En frygtelig kvinde

If you don't look after your self, and who you are as a person, you are in risk of loosing your self. This movie shows all the warnings before you are inside the event horizon, where it is almost impossible to get back.

After watching Amanda Collin in Raised By Wolves, I wanted to see some of her other work. I saw this was available for free on Amazon Prime and the trailer looked good, so I was happy to check this out.

Based on the title, and sinister cover photo, I expected Marie (played by Amanda Collin) to be some kind of devious sadist who enjoyed webbing a weave of evil. But that's not what this film is. And to be honest, I'm not even sure if I would call her "horrible." Perhaps that's because so many of her manipulative behaviors are commonplace and somehow not condemned enough in modern culture.

At the crux of this film lies an all too common relationship with a heavily unbalanced power and personality dynamic. Aggressive women like Marie are toxic, manipulative, and abusive for men like Rasmus. Men like Rasmus would be better with a woman with a different kind of feminine energy.

Despite almost always getting her way, Rasmus doesn't give Marie what she wants, which is a confident man who shares his life with her. She doesn't want to be with a man whose only life is her. With each concession and roll over that Rasmus makes, the less respect she has for him.

This starts to come to a head on their museum date, where Marie articulates the problem in the relationship. Tired of Rasmus lacking a backbone, and unwillingness to confront it, she does it for him.

"Are you afraid of me? It just seems like you're afraid. You walk on eggshells around me. I can't stand it. I don't know what I've done to you. That's why I am asking you. You tip toe around me, and you act like a little puppy. Why do you have to do that? Why can't you just be yourself?"

Both men and women have been in relationships with this unequally yoked dynamic, and this familiarity should cause some introspection. Perhaps we can see how we have been horrible to others or accepted horrible behaviors from others out of fear of losing a relationship. I enjoy films like this because it holds a mirror to us, and for those looking to grow, it challenges us to do better.

Few movies manage to get under your skin and force you to reflect on who you are as a person in terms of relationships. This movie does that in both satirical and humorous ways, but also in dramatic, cringe worthy ways, where the worst inside of us is painfully portrayed. If you think this movie is just about a horrible, possessive, and controlling woman, you are wrong! It is also about the superficiality of male bonding and the destruction of personal identity that happens in any abusive relationship - whether the perpetrator is a man or a woman. I myself, as well as everyone I have talked to who have seen it, saw many painfully recognizable things in these two extremely well acted characters, which brings the poster for the movie into perspective. A Horrible Woman dares us to look in the mirror and be confronted with our own shortcomings and I triple dare anyone who see it, to NOT discuss it afterwards.

I've been there and done that. I'm just very VERY happy we never moved together and sold my apartment or had a baby. Phew!

People are calling Rasmus weak or "wet" but in reality it is not that simple to be rational I'm afraid. You're in a kind of bubble. And I'm NOT weak or stupid etc.

People told me to leave her many times. Friends and family both. But I loved her and we did have some nice moments. Though short lives.

One day she drove me totally nuts and I screamed so much I couldn't speak for days after. It almost became violent. In that moment I realized it was over for me. Some people don't realize it until it's too late.

So guys, beware of the signs. If she makes you become a worse version of yourself. If you are more often unhappy than happy with her. If you argue more than laughing. Leave!

This move made me feel even better about my decision to leave my ex.

...she breaks the fourth wall twice just to let us know that she knows she is horrible too. Ok, got it, now what was the point of that? There is no depth to the characters, they were all good and engaging actors but they were all playing strictly one note ciphers - most likely the intention of the director, to get the audience to fill in the gaps from their own perspectives so the film can be considered deep and introspective, instead of just what it really is, shallow and superficial with obivous stereotypes - the harried husband and the harridan wife, ok, got it, and again, I ask, now what was the point of that?