The Carmilla Movie

I saw this at the theatre last year and just re-watched it this week on my computer. As someone who was a big fan of the first season of the series as a teenager, this film feels special to me, and since I already love the characters, seeing them again on the big screen, and in a new environment, was exciting and fun. That being said, some of the classic pitfalls of Carmilla are here -- some cheesy dialog, questionable cinematography, etc. But, if you're already a fan of the series, you're sure to enjoy this! 8/10

There's only one reason to like this movie, and that's because it's got a lesbian theme.

Sorry, but that doesn't make a good movie. If you're with a group of mates getting drunk one Sunday & suddenly decide that you can make a movie, then just hodgepodge a few ideas together & go for it. Don't worry about a lack of acting talent, or nothing matching together, just get a few more drinks into you and it'll be right. All you'll need is a sex theme hook and nobody will care that a primary school's play production is of better quality.

If you want to watch anything because it's got a lesbian theme, then sure, go ahead, however if you want to watch a movie with some degree of quality in either acting or its script, then keep hunting.

This supposed horror-comedy is a continuation of a web series from a couple of years beforehand (which you get a recap of at the beginning). It's another work based on Sheridan Le Fanu's novella Carmilla. That book is very good - this is God-awful. It plays out like an extremely sub-par episode of the original Charmed TV show - but crammed with modern CW type identity politics. The one saving grace is actress Elise Bauman who plays 'Laura'. She's clearly talented and delivers well on comedy (she went on to do quite a bit; I hope she has a good career and stays away from rubbish like this in the future). There's actually a post-credits scene hinting at a sequel - optimism at its finest. As far as I'm aware it hasn't been made, and fingers crossed it stays that way. Elise Bauman gets this 3/10.

Honestly this movie is the greatest film in queer cinema history. It has everything from romance to action to spooky ghosts and vampires. Elise Bauman and Natasha Negovanlis shine as respectively Laura and Carmilla and their romance develops and continues to thrive despite the many obstacles they face. The creators have done a fantastic job in avoiding LGBT+ tropes and the movie does a great job of being just that, an amazing movie that just happens to be hella gay. The representation in this film makes up for any past mistakes done by the media (and that is saying something!). Whether you have been a fan since the beginning, started watching more recently or have never even seen the Carmilla series. This film can be enjoyed by everyone from all walks of life.

Right, well I am by no means familiar with the "Carmilla" series, so I have absolutely no clue as to what came before this 2017 movie, aside from what is referenced throughout the course of the movie. And I have to admit that I felt that I wasn't getting half as much from the movie as I would have, had I been familiar with the characters, the previous storylines, the events and what not.

So yeah, this 2017 movie from writers Alejandro Alcoba and Jordan Hall was somewhat of a swing and a miss in terms of providing me with much entertainment. Honestly, then I had no clue as to what was going on or how I should react to the events, as I didn't know the characters at all.

"The Carmilla Movie" felt like a pseudo-gothic vampire homosexual ghostbuster movie, a comedy of sorts, but not getting me to laugh a single time throughout the course of its monotonous run time.

Personally I didn't enjoy this movie one bit. There was too much focus on showing off lesbian love scenes, something that I felt sleazed down the movie unnecessarily. And oddly enough it seemed that every single character of the main character gallery was homosexual. Sure, why not...

I didn't feel any particular thrill from the movie, and I can't claim that the characters showed off much of anything that appealed to me. Everything felt bland and pointless, and it was a struggle to stray afloat and stay awake throughout the course of this slow paced movie.

I am sure that "The Carmilla Movie" will be entertaining to those familiar with the series, but for someone never having heard of the series, this was just simply a movie that failed to provide entertainment. And it felt like this movie (and series perhaps too) was aimed at a female teenage audience.

My rating of director Spencer Maybee's 2017 movie lands on a three out of ten stars, and that is mostly based on the production value, the sets, props and wardrobe.