That summary was not an exaggeration. I've only ever had one other mental breakdown in my life, and it was nothing as severe as this one. I'm not gonna go over how or why it was so terrible, because I can't even remember anymore, even though I only finished watching it an hour ago.
I decided to watch this movie with online friends on a website where you can stream videos and watch them together. They said we were gonna watch a "so bad it's funny" movie. Yeah, I laughed at it at first, but then something started going wrong. Some time between the time Neil Breen started spinning around surrounded by rocks forming circles for the first time, and the time the movie showed the first scene with news reporters (Oh my, I can't even remember which came first.). That's when I was starting to feel a bit off. It got gradually worse and worse. I kept watching it and I had to watch it to the very end. The last 10 minutes of the movie felt like hours. The last minute felt like a whole day. I just wanted to get it over with. I couldn't take it much longer. My eyes glued to the screen.
The credits started rolling. My friends, through their microphones, I could hear them laughing about how bad it was. My computer has no microphone, so they couldn't hear me. But then I cracked while the credits were rolling. I started having a mental breakdown. I went into full hysteria. I was howling, screaming, hyperventilating, shivering, I could hear and feel my heart beating despite how noisy my howling was. I felt so physically sick from this movie. I was in so much mental pain thanks to this film. Confused and broken. I am still feeling the aftermath of the mental breakdown this movie sent me through, even more than an hour later. I'm mentally struggling to breathe right now and something feels really strange and painful in my chest. My body temperature feels abnormally high even after taking a cold shower to try to cool down. Now I feel miserable and weak like I never did before. I never felt that way in a very long time.
Something inside me broke. It broke. I am broken. This isn't an exaggeration. I'm not making this up. This actually happened, I swear on my life. Now, after reading the guidelines for IMDb reviews, I have discovered that I must remove profanity and obscenities from my post. I'll try to do that, it might take a while, and might be difficult. I still want to portray how awful this film made me feel, even if I have to remove the curse words I originally wrote. I'm sorry. I can't think straight right now. This movie doesn't even deserve 1 star out of 10. I wish I could give 0 stars out of 10 but I don't think I can. This made Dora the Explorer look like a timeless masterpiece that I would watch every day of my life and be happy with it. So much pain.
Congratulations, Neil Breen, you have created the cruelest form of psychological torture.
