Treize à la douzaine

I recently read an interview with the show runner from a very popular and well made TV series that has been off the air for a number of years. They asked him, with excitement, if he was going to reboot or restart the show. He simply said absolutely not, all these reboots are awful and I would never want to destroy the memory of my show by making a cheaper, woke, lazy version like everyone else in Hollywood is doing. I really wish someone from Disney would read that article and take it to heart. You built an empire on good entertaining family shows, don't destroy it by making cheap, woke, lazy shows (which seems to be all you are doing nowadays).

This was one of the most eye-rolling experiences anyone could have watching a movie. From the moment this film begins it sets its low bar with a long expositional scene that shows the cringe-inducing Disney Channel quality that will follow. It pretentiously tries to be funny while at the same time trying to appeal to the younger audience of this generation leading to a film that feels like catering without style or substance. This was obviously not going to be a film that should be taken seriously, but considering the intended audience this film tries to appeal to, it should have had some sense of self-respect. The look of the film feels cheap and lazy. There were many points in this film that felt embarrassing to watch, especially because of how much it tries to throw at the screen in hopes that it will somewhat entertain anyone who bothers to watch it. It's a shame that throughout this entire film there wasn't an ounce of effort to tell a compelling story of any kind, leading to a film that tries too hard and morbidly fails in every aspect.

This was horrendous. And Walt must be spinning in his grave with this one. There have to some creative minds that Disney can hire. I honestly don't understand the lack of creativity.

Unfortunately... rather bad.

'Cheaper by the Dozen' undoubtedly has its heart in the right place but what a mess of an execution, they basically come up with as many messages as possible and cram them together - but there's one problem, they forgot the glue! It's just a sequence of points, as it culminates with a woeful, forced family drama.

The cast make it slightly more watchable than it would've otherwise been, I will say that - they aren't great, but are predominantly hindered by the lame dialogue and yawnful character development. Zach Braff and Gabrielle Union are a solid pairing, while Mykal-Michelle Harris and Leo A. Perry are the pick of the younger lot - I would've liked to have seen more of their characters, as those two definitely had the best comedic timing of the kids. Others I note: 'Talking Dead' favourite Ron Funches and 'White Chicks' alum Brittany Daniel.

The only hero from this 2022 flick? Larry Sims. That dude went ham on Union's hair - I've never noticed a character go through so many hairstyles before! Hope he got paid enough.

I feel a tiny bit bad for disliking something that tries to come out meaningful, but man this is a cringefest. If you want a film adaptation of the 1948 novel, I'd recommend the 2003 remake with Steve Martin.

Surprisingly, I was seated for both Cheaper By The Dozen flicks with Steve Martin in theaters as a kid when they came out, so I gave this one a shot.

If you're looking for some decent entertainment, try to avoid it. If you're forced to watch it with the kids, good luck... it's bad. Eye-rolling, lazy, unfunny, I felt bad for the actors involved because Zach Braff & some of the kids are actually trying. It's a sad excuse for shameful product placements and creating uninspired content from an existing IP.