) who is very fat wants him back in prison. The camp counselors are present, but none of the kids. There is something evil in the woods, and it is transmitted by a slug type creature, but that is not its only form. As expected, little of the acting is good and it has the low budget vibe throughout. Gil probably does the best acting job. They are isolated 50 miles from anywhere, and the sat phone got broken so they cannot call for help. And the body count increases. If one has actually been able to stay to the end, there are out takes in the credits that shows they had fun making the movie. Oh yes, it ends with the potential for a sequel.

Whereas the 2016 predecessor was actually an okay horror movie ruined by an unnecessary amount of nudity and lewd scenes, then I must admit that I wasn't exactly harboring the biggest of expectations to the 2022 sequel from writers Shawn Burkett and Cheyenne Gordon. Yet, I still opted to watch it, as I had the chance.

The storyline in this 2022 sequel wasn't particularly thrilling or entertaining, so it was a step back from the original 2016 movie. And that was a shame really, because they had opted to tone down the pointless nudity and lewd scenes here.

Sure this movie was watchable, but you're not in for a particularly outstanding moment in horror cinema. The movie was, at best, forgetable actually. Yeah, it is one of those a-dime-a-dozen type of horror movies that brings nothing new to the genre, and just basically does what a thousand other movies had done before it.

But hey, if you enjoy semi-lewd 1980s horror movies, then you will probably find some enjoyment in director Shawn Burkett's 2022 movie.

The acting performances in the movie were fairly okay. And it was definitely nice to see a cast ensemble of all unfamiliar faces and talents. Just a shame that they didn't have a more solid script to work with.

Visually then this 2022 movie is a step up from the 2016 movie, no doubt about it. But special effects can only do so much for a movie, you know.

My rating of this 2022 sequel lands on a four out of ten stars. I watched all 87 minutes of it, but was only mildly entertained. And this is not a movie that I will be returning to watch a second time, nor is it a movie I would recommend for horror fans to rush out to get to watch.

A naked woman gets raped and impregnated by a monster in the woods. Pine Hills is a rundown summer camp opening for a new season. The young camp counsellors arrive to get the place into shape although their focus is not always on the work. The final girl from the first movie is walking the woods. A tattoo lesbian couple is doing that thing and gets attacked.

The first movie looks like a DYI project with a bunch of small town friends. They decided to pick up a camera one weekend. It's barely a functional movie and not even a full length one at that. This sequel is a low grade sexploitation B-horror. It delivers the nudity and bloody gore. It's an actual movie and well below average one. The acting is passable to weak. The writing is simple. The filmmaking is poor although slightly better than the first movie. That's what this movie is. It's slightly better.

After barely surviving the night, the survivor of a vicious monster attack stumbles upon a group of counselors at a nearby summer camp, but when they learn her warnings that the creatures who attacked her before have followed her to the camp must fight the deadly creatures to get away alive.

This was a highly enjoyable and entertaining creature feature. One of the finest points of this one is the rather fun setup that enables this one to be a clear sequel to the original. Explaining how she survived and is able to get to the camp which is obliviously doing their own thing getting ready for camp while spending just as much time seducing or getting laid does this quite nicely, being able to generate some solid sidestories here. With several of the girls trying to seduce the guys to varying degrees of success, the backstory of the ex-con working with them, and the decent work of the counselors trying to get the camp up and running, the ground-work is there for this one to connect the two films together. Once that setup has been accomplished, this one manages to introduce the two stories fully with her arrival at the camp in hysterics. Even though this has a fine start with the attacks on the hikers or their own stragglers in the woods, this one brings about the most fun once the creatures possess the campers and set out ravaging the company left at the camp. The inclusion of a fine suspense angle with them being unaware of the possession and letting the friends run wild picking off several in the area with some pretty impressive and brutal encounters that not only generate some highly effective action scenes fighting off the possessed but allow for a slew of impressive make-up work on the possessed campers and the bloody deaths. These manage to make for a strong and entertaining indie effort. There aren't too many issues here but a few minor factors do come up. One of the biggest is a slightly jarring change to the creatures here which changes them around from a humanoid deformity like the first one to a parasitic being that possesses the host for no reason. There wasn't much to the original that indicated that was how it operated since it was a proper creature whereas here it feels like a weird change that does have a lot of impressive biological functions as to how it all works yet that does slightly change up how the original came together. The only other issue here is a few instances where the budget comes into play, which is namely the rushed finale or some questionable CGI that looks somewhat obvious, but thankfully neither of these factors is too much of a drawback to this one.

Rated Unrated/R: Extreme Graphic Language, Graphic Violence, Full Nudity, and Sex Scenes.

Holy mother of god! Who the hell thought it was a good idea to dump some cash on this thing?

This movie must be highly listed on the Screenplay Highlighting Inferior Talent index. I have to warn you about this dribble, and I have to have a minimum of 600 characters.

You would be better off watching Evil Dead (1981) or Evil Dead 2 (1987), at least they did it correctly.

Lot's of boobs, couldn't spot any plastic though. Only one scene where the thing entered a girls clacker and a bit of girly bits can be seen.

Bad acting, forgotten lines, bad set, it's all here. The story was passable, with polish and a decent budget, this movie could have risen in the ratings. Sorry, not recommending this one.