30 Miles from Nowhere

The ending tried to shock you but there's no way it would of went down that way. Was decent until the last 5 minutes.

30 Miles from Nowhere Directed by Caitlin Koller. Written by Seana Kofoed

30 Miles From Nowhere is about a group of old college friends who get together for one of their friend's funeral. They gather at his home with his wife who seems just a bit off. There is a ton of strife lingering from their past and it along with the inclement weather is threatening to explode. Things are not quite what they seem.

That's the basic gist of the film without going into depth too much. This is a movie that thrives on relationships. It plays on slights and how things used to be. Any progress made in the ensuing years is swept away as they regress to their college selves. Those people are the absolute worst.

Once I made it to the end of the film, I figured out that was the point. The point was to expose these toxic monsters for what they were. That doesn't make spending time with them any fun. That's the entire point of the film. There is nothing else but spending time with these psychotic garbage people. I just wanted the worst things to happen to them. I wanted Jason to hop over from another movie and just lay waste to these folks in the most gruesome fashion possible.

I suppose there might be some humor to see these assholes tear at each other exposing old wounds. That only goes so far though. Each one of them with the girlfriend stealing playboy being the worst of the bunch drag nails on a chalkboard in my brain. The filmmaking is fine. A lot of the time it really becomes a case of solid filmmaking backing a terrible idea for a movie. There doesn't necessarily need to be a likable character for there to be a gateway into the story. There just can't be an endless parade of jerk offs. I need some empathetic or even just charismatic lead. We get none of that.

If that sounds up your alley, then go for it. It is available on both Shudder and Tubi with commercials. I was annoyed by the people and there were no real laughs or scares coming from my end. It's just not a good flick. I give this movie a D.

Annoying characters who one couldn't care less about. Poor acting. Cliche story. The Wisconsin wilderness is not scary xD It could be if executed properly on film, but this is just a bunch of privileged, helpless idiots running around at a lake place.

Bad addition to the "cabin in the woods" theme.

Complete waste of time, storyline was sketchy, acting was below average and ending was as dull as s butter knife. Very easy to see that any review greater then maybe a 5 has to be faked! Do yourself a favor and pass on this film...

When a movie is really good it just doesn't need fake reviews. This movie has alot of fake reviews, from people that only reviewed one movie and nothing else ever, and it's necessary because that's the only positive you're gonna read about this movie. The good thing about fake reviews is that they score it a ten star because somebody asked them to but they are too lazy to write more than two lines about the movie. 30 Miles From Nowhere is exactly where this movie should have stayed, far away from civilisation, so nobody else has to endure this waste of time. Very poor script, no suspense at all, about everything seems to be done by amateurs.