Kill 'Em All

Jean Claude Van Damme is getting old, so he needs to take it easy these days with the action scenes. Here he shares the action with Autumn Reeser.

Van Damme plays Philip who ends up wounded at a hospital in America. Reeser plays Suzanne, an ER nurse who is patching him up when a bunch of European bad guys arrive and cause mayhem. Philip ends up saving Suzannne's life instead.

The film is told in flashback as Suzanne is being interrogated by two FBI agents. You will quickly gather that the film has an unreliable narrator and you can kind of guess the twist in The Usual Suspects kind of way.

The film wants to make some kind of statement about the break up of the former Yugoslavia, I thought the time span was all over the place.

The worst JCVD movie I've seen and that's saying something. Most of his movies a poorly written and definitely not Oscar worthy but watchable because of the action he brings to the screen. Not this one, he looks old and miserable in this effort and I only gave it a 1 because its not possible to give any less.

Unfortunately, this has got to be one of Van Dammes worst films. It looks like after all those years of hard partying sure has caught up to him in 2017 as he looked pretty miserable in this. This makes Universal Soldier II look golden. The trailer looked like it would of been a cheesy, so bad it's good 90's throwback action film, but it was just plain bad. It did have a decent supporting cast and a couple of OK action scenes and it was a bit better than say Steven Seagal's stuff, but that isn't saying much. Overall, it's a shame this couldn't have been at least half decent considering Van Damme as of late seemed to have been doing better projects like his show - "Jean Claude Van Johnson". But with a movie like "Kill Em All" his action career doing movies like he used to are long and gone.

3/10

JC Van Damme single handedly created the action genre with his flashy ways. Not surprisingly, he gets older and others take over. On his way down, he cought us by surprise with his JCVD movie, in which he showed more emotion and acting skills than ever before.

Maybe there was hope, but alas, in all movies since, his acting is gone, but also his willingness. He looks and feels unmotivated. All that could be forgiven, if only the action would make up for it. Since this movie has JCVD and Daniel Bernhardt, I was waiting for one final battle, with all the flashy kicks you could ask for.

And than............nothing. Van Damme lost his will to act, but also the will to fight. To be fair, Van Damme did one nice spin kick. But that was so obviously a stunt double, that it was shameful. After movies such as this one and Black Water, for me the Van Damme era is over.

I can't deny that I'm still a Van Damme fan after all these decades. I've accepted that he will never make another film like Bloodsport, Kickboxer or Time Cop as his age simply won't allow. However, he's proved in the past ten years with kickass films (like Expendables 2 and the two most recent Universal Soldiers) that he can still execute impressive fight scenes. And with his solid acting (shown most notably in the 2008 film JCVD) I think Van Damme still has some kicks, punches and performances left in him. For this reason I couldn't resist checking out Jean Claudes newest flick (that just released yesterday here in the U.S.), Kill Em' All.

The films director, Peter Malota, may be a first time director, but he's been working with Van Damme since 1990. I looked him up to discover that they met that year on the set of Double Impact. Malota was the martial arts action choreographer and an actor in the film. He and Van Damme then teamed up, and Malota continued to handle all martial arts fight coordinating on films such as Universal Soldier (the original and The Return), Nowhere to Run, The Quest, etc. All of the above gave me much confidence in this being a fun action packed B-movie with some (hopefully!) exciting fight scenes. Does Kill Em' All deliver is the question..?

Unfortunately, this isn't the "low-budget but super badass" Van Damme flick that I was hoping for, but it's worth rental if you still enjoy watching an older Van Damme kick dudes in the face. It's not particularly bad (for what it is), it's just not particularly good. This film doesn't really do anything we haven't seen before- it's fight scenes are pretty average and what you'd expect. Van Dammes stunt double is obviously younger (and has a slightly different haircut/fade) and pretty easy to notice. Van Damme still gets into the fight, but most of the high kicks are shot from behind and obviously a double (though not nearly as obvious as Steven Seagals have been for the past decade!). On top of all of this, the film doesn't have the budget to ever feel convincing- after the intro scene you never see a single doctor, nurse or patient in the 5 floors of hospital they are running and hiding through (not one!)?! Combined with a weak story and script, Kill Em' All doesn't have too much to praise.

On the upside, the action is consistent from start to finish, even if it's nothing spectacular. It was cool to see Van Damme fight his own son (Kris Van Damme) in this flick (though I was hoping for a more brutal or impressive fight scene between father and son) as well as 90's B-movie martial artist Daniel Bernhardt (star of Bloodsport 2-4). Peter Stormare (The Last Stand) and Maria Conceit Alonso (The Running Man) co-star as the two detectives trying to figure out where Van Dammes character has disappeared to and what exactly happened at the hospital.

Kill Em' All isn't particularly exciting or original, but it is a worthwhile rental if you (like me) enjoy low-budget action movies and still want to see Van Damme beat up the baddies. If you are a JCVD fan and haven't watched the Amazon pilot for Jean Claude Van Johnson (2016) then check that out immediately. If you're caught up with Van Dammes resume (or like low-budget 90's actioners) then it might be worth a rental (or watch on late-night cable TV) but otherwise you should probably look elsewhere.