Lonely Hearts

Lonely Hearts (201) tells a very pointless and frustrating story about a group of individuals who basically want to get laid but reworded to love. Not sure why people came on board exactly to make this project, not do I understand why Sam Mason Bell keeps working with notorious creep Martin W Payne. Extremely graphic sex scenes for shock factor. Pornography disguised as a horror? Give me a break! Lonely Hearts doesn't do any justice in the film industry due to its lazy cinematic quality, terrible sound, awful dialogue. The only decent thing was the actors and I'm sure they regret being in this now.

Fully uncertain of how to rate this because it takes turns into about four different genres before ending in a wildly different place than it existed for the majority of the film. I have to credit the film's ability to surprise.

I assumed form the first few minutes that it was a dark-edged satire of Bachelor-style dating shows, which it was. But it had some other things on its mind as well. Companionship versus sexual desire, the manipulation and abuse in reality TV, some commentary on religious belief. And it becomes what it ends up being so slowly that by the time it hits, you'd forgotten to expect it was coming. Perhaps not a great movie, but definitely an interesting one that was trying something different. Oh, and lots of dong in this movie. More dong than you generally get in most movies.

There is a kernel of a good idea buried in Lonely Hearts, a sub-amateur film directed by Sam Mason Bell, about a mock-reality dating show where the producers have something more sinister in mind for the contestants. I like how frank it is with certain subject matter, but there is not a shred of common sense or logical thought to be found anywhere else. It looks like everything was made up as they went along, and then just turned into whatever they could out of it. More than half of this is unwatchable. Take two specific scenes and put them in Valentine, and Jamie Blanks' film would increase by at least a star.

Basically an excuse for some (attempted) titillating sex that uses horror trappings in an bid to disguise what it's actually concerned with. And it doesn't really perform well on any front (being either sexy or scary). The idea of utilizing a reality show as a setting for some horror shenanigans is solid enough, but there's just nothing to distinguish it from similar offerings, and it takes WAY too long for anything even remotely creepy to begin to transpire. The only real positive that can found here is Alice Mulholland, who is the performer that tries hardest to find a real character in the material.

Did the makers of this film not have enough friends or something? What kind of dating show premise features only FIVE people,already clearly broken up into groups (the old man and the old woman together,the young people together). There was. A line that stated "you are the last two couples" as if they started out with more than FIVE PEOPLE!!! COMPLETELY unnecessary GRAPHIC sex scenes,making this movie more porno than horror. Blah scenery. Looks like it was shot in a clearing adjacent to a corn field. And the "game" was ridiculous. And the ending was convoluted, confusing, nonsensical trash. What was even the purpose of it all!?!? WHAT was really going on!?!? WHY was this happening!?! My favorite part was the "torture",because pouring wine on someone's body and rubbing a small jar candle on their chest is HORRIFIC!!! (insert THICK sarcasm here) and yes,masking tape does indeed hold bloody items immobile,seeing at it is pretty much the strongest tape you can buy........(insert that sarcasm again!!) Overall this movie was so stupid it would have been held back if it was a schoolchild. It's too late for me.... I can't unsee this. But you have a chance,and a choice. Save yourself!